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Dr. D. on Stefan Zweig, 2004.

The Gormogons Posted on March 17, 2014 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 6, 2014

Two main themes pervade Zweig’s writings. The first is the part that passion plays in human life. If reason, as Hume says, is and should be the slave of the passions, how can we control and reconcile our passions so … Continue reading →

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Environmentalism, the Elect, and the Last Days

The Gormogons Posted on March 17, 2014 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 6, 2014

Excellent read by Stanley Kurtz: Campus egalitarians doth [sic —ŒV] protest too much. They seek not equality but the superiority conferred by victimhood. They yearn to be oppressed—or rather, to be perceived as sufferers—so as to take command of the … Continue reading →

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Bear Watch ’14: It’s working!

The Gormogons Posted on March 17, 2014 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 6, 2014

Remember Leon Aron’s argument that Putin’s Crimea gambit* was for domestic popularity? If so, well-played, Bad Vlad! Germans cheer restoration of the lost dignity of the Reich! Last week, in the midst of the Crimean crisis and on the heels … Continue reading →

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Nietzsche: The Ghost at the Godless Feast

The Gormogons Posted on March 15, 2014 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 6, 2014

Interesting read, if contestable in many parts. There can be little doubt that Nietzsche is the most important figure in modern atheism, but you would never know it from reading the current crop of unbelievers, who rarely cite his arguments … Continue reading →

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♫ If should fall from grace with God… ♫

The Gormogons Posted on March 14, 2014 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 6, 2014

They say God takes care of fools and drunks. If so, he’s been working overtime the last few decades taking care of Shane MacGowan. As the frontman and principal songwriter of the Irish rock band the Pogues, MacGowan is as … Continue reading →

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Brave New Stereotypes | The Weekly Standard

The Gormogons Posted on March 12, 2014 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 6, 2014

Andy Ferguson: Pondering the images I thought again of my feminism teacher. I do think she’d be pleased with today’s state of affairs. The Lean In Collection makes our current condition plain. The collection isn’t about “empowering women”; it’s about … Continue reading →

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W.H. Auden, orphans, a convict, Arcadians & Utopians, and the locus of evil

The Gormogons Posted on March 12, 2014 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 6, 2014

The NYRB runs a great essay by Edward Mendelson on Auden, who seems to have been at pains to conceal that he was often a profoundly good man. Here’s the lead: W.H. Auden had a secret life that his closest … Continue reading →

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Jesus the Bridegroom: The Greatest Love Story Ever Told, Brant Pitre, New York: Image, 2014.

The Gormogons Posted on March 12, 2014 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 6, 2014

For Christian minions out there looking for some Lenten reading, allow Confucius* to suggest Brant Pitre’s new book, Jesus the Bridegroom. Following of the method of his previous, excellent Jesus and the Jewish Roots of the Eucharist, he attempts to … Continue reading →

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Josef Joffe channels Machiavelli on Bear Watch

The Gormogons Posted on March 10, 2014 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 6, 2014

Yet you, Mr. President, have been both ruthless and prudent—just what I prescribed in “The Prince.” You Russians have distilled my wisdom into a pithy phrase: Kto kovo—who dominates whom? And you have beautifully executed my central idea. I never … Continue reading →

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It’s tough being a priest.

The Gormogons Posted on March 7, 2014 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 6, 2014

They offer you this… …and then you get this. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153

Continue reading →
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Sitzkrieg II: Electric Boogaloo

The Gormogons Posted on March 6, 2014 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 6, 2014

Minion ‘Retired Spook’ is skeptical that Confucius’s plans for pushing back against Russian imperialism will gain any traction. He explains: At the risk of sounding disagreeable and cranky (which I am, but I hate to sound like it) please allow … Continue reading →

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The Gormogons’ Position on Crimea

The Gormogons Posted on February 28, 2014 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 6, 2014

Mengli I Giray(r. 1466, 1469–1475, 1478–1515) Our position remains unchanged. We support the immediate and unconditional restoration of the Jochid Giray Khans. As ever, the world needs the Altan Uruk. Confucius, Œc. Vol., posting for Gormogon Prince Tochmas (Toqtamysh Khan). … Continue reading →

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Retired Spook Mail

The Gormogons Posted on December 28, 2013 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Retired Spook, our favoritest Master Sergeant, writes in on a couple of topics. First, he urges caution on the impending overturn of the Senate: Remember, this is the party that took the NYT-endorsed candidate into the 2008 election. They have … Continue reading →

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Popalicious P.S.

The Gormogons Posted on December 18, 2013 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 6, 2014

Doc, Confucius* has it on good authority that Pope Francis is not and has never been an adherent of Liberation Theology, on which basis he was roundly detested by almost all of his fellow South American Jesuits. That said, Confucius … Continue reading →

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Kennedy & Nam, con’t.

The Gormogons Posted on November 20, 2013 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 6, 2014

The Czar asked Confucius’s* opinion on the oft-stated theory that President Kennedy, had he lived, would have withdrawn the U.S. from Vietnam. Confucius does not have a strong opinion one way or the other. Here’s why: Historical counterfactuals are awesome!Buy … Continue reading →

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Si monasterium tuum amas, potes monasterium tuum tenere.

The Gormogons Posted on October 31, 2013 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 6, 2014

Thank you, “Ed Campion,” S.J. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153

Continue reading →
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Worse Than Bush

The Gormogons Posted on October 11, 2013 by GorTApril 6, 2014

Not our words…I’m actually sourcing a story in The Huffington Post: ABC News correspondent Ann Compton described Obama as the “least transparent of the seven presidents I’ve covered in terms of how he does his daily business.” Anyone see the … Continue reading →

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Redskins fans vs. Eagles fans

The Gormogons Posted on October 2, 2013 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 6, 2014

Apropos Jonathan Last’s droll and true comparisons of the Redskins’ and Eagles’ respective fan bases, allow your Volgi to summarize. Confucius says:Redskins fans believe in Santa Claus; Eagles fans, seeing Santa in the flesh, throw batteries at him. Confucius, Œc. … Continue reading →

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G5 — Intergalactic Minion Praise

The Gormogons Posted on July 28, 2013 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 6, 2014

Recently over the transom came this minion memo to Confucius from Darod of Qo’noš, last seen on Twitter hobnobbing with Adam Baldwin. Here’s his missive, translated from the original Klingon. O Luminous One, Congratulations on five years of determined yet … Continue reading →

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Hollywood, Hitler, and Us

The Gormogons Posted on July 13, 2013 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 6, 2014

Arts & Letters Daily links to a Chronicle of Higher Education article called, “When Hollywood Held Hands With Hitler,” hyping a new book claiming Hollywood studios somehow “collaborated” with the Nazi régime in the 1930s to stay in the market. The … Continue reading →

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A Telling Tale

The Gormogons Posted on May 19, 2013 by GorTApril 6, 2014

GorT has been busy time-traveling and gathering information…well, ok, really, I’ve been swamped with work and family stuff.  So, I thought I’d take a few minutes on a quiet, misty Sunday morning to reflect on the current issues facing the … Continue reading →

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Where Are the Right-Wing Extremists? (Con’t.)

The Gormogons Posted on April 22, 2013 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 6, 2014

Let your Œc. Vol., offer another explanation. As good minions, you are aware of the Volgi’s Fallacy of Foreign-Policy Egocentrism, in which other countries’ actions are explained deterministically in terms of one’s own. The bottom line of the FFPE is: … Continue reading →

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The Big Dance

The Gormogons Posted on March 19, 2013 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Yeah, yeah, Dr. J. is on vacation but there is a morning chill in the air, Mrs. Dr. J. is still snoozing and the Lil Resident and Medstudent are watching Wreck-it Ralph on an iPad, so Dr. J. decided to … Continue reading →

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The Democratic Serpent…

The Gormogons Posted on March 7, 2013 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

If you eat your tail, you only shrink. There’s a metaphor in here somewhere. Dr. J. is a big fan of Pete ‘Pencilneck‘ DuPont. Indeed when Dr. J. was a yout’ just shy of voting age, he and Papa J. … Continue reading →

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You Keep Using That Word. I Do Not Think It Means What You Think It Means

The Gormogons Posted on February 4, 2013 by 'PuterApril 6, 2014

Our intellectual betters at the New York Times thoughtfully advise us it is now inconceivable that any rational person could oppose President Obama’s brilliant “compromise” regarding religiously affiliated employers and government mandated birth control coverage. ‘Puter learned the following facts from … Continue reading →

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Say One Thing, Do Another…

The Gormogons Posted on January 21, 2013 by The MandarinApril 6, 2014

Your Mandarin is a long-time student of psychology and has something like fifteen or sixteen degrees in it; it’s tough to remember exactly. One of the more weird things you’ll encounter is the McGurk Effect. Watch this video: That is … Continue reading →

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Watson Says “Get Bent, You Wankers.”

The Gormogons Posted on January 13, 2013 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

IBM’s Watson, as the rendered by an artist based on the limited reseach done by the Czar. Remember Watson, the IBM computer that proved Alex Trebek really is an inch-deep pseudo-intellectual? Well, he wound up in trouble with the law. … Continue reading →

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Century-Old Predictions for 2013

The Gormogons Posted on January 10, 2013 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Over at Weird Universe, Alex there has a compilation of predictions for the year 2013 made in 1913 by London’s then-new Lord Mayor. This got the Czar to thinking: how were some of his predictions for 2013 made back in … Continue reading →

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One Possible Future

The Gormogons Posted on January 7, 2013 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

For most of the Americans that re-elected Barack Obama, social media is revealing that somehow they aren’t getting the guy they thought he would be. This seems incredible to those of us who have long-since recognized him as an incompetent … Continue reading →

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The Fiscal Cliff and Constitutionality

The Gormogons Posted on January 6, 2013 by GorTApril 6, 2014

GorT received some email traffic from some relatives asking about the origin of the Taxpayer Relief Act (the bill saving us, insert laughing here, from the “fiscal cliff”) and referenced the same section of the Constitution that the Burgher of … Continue reading →

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For Those Keeping Score At Home

The Gormogons Posted on December 9, 2012 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

So it breaks down like this: The Liberal: Oh no! This is terrible. The government should be involved! We’re not careful. The Conservative: Oh no! This is terrible; the government could be involved if we’re not careful. The Libertarian: Oh … Continue reading →

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The Adult Campaign vs. The ‘Adult’ Campaign

The Gormogons Posted on November 2, 2012 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Growing up, Dr. J. would watch the conventions, debates and advertisements, and while he was raised a conservative, he was taught to learn about the issues, where the parties stand, and who the candidates are before pulling a lever. Papa … Continue reading →

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Benghazi: Scandal < Cover-Up < Defeat < Abandonment < ?

The Gormogons Posted on October 26, 2012 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 6, 2014

What the hell happened in Benghazi? Even the omniscient* Gormogons are baffled. However, unlike the media, which has looked at the attack and its aftermath largely through the prism of the Obama administration’s cover-up, the Gormogons look to the past. (Or … Continue reading →

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Tibetan history, or bad science-fiction novel?

The Gormogons Posted on October 23, 2012 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 6, 2014

[Byang-chub rgyal-mtshan] did everything in his power to improve the military strength and administration of his myriarchy, but lived in constant discord with the neighboring myriarchs of gYa-bzang and Tshal-pa. His enemy, the dPonchen of Sa-skya, took advantage of the … Continue reading →

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“How To Be A Ho” by Velvet Jones

The Gormogons Posted on September 4, 2012 by 'PuterApril 6, 2014

Congressmen ply their trade,sizing up available johns campaign contributors. Democrats consider themselves and Big and Little party.  That is, Democrats are a “Big Tent” party, taking any and all comers, no matter how wacky their views. Simultaneously, Democrats claim to be the … Continue reading →

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Conventional Thinking

The Gormogons Posted on August 31, 2012 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

BG writes in. I’m sure I’m not the only one who noticed this. Tuesday night: Ohio Governor Kasich: We balanced our budget and we cut taxes. Wisconsin Governor Walker: We balanced our budget and we cut taxes. Virginia Governor McDonnell: … Continue reading →

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NYT: Racist Republicans Target Chocolate City With Uncontrollable Weather Phenomenon!

The Gormogons Posted on August 28, 2012 by 'PuterApril 6, 2014

Republicans use their mastery of weather (along with space and time) to direct a stormas big as Texas to destroy their dark-skinnedenemies in the Chocolate City.  Or so theNew York Times believes. If one’s reading list were limited to the New … Continue reading →

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Remember to face 53rd & Dorchester when you pray. (UPDATED)

The Gormogons Posted on August 17, 2012 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 6, 2014

So, Obamalatry now has, one guesses, its own equivalent of the Black Stone of Mecca. Next step, a Kaaba? So, eventually he did rock her world. Two things: Confucius clicked on this video, and it led with a Mitt Romney … Continue reading →

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How To Tell Your Bad Day Just Got Worse?.

The Gormogons Posted on August 11, 2012 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

..is all we are saying. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all … Continue reading →

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Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms

The Gormogons Posted on August 6, 2012 by 'PuterApril 6, 2014

Rolfe is a good example of howgovernment workers easily morphfrom well-intentioned public servantsinto fascists who want to control everyportion of your life. Each and every time ‘Puter hears the words “alcohol, tobacco and firearms” strung together he thinks not of … Continue reading →

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Mailbag – Church & State

The Gormogons Posted on August 5, 2012 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Gentle Readers, our first missive comes from PC who writes: Dear Dr. J.,  The Catechism of the Catholic Church defines the sacraments as “efficacious signs of grace, instituted by Christ and entrusted to the Church, by which divine life is … Continue reading →

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The Spawn’s Hatching

The Gormogons Posted on July 31, 2012 by 'PuterApril 6, 2014

Thank goodness for Mrs. ‘Puter’sgenes. Otherwise, Spawn wouldbe slow and unattractive like‘Puter. Though if there’s justice,Spawn inherited ‘Puter’s balding gene. Eleven years ago, around three a.m., ‘Puter’s youngest son Spawn burst forth from his shell entered the world. He was … Continue reading →

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The Democratic Party Profits From Teachers’ Union Members’ Pedophilia

The Gormogons Posted on July 30, 2012 by 'PuterApril 6, 2014

Ms. Brown is a sharp reporter and a beautiful bride. Please ignore Dan Senor (right), the lucky bastard. ‘Puter’s happy to see Campbell Brown’s piece in this morning’s Wall Street Journal.  Well, ‘Puter wasn’t happy about the piece’s content, but … Continue reading →

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Krugman Is Nuts

The Gormogons Posted on July 27, 2012 by GorTApril 6, 2014

Paul Krugman uses his Op-Ed column in today’s New York Times to try to deflect the cause of the slow recovery from the Obama Administration. He writes: New GDP report out today; slightly stronger than expected, but still very weak. … Continue reading →

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You should see the Castle budget…

The Gormogons Posted on July 26, 2012 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Batman’s pales in comparison, as Volgi and the Czar made some smart investments per GorT’s foresight. That being said, Dr. J. saw this infographic and found it fun: Dr. J.

Continue reading →
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Liberals Should Shut Their Holes About Guns, Part One

The Gormogons Posted on July 23, 2012 by 'PuterApril 6, 2014

Post Subtitle: (Until Liberals Know Of What They Speak) ‘Puter’s been watching Morning Joe again, so you don’t have to do so.  Like all good mainstream media, the gang at Morning Joe paid lip service to not utilizing the Aurora … Continue reading →

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Liberals Assume You Are Stupid, Mortgage Banking Edition

The Gormogons Posted on July 19, 2012 by 'PuterApril 6, 2014

Christiano Ronaldo and David Beckhamhave absolutely nothing to do with finance.‘Puter just figured he could drive blog trafficby giving the ladies something nice to look at. ‘Puter’s in process of refinancing his mortgage.  He is paying off an outstanding balance … Continue reading →

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사명불가능한

The Gormogons Posted on July 10, 2012 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Hey Czar, remember when Confucius* used to put up all these bizarre YouTube videos that were weird and quirky but somehow totally watchable? Indeed we do. And while we are not a terribly Œcumenical kind of Czar, we can try. … Continue reading →

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Subterranean Science….

The Gormogons Posted on July 3, 2012 by The MandarinApril 6, 2014

Hello, children. Well, you probably wonder what your Mandarin has been up to in the lab lately. So here are some videos documenting what goes on in the Castle basement: What happens to marshmallows when subjected to a vacuum? Let‘s … Continue reading →

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Why Americans Should Give Two Figs About the Looming Euro-pocalypse

The Gormogons Posted on June 18, 2012 by 'PuterApril 6, 2014

The Europeans are Hell-bent on makinga Dresden out of their economies. ‘Puter’s concerned that most Americans do not fully comprehend the slow motion disaster unfolding before their eyes. The European Union and the Euro itself are close to collapse, which … Continue reading →

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The Czar Might Approve

The Gormogons Posted on June 3, 2012 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Hat tip to someone. Who the hell knows. Google grabbed it off Tumblr, and…frankly, who even knows what that means. Nobody on the damned internet speaks English anymore. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ … Continue reading →

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‘Puter, Jr. Earns An Ass Whuppin’

The Gormogons Posted on May 29, 2012 by 'PuterApril 6, 2014

‘Puter’s amid three of the biggest deals of his professional career at the moment.  So, naturally, Mrs. ‘Puter informs ‘Puter he’s got to leave work at 2:15 to pick up ‘Puter, Jr. at Jesuit Institution of Lower Learning (“JILL,” for … Continue reading →

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E.J. Dionne and Maureen Dowd: Roman Catholicism’s Fifth Column

The Gormogons Posted on May 24, 2012 by 'PuterApril 6, 2014

Hey, E.J! You dropped your thirtypieces of silver! Don’t worry. MoDowill get them for you. ‘Puter guesses portraying Mr. Dionne and Ms. Dowd as Roman Catholicism’s fifth column is a bit inflammatory, and perhaps a tad inaccurate.  Mr. Dionne and … Continue reading →

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Cultural Catholics, Liberal Columnists, President Obama and Other Pretenders

The Gormogons Posted on May 23, 2012 by 'PuterApril 6, 2014

The last few days have seen a rash of rationalizing columns from the liberal nominally Catholic nomenklatura.  And yes, ‘Puter means to use “rash” in its most nasty, suppurating, syphilitic form to describe the detached ramblings of Maureen Dowd (here, in Sunday’s … Continue reading →

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Mailbag – Sport Shorts

The Gormogons Posted on May 23, 2012 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Operative FJR writes in: I loved the way Lil Resident and Lady Jaye worked out their differences and there wasn’t any major adult intervention. The adults served as reinforcement to appropriate behavior. It is nice to know that there are … Continue reading →

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Test of Fire

The Gormogons Posted on May 22, 2012 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Long-term Operative SC sends in a video to the Czar, with a request to share it with you all. You probably have already seen it, and for the most part, you made up your mind on this issue long before … Continue reading →

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Liberals and Conservatives: A Primer

The Gormogons Posted on May 14, 2012 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Although Oceania has always been at war with East Asia, it is interesting how little we understand each other. The Czar would prefer not to describe the generally petty differences between liberals and conservatives, for example, as war. But no … Continue reading →

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A Mother’s Love

The Gormogons Posted on May 13, 2012 by 'PuterApril 6, 2014

Good mothers love their children, much as theBlessed Virgin Mary loved Jesus “‘Puter’s got a face only a mother could love.” How many times have we heard this around the Castle?  The Gormogons can be, much like any family, a … Continue reading →

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Global Warming Is A Scam Used By Liberals To Justify Controlling Every Aspect Of Your Life

The Gormogons Posted on May 10, 2012 by 'PuterApril 6, 2014

Where the Hard Left seesa looming apocalypse, ‘Puter sees jobs Dr. James Hansen vomited a histrionic, hyperbolic and hysterical (in all senses) op-ed piece onto ‘Puter’s breakfast table this morning, via the self-anointed arbiter of all that is true (i.e., … Continue reading →

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Dear Mandarin…

The Gormogons Posted on May 7, 2012 by The MandarinApril 6, 2014

Your Mandarin received this communiqué from Operative JS: Dear Mandy Mandarin, I really liked your post on the Avengers, even if it did ruin the movie for me with no warning from you. I think the positive qualities you mentioned … Continue reading →

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Mailbag – Julia and More

The Gormogons Posted on May 7, 2012 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Operative DT writes regarding the Jedi Academy’s May Day charity event: Doctor Jota,   Why not unleash the massive army of Gormogon followers to help May? If we each donated a penny it’d still add up to Obama’s deficit!  Best,  … Continue reading →

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Mailbox- Garble Garble edition…

The Gormogons Posted on May 1, 2012 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Operative MS writes: Dear Dr. J., regarding the video you posted last week that can be found here.    It is a not very good 5-minute propaganda video. It makes not the message but the narrator the center of attention, … Continue reading →

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They’re Not Illegal Aliens, They’re Alternatively Present Noncitizens

The Gormogons Posted on April 26, 2012 by 'PuterApril 6, 2014

 Your Gormogons attempting to smuggle ‘Puter back into the U.S.  Dana Milbank of the ever-entertaining Washington Post provides evidence of what ‘Puter has long suspected: WaPo opinionators exist in an alternate reality, akin to Bizarro World. Mr. Milbank, … Continue reading →

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Quoth the Bard

The Gormogons Posted on April 25, 2012 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

And when today is dubbed by Mayor RahmA Day to Speak Like William Shakespeare thus,So all Chicago musters its aplombTo group its iambs into fives or plus. Perhaps a cabbie growls about the Bears,Or wonders if the Cubs will ever … Continue reading →

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Perspective, My Good Man!

The Gormogons Posted on April 24, 2012 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

In, not surprisingly, The Huffington Post, Richard (RJ) Eskow writes that the Left should brace itself for another round of hysteria from the right. Because here come those nutty conservatives, all crying about Medicare and Social Security running out of … Continue reading →

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Americans’ Faith In Institutions: Bad News for Liberals

The Gormogons Posted on April 23, 2012 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Your news media is at it again. Despite evidence showing the economy is in really bad shape, and possibly getting worse, they are reporting that things have never been hap-hap-happier. Recent stories make it very clear that Obama is polling … Continue reading →

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Thump Thump Thump

The Gormogons Posted on April 22, 2012 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

One of the truly awesome things about being in the Gormogons is the expansive sweep of centuries from which we draw our collections. Take the Dixieland Jug Blowers, who will entertain you with “Banjoreno.” Curtis knew some of the dirtiest … Continue reading →

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Gormogonicon ’12

The Gormogons Posted on April 21, 2012 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

As many of you know, most of the Gormogons got together this past Wednesday to catch up, speak off the record, and basically plot your total destruction. And what fun we had! Hundreds of famous celebrities, some living, some dead, … Continue reading →

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Mailbag – More Anime

The Gormogons Posted on April 6, 2012 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Nightfly writes: Dear Darth Doctor:  Yamato is a worthy vessel indeed.  We modeled the Supersonic Rocket Ship on her basic design, after an early prototype based on G-Force’s Phoenix ran into operation problems. (Far too much Fiery, not quite enough … Continue reading →

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Mailbag – Harvardastic edition

The Gormogons Posted on March 14, 2012 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

JAB writes in from the Doublewide: Dear Mr. Dr. J.:  Sorry for my cranky rant about your erstwhile buddy Mittens. It wasn’t that I drank too much weird tea, I was just temporarily put into a fit of peek by … Continue reading →

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Voter Photer, not Voter Moter

The Gormogons Posted on March 13, 2012 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Dr. J. voted on Super Tuesday, last week. He regaled you with his parking experience, this week he is going to regale you with his voting experience. You see, in Tennessee, you have to present your photo ID to voting … Continue reading →

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Mailbag – Ag. State Mail

The Gormogons Posted on March 6, 2012 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Dr. J. received this missive from his friend Scott O. at @gscottoliver on twitter and http://thoughtsfromthecorneroffice.blogspot.com/. We highly recommend that you read him everyday.He writes: Your Medicusship,  Regarding The Pancetta Menace: How logical of you to assert that something that is … Continue reading →

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Four Simple Points

The Gormogons Posted on February 11, 2012 by GorTApril 6, 2014

1.  Right, cue up option 2 and maybe option 3 from here 2.  It’s not about contraception.  It’s not about how many Catholics use it or not.  If you haven’t read the various posts here and understood this point, you … Continue reading →

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Whalebag, part two

The Gormogons Posted on January 16, 2012 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 6, 2014

It should be noted that it’s believed our cetacean friends have a collateral relation that still walks on land: the hippo. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153

Continue reading →
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Mailbag – Game Theory Edition

The Gormogons Posted on January 12, 2012 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Dr. J.’s posts regarding games captured the imaginations of some of our readers (and writers). Our first letter comes from the ever so kind Operative JS: Dear doctor doctor I’ve got a bad case of hemorrhaging you,  I, too, enjoy … Continue reading →

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The Emperor Has No Clothes: VDH style

The Gormogons Posted on December 22, 2011 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Victor David Hanson is one of Dr. J.’s favorite conservative columnists, primarily because of his ability present his arguments clearly, succinctly, but with a touch of verbal flair not seen in many columnists. He is like a conservative George Will … Continue reading →

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Mailbag – East Coast/West Coast, YO!

The Gormogons Posted on December 16, 2011 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

The first letter in today’s mailbag comes from Operative ME somewhere vaguely near the Four Corners: Dr. J.,  As someone who grew up in New Jersey before escaping to Arizona, I found your description of the cultural landscape of New … Continue reading →

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Mailbag – Cunning Linguist edition

The Gormogons Posted on December 14, 2011 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

The mailbag is gets pretty full this time of year. Part of leading a worldwide conspiracy is that operatives, minions, lackeys, cronies and flunkies send us Christmas Cards, tribute and coordinates for Mandy to target with various and sundry orbiting … Continue reading →

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Mailbag – Do you know what I know…

The Gormogons Posted on December 8, 2011 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

There is just a ton of mail that comes in at Christmas Time. While many of it is checks for our Feed the TchoTcho Fund™, some of it is fan mail for your Gormogons, including for yours truly. Our first … Continue reading →

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Mailbag – Naughty and Nice edition…

The Gormogons Posted on December 6, 2011 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Gentle Readers, Today’s song selection, You’re a mean one, Mr. Grinch,  caused a bit of a dust up with some of our fans. Dr. J. didn’t post the original because it’s mashed together with narration in between. He went with the … Continue reading →

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A Boot In The Groin…

The Gormogons Posted on December 4, 2011 by The MandarinApril 6, 2014

Seeing as how it is the Christmas season, your Mandarin is in the giving mood, and based on the actions of the Boston Public Schools, he would like to send them a special Yuletide themed Boot in the Gut. It … Continue reading →

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An Interview With A Very Drunk Vincent Clements Jeffords

The Gormogons Posted on December 2, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

The Czar: What advice would you give the Obama adminstration on stimulating job growth and, assuming there is a relation, bringing down the unemployment rate in an election year? Jeffords: You know what? You think that Kwiatkowski, or Dennis Whash-his-name … Continue reading →

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Mailbag – Little Fish, little fish, swimming in the water edition

The Gormogons Posted on November 29, 2011 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Dr. J. is finally getting around to answering his mail.The first one is from Operative SM, who sends this missive in to us: Dear Dr. J,Good God; inevitable and awful. US man sues over girlfriend’s theft of spermSincerely, SMP.S. – [per a … Continue reading →

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Signs and Portents…

The Gormogons Posted on November 28, 2011 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Dr. J. would like to start off thanking The Czar for watering the plants and letting the fell beasts out for their daily constitutionals at the Castle over the 5 day weekend so that Dr. J. and the other Gormogons … Continue reading →

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Trapped!

The Gormogons Posted on November 7, 2011 by GorTApril 6, 2014

GorT got the following piece of mail and I’ve been too busy to post on it until now.  Unfortunately, GorT misread some units on information about the LFTR technology and DJ MC Nuke caught it: RE: http://3.14.242.153/2011/11/road-not-taken.htmla thorium fueled liquid … Continue reading →

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Highly Skeptical

The Gormogons Posted on November 2, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

The Czar is loathe to cast judgment without more facts, but come on. Really? At least she admits it’s all about “adequate [financial] support.” The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The … Continue reading →

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Mailbag: Doh! Edition

The Gormogons Posted on October 25, 2011 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

The Royal Mathematician writes in: Baklava is a tasty honey-based pastry, Balaklava is the location of the battle of “Light Brigade” fame…  –Dr. (KN)J, Royal Mathematician to the Gormogons, Afficionado of both Baklava and Balaklava One is a Greek PastryThe … Continue reading →

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Occupy Dune

The Gormogons Posted on October 19, 2011 by GorTApril 6, 2014

From George Takei’s Facebook page GorTGorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal expensive technology from the future and return it to the past for retroinvention. The profits from this pay all the Gormogons’ … Continue reading →

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Steve Jobs – 1955 to 2011

The Gormogons Posted on October 6, 2011 by The MandarinApril 6, 2014

From the Apple website: Apple has lost a visionary and creative genius, and the world has lost an amazing human being. Those of us who have been fortunate enough to know and work with Steve have lost a dear friend … Continue reading →

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Mail. And The Czar Is Getting Annoyed By Physics

The Gormogons Posted on September 24, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Mail mail mail mail. First, we understand that some Firefox users are seeing white patches on the sides of the site. Guess what? It is your fault, Firefox users. We recommend you upgrade to Thrace 13.2, which not only fixes … Continue reading →

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A Holiday Gift for Paul Krugman…

The Gormogons Posted on September 12, 2011 by The MandarinApril 6, 2014

Your Mandarin would like to announce the latest recipient of the coveted “Bootie” award. And the winner is New York Times columnist Paul Krugman for his latest opinionpiece regarding 9/11: Is it just me, or are the 9/11 commemorations oddly … Continue reading →

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Someone beat Dr. J. to the punch…(can Dr. J. say punch?)

The Gormogons Posted on September 6, 2011 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Gentle Readers, Dr. J. was packing the lunches for the lil med student and lil resident this morning when on Fox and Friends, it was announced that rocket scientist, neurosurgeon and DNC Chairwoman(womyn?, person?, persyn?) Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz was … Continue reading →

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5.9 Earthquake Near Richmond, VA

The Gormogons Posted on August 23, 2011 by GorTApril 6, 2014

Yes, the Gormogons felt the 5.9 Earthquake that was centered outside Richmond, VA.  No, it’s not distracting us from our regular Gormogon business. GorTGorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal expensive technology from … Continue reading →

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It’s Gonna Be Quiet in the Castle Tonight

The Gormogons Posted on August 6, 2011 by GorTApril 6, 2014

The Czar, Mandarin, ‘Puter and GorT and huddled around the 43.2’ dual-fusion plasma screen to watch Phineas & Ferb: Across the 2nd Dimension.  Hopefully, the Volgi will get back from the Hinterlands in time to join in.  If we’re not … Continue reading →

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Missionary Mail…

The Gormogons Posted on August 1, 2011 by The MandarinApril 6, 2014

Your Mandarin received this message from operative HRE who is currently stationed in the hinterlands… Dear Mr. Mandyrin, I read your post on the mission at your parish, and I have to agree with your analysis 100%. Unfortunately for the … Continue reading →

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It’s 2 AM, do you know where your resident is?

The Gormogons Posted on July 19, 2011 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

The answer is, probably in a strategically placed nap. Dr. J. hasn’t been terribly prolific since being inducted into the Gormogons. This is because he has been on assignment in the New Atlantis Ivory Tower Hospital (NAITH) for the last … Continue reading →

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A Rhino in Sheep’s Clothing

The Gormogons Posted on July 8, 2011 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Dr. J. loves to read. Consequently, Dr. J. loves bookstores. In New Atlantis, bookstores are going the way of the dinosaur. One can blame the Kindle/iPad or Amazon.com, or that we’re a fat and lazy population. Regardless, unless Dr. J. … Continue reading →

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Congratulations on a felicitious quadrennium to the estimable Dr. H. Albertus Boli, LL.D.

The Gormogons Posted on June 24, 2011 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 6, 2014

…on the fourth anniversary of his Celebrated Magazine from all of us at Castle Gormogon. We swear we intend to renew our subscription, but you wouldn’t believe the mess ’Puter made of the office last Candlemas when he mistook the … Continue reading →

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The Universe Is Winning

The Gormogons Posted on June 15, 2011 by GorTApril 6, 2014

With regards to programming is hard:  tough.  Look, some people are creative geniuses in art and music but there’s no great cry for paint-by-numbers so we can all be amateur Rembrandts.  Others have a gift of learning languages but as … Continue reading →

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A secret society dedicated to the restoration of the Kingdom of Poland-Lithuania, the imprisonment of Esperanto speakers, and furthering the eschatological doctrine of the Return from Occultation of the Thirteenth Imam, Val Kilmer. Seriously, what happened to that guy? He was awesome in Tombstone. ایمام سیزدهم

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