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The Gormogons

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Defense bloodletting continues

The Gormogons Posted on March 27, 2014 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 6, 2014

President Barack Obama is seeking to abolish two highly successful missile programs that experts say have helped the U.S. Navy maintain military superiority for the past several decades. The Tomahawk missile program—known as “the world’s most advanced cruise missile”—is set to be cut by $128 … Continue reading →

Posted in Defense spending, Federal Budget, The Obama Amateur Hour, U.S. Navy

War, Antebellum

The Gormogons Posted on August 15, 2013 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

We received an interesting appendix on World War II by SW, who writes in with some historical sobriety—just how much we fought prior to Pearl Harbor: The US suffered combat casualties long before Pearl Harbor. The earliest was the USS … Continue reading →

Posted in Mailbag, U.S. Navy, World War II

Memorial Year

The Gormogons Posted on May 28, 2013 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Island Dweller condemns us all to a fiery future with today’s letter, which arrived yesterday but we were too busy being busy: Your majesty: Today is (legally) Memorial Day. I have not as yet seen any postings on your site … Continue reading →

Posted in Borepatch, Holidays, Island Dweller, Mailbag, Memorial Day, U.S. Army, U.S. Navy, United States Air Force, United States Marine Corps

Ron Paul Self-Destructs At Last

The Gormogons Posted on February 5, 2013 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

One of the best comments about Ron Paul was sent to us some time ago by Bluesun, who forwarded us a comment that Ron Paul was a broken clock who was right 23 hours a day. The Ron Paul clock … Continue reading →

Posted in Anti-American, Hippies…they say they want to save the world but all they do is smoke pot and smell bad, Military, Ron Paul, Stupid Politicians, U.S. Navy, Un-american

Guest Post: Island Dweller on China and Japan

The Gormogons Posted on November 8, 2012 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

The Czar is still so irate and humorless with the electorate that he is perfectly willing to yield the floor. Today’s essay has been contributed by long-time minion Island Dweller. The Czar always expected Japan would need to expand beyond … Continue reading →

Posted in Barack Obama, China, Guest Writer, Imperial Japanese Navy, Iran, Island Dweller, Japan, O tempora O mores, U.S. Navy

Cold War Mission Declassified

The Gormogons Posted on August 24, 2012 by GorTApril 6, 2014

The CIA recently declassified (note to the Obama Administration – this is when you can actually talk and discuss sensitive national security secrets, not while they are still classified. See 18 USC § 798 – Disclosure of Classified Information) information … Continue reading →

Posted in CIA, National Security, Satellite Technology, Spying, U.S. Navy

When DADT Was In Vogue

The Gormogons Posted on August 2, 2012 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Remember those days? The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon … Continue reading →

Posted in Future, Please Don't Write In, Time keeps on slippin into the future, U.S. Navy

Excellently Done

The Gormogons Posted on December 1, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

This is a little late for Veterans’s Day, but the Czar’s dad sent this to him a while ago and he just got around to it. Anyway, he and the Czar defy you to be unimpressed with this WV salute … Continue reading →

Posted in College, College Athletes, Military, U.S. Army, U.S. Coast Guard, U.S. Navy, United States Air Force, United States Marine Corps, Veterans’ Affairs, West Virginia

This Movie Really Sucks

The Gormogons Posted on July 30, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

The offensively accurate Brendan at Tyler Durden shares something in common with the Czar: a total loathing for celebrities, coupled with Hollywood’s inexplicable idolatry for people who couldn’t figure out where the Panama Canal was located. Most of his stuff, … Continue reading →

Posted in Movies, This movie really sucks, U.S. Navy

Do We Know Too Much About the Bin-Lâdin Raid?

The Gormogons Posted on May 8, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

DT writes in to say: Oh Czar, Destroyer of Worlds: I won’t miss Osama a bit, and am pleased that he’s now fellating Satan on a full-time basis. However, I can’t stop asking myself Why? Why was the order to … Continue reading →

Posted in Mailbag, Osama bin-Laden, Special Forces, U.S. Navy

Exclusive: Mission Op Photos

The Gormogons Posted on May 3, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

Well, the Czar’s okhrana was able to obtain mission pictures that neither the Press nor the White House want to show you. Here they are, along with the comments we received. So like, here’s the guys on the team just … Continue reading →

Posted in Blackhawks, Military, U.S. Navy

Bin-Lâdin, Fucking Dead.

The Gormogons Posted on May 2, 2011 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 7, 2014

So, here’s some reaction: this is potentially a propaganda coup of the first order. Operationally, it may or may not be meaningful. Remember, as we’ve mentioned, part of the reason our enemies in this war are so fanatical is that … Continue reading →

Posted in al-Qâ’ida, Diplomacy, Evil, Islamic Terror, Jihad, Osama bin-Laden, People Who Need Killin', U.S. Navy

Looks like the Mandarin got that Navy contract after all

The Gormogons Posted on April 15, 2011 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 7, 2014

The Navy for the first time last week successfully tested a solid-state high-energy laser from a ship. The beam, which was aimed at a boat moving through turbulent Pacific Ocean waters, set the target’s engine on fire.The Office of Naval … Continue reading →

Posted in Cool Weapons, Lasers, Miracles and wonders, U.S. Navy

They Might Have Known Better

The Gormogons Posted on February 22, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

Common sense requires a balance. The Mandarin and the Czar were speaking this morning about the disturbing story of four American missionaries executed by Somali pirates during a counterattack by the Navy. We are, naturally, angered by the story and … Continue reading →

Posted in Navigation skills, Piracy, Pirates, U.S. Navy

China conducting a massive naval buildup?

The Gormogons Posted on September 26, 2010 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 7, 2014

Well, it’s no surprise to you Gormogons operatives. Maybe others are starting to pay attention. The greatest geopolitical development that has occurred largely beneath the radar of our Middle East-focused media over the past decade has been the rise of … Continue reading →

Posted in China, Defense spending, U.S. Navy

Mark Helprin: Are we staggering into disaster in the Pacific?

The Gormogons Posted on August 18, 2010 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 7, 2014

Lurking about the presidency in the guise of secretary of state, America’s chief diplomat has embarked upon a mistake that someday may rival Dean Acheson’s exclusion of Korea from the Pacific defense area, or April Glaspie’s muddled words to Saddam … Continue reading →

Posted in China, Diplomacy, F-22, Hillary Clinton, Mark Helprin, U.S. Navy, USAF

MUST READ: Bob Gates, “re-hollowing the military”

The Gormogons Posted on August 17, 2010 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 7, 2014

Here’s a couple tiny excerpts, but you need to read Arthur Herman’s piece in the upcoming Commentary. Twice. Not just because it jibes extensively with Confucius’s* thoughts on the American military. Seriously. Make time. Print it out. Whatever it takes. … Continue reading →

Posted in Appearance of Weakness, China, Defense spending, Department of Defense, F-22, F-35, Missile defense, Nukes, Robert Gates, U.S. Army, U.S. Navy, United States Marine Corps, USAF

Nature abhors a vacuum, and so does the 中国人民解放军海军 (PLA Navy)

The Gormogons Posted on August 12, 2010 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 7, 2014

Nations don’t change their naval postures because they are content with the status quo. Nor are the world’s other navies focused on building smaller, less-capable warships for low-lethality tasks like combating piracy. The U.S. Navy’s retreat from the high seas … Continue reading →

Posted in Appalachian Proverbs, China, Defense spending, U.S. Navy

Briny Depths

The Gormogons Posted on July 29, 2010 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

Dearest Czar, Since you so recently debunked all I knew regarding West Virginia and her educational system, I thought you might have knowledge of another dearly-held area: the ocean. Many people state that we have only explored “5% of the … Continue reading →

Posted in Oceans, Science, U.S. Navy

The Gormogons remember the dead.

The Gormogons Posted on May 31, 2010 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 7, 2014

Nonetheless, a universal connection links every living American with those who have fallen or will fall in American wars and overrides the lapses in sustaining and honoring their memories. We are and shall be connected to them by debt and … Continue reading →

Posted in Memorial Day, U.S. Army, U.S. Coast Guard, U.S. Navy, United States Marine Corps, USAF

And Since Massa’s A Navy Man …

The Gormogons Posted on March 5, 2010 by 'PuterMarch 5, 2010

‘Puter would like to state that drag racing naval warfare surface vessels is immature, irresponsible and dangerous. ‘Puter agrees that the Capt. Holly Graf of the U.S.S. Cowpens deserved to be removed from her posting, for this and the other … Continue reading →

Posted in U.S. Navy

Facts To Ruin A Hippie’s Day

The Gormogons Posted on January 14, 2010 by 'PuterJanuary 14, 2010

As Gormogon readers know, hippies can be counted on for four things: (1) access to high quality weed; (b) reeking of patchouli; (q) hairy women; and (7) hating on the military. ‘Puter offers for your edification some facts whith which … Continue reading →

Posted in Barack Obama, Haiti, Hippies…they say they want to save the world but all they do is smoke pot and smell bad, U.S. Army, U.S. Coast Guard, U.S. Navy, United States Marine Corps

The Chinese have tested an ABM system

The Gormogons Posted on January 12, 2010 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.January 12, 2010

Oh, goody. J.E. Dyer over at Commentary notes, in a post puckishly called “Game On” that China’s successfully tested an anti-ballistic-missile system. This is interesting, because as your Volgi has been writing for some time, China’s military strategy seems to … Continue reading →

Posted in China, Defense spending, Missile defense, U.S. Navy

Sleep well, kiddies.

The Gormogons Posted on September 25, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.September 25, 2009

China has made no secret of their desire to knock us out of their rightful sphere of influence. Read this outstanding article by Dan Blumenthal — China’s staggering boost in military hardware and technology isn’t gear that’s limited to a … Continue reading →

Posted in China, Military, U.S. Navy

World War Two…in high definition?!

The Gormogons Posted on July 31, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.July 31, 2009

Because it’s not awesome and terrible (in the original senses) already? Dear God, though, if you can watch this without getting chills up your spine, your affairs had better be in order, because, you know, you’re dead. Via Warming Glow. … Continue reading →

Posted in Adolph Hitler, Hiroshima and Nagasaki, This TV show really sucks, U.S. Army, U.S. Navy, World War II

Adm. Lehman on defence procurement

The Gormogons Posted on July 18, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.July 18, 2009

Why is it so expensive for the Pentagon to buy stuff? I can’t even summarize. Notice the similarities to GorT talking about his Wang. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153

Continue reading →
Posted in Department of Defense, Government spending, Gubbamint, U.S. Army, U.S. Navy, United States Marine Corps, USAF

In duh..Navy

The Gormogons Posted on July 13, 2009 by The MandarinJuly 13, 2009

Your Mandarin is old enough to remember when it was an honor and a privilege for the best and brightest students to be awarded an appointment to one of our nation’s military academies. Upon graduation these young men and women … Continue reading →

Posted in Education, Racism, Teacher Unions, U.S. Navy

Navy Showdown?

The Gormogons Posted on June 19, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyJune 19, 2009

FoxNews just went with this story, which the Czar does not see on other news feeds yet, that the dramatically-named USS John McCain is closing in on a North Korean ship believed to be moving weapon material around. The destroyer, … Continue reading →

Posted in China, North Korea, U.S. Navy, USS John McCain

Cloaking device…

The Gormogons Posted on June 1, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.June 1, 2009

…activated! I’m assuming whole flotillas of white-clad naval officers are descending upon Champaign to talk to Dr. Fang about this technology. Hope he gets a big, fat royalty if this ends up being the Navy’s hull of the future. Confucius, … Continue reading →

Posted in Cool Weapons, Technology, U.S. Navy

China building up its navy

The Gormogons Posted on April 17, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 17, 2009

Couldn’t be any more upfront. We’ve told you so. And the U.S. Navy continues to shrink. Anchors away? Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153

Continue reading →
Posted in China, U.S. Navy

Second Amendment = Great First Officer [Updated]

The Gormogons Posted on April 14, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 14, 2009

The Czar, of course, is glad that the US Navy reads the Gormogons, and brilliantly rescued the Maersk captain, offing three bad guys and capturing a stunned fourth pirate. Nice job, ladies and gentlemen! By the way, we got the … Continue reading →

Posted in Guns, Piracy, Pirates, U.S. Navy

Chinese force projection

The Gormogons Posted on March 24, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.March 24, 2009

Looks like they want to expand out into the Pacific. I wonder what Minister Hamada and the rest of the Japanese government thought of that… Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153

Continue reading →
Posted in China, Japan, Military, Taiwan, U.S. Navy

Hainan II

The Gormogons Posted on March 11, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyMarch 11, 2009

China seems to have developed a tradition in which she welcomes a new US president by trying to provoke a military incident with the United States. The first President Bush had to address the June 1989 Tiananmen massacre, which severely … Continue reading →

Posted in Barack Obama, China, U.S. Navy

More Dubya mistakes

The Gormogons Posted on January 28, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.January 28, 2009

From the Weekly Standard. A total lack of a North Korea policy. Neglect of the navy in the face of a Chinese build-up. (Aircraft carriers are pure force-projection platforms—there’s nothing defensive about them.) One does worry about relative foreign-policy tyros … Continue reading →

Posted in China, Diplomacy, Dubya, North Korea, U.S. Navy

Required reading: National defense.

The Gormogons Posted on December 24, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.December 24, 2008

Stuart Koehl & Martin Feldstein. Sorry for the light posting. Your Volgi is beat and running around like a madman due to various family obligations. But you need to read these items. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that … Continue reading →

Posted in China, Defense spending, Economic policy, Russia, U.S. Army, U.S. Navy, United States Marine Corps, USAF

Losing Japan?

The Gormogons Posted on November 3, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.November 3, 2008

Someone send some generals and diplomats to Tokyo ASAP, please?! Will America abandon long-term ally Japan? Unfortunately, Washington’s most important alliance in Asia is in jeopardy. “Many Japanese analysts and commentators have worried that the United States is losing interest … Continue reading →

Posted in China, Japan, U.S. Navy

Very interesting piece…

The Gormogons Posted on October 18, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.October 18, 2008

…on Iran’s asymmetric-naval-warfare doctrine for kicking us out of the Persian Gulf. Click through to the monograph for depth, but Kaplan’s piece is very good. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153

Continue reading →
Posted in Iran, U.S. Navy, War

Iran’s capabilities in the Gulf…

The Gormogons Posted on September 10, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.September 10, 2008

…look increasingly formidable. But, not to worry, we’ve been spending healthily to keep the U.S. Navy’s surface fleet combat ready, right? Oh, never mind. (We’re down to, what, a 281-ship fleet from 587?) Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like … Continue reading →

Posted in Iran, U.S. Navy

Interesting times for Turkey-watchers

The Gormogons Posted on August 29, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 29, 2008

These days. My own sense is that, however vivid Turkish anti-Americanism is at the moment, serious Turks understand that it’s a whim they can indulge only in the absence of external threats. And for all Turkey’s dependence on Russian natural … Continue reading →

Posted in Georgia (Sakartvelo), NATO, Russia, Turkey, U.S. Navy

And meanwhile on the Black Sea…

The Gormogons Posted on August 27, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 27, 2008

…the Russians say, “Bah, we are not intimidated by your puny warships. Behold our making-stuff-blow-up skills!“ Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153

Continue reading →
Posted in Georgia (Sakartvelo), Poland, Russia, Turkey, U.S. Navy, Ukraine

But we no longer need a substantial surface fleet, right?

The Gormogons Posted on August 21, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 21, 2008

Right? Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153

Continue reading →
Posted in Georgia (Sakartvelo), Israel, Russia, Syria, U.S. Navy

Atomic Dog? What about an Atomic Bear?

The Gormogons Posted on August 21, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 21, 2008

So, Russia’s got a substantially larger inventory of tactical nukes than we, and have been increasingly cavalier about brandishing them. That can’t be good. Gabriel Schoenfeld writes fairly persuasively on the topic in today’s WSJ: Yet matters are very different … Continue reading →

Posted in F-22, NATO, Nukes, Ronald Reagan, Russia, U.S. Navy

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A secret society dedicated to the restoration of the Kingdom of Poland-Lithuania, the imprisonment of Esperanto speakers, and furthering the eschatological doctrine of the Return from Occultation of the Thirteenth Imam, Val Kilmer. Seriously, what happened to that guy? He was awesome in Tombstone. ایمام سیزدهم

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