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Castle Memo

The Gormogons Posted on March 9, 2015 by GorTMarch 9, 2015

From:  GorT To:  Gormogons Cc:  Sleestak, Prince Tochmas, Grand Mogul, Inetef-Te-Henqet, 2-IB, Yeto, Barry, and various Minions, and that Dat Ho kid Subject: Castle Gormogon Official Time This is to officially remind the Castle dwellers that we do not recognize … Continue reading →

Posted in Gormogon Infighting, GorT, GorTechie's Time Travel Adventures

OMG lolz #Winning

The Gormogons Posted on January 26, 2015 by GorTJanuary 26, 2015

I am steadily growing more worried about the future of the Generation Y (Millennials) and Generation Z (Boomlets) – specifically that their future might really look like the world presented in the movie “Her”* Have you watched a member of … Continue reading →

Posted in GorT, Millenials

Automated Mailbag

The Gormogons Posted on July 17, 2014 by GorTJuly 17, 2014

GorT got this delivered via the autonomous mail delivery system we have here at the Castle…mostly because the denizens of the moat don’t play nice with our regular postal carrier. We love our postal carriers, but it’s pretty hard to … Continue reading →

Posted in GorT, Mailbag

What Are You Doing With Your Life?

The Gormogons Posted on April 22, 2014 by GorTApril 22, 2014

GorT’s eldest is a junior in high school and therefore we are knee-deep in the college search process including the SAT and ACT, picking a college, road trips to rule out (or in) various universities and the whole financial planning … Continue reading →

Posted in College, Education, GorT

But This One Goes to 1@!#EELEVENTY!@!

The Gormogons Posted on April 10, 2014 by GorTApril 10, 2014

The Czar and Volgi were kicking around in the Castle Rumpus room late last week and decided that they’d do some sprucing up of the place.  Their first target?  The website.  After hours and hours of beating their heads against … Continue reading →

Posted in Google, Gormogonica, Gormogons, GorT

Re: Re: Cosmos

The Gormogons Posted on April 1, 2014 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Dr. J. wrote The Czar earlier today: Dear The Czar,  You pretty much nailed my issues with the show. Sagan’s show was a series of self-contained episodes. Each one had a logical flow and a beginning and an end.  Sagan … Continue reading →

Posted in Cosmos, GorT, The Czar

Dr. J. Reflects on the Opening Ceremonies

The Gormogons Posted on February 9, 2014 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Flame on! Gentle Readers, As you know, Dr. J. is the Olympics aficionado of the group. He would have posted this sooner, but he watched the Opening Ceremonies DVR’d as it was Senior Night for the Bene Gesserit Witches basketball … Continue reading →

Posted in 'Puter, Dr. J. Style, GorT, This Olympics Really Sucks

Player One…..Begin!

The Gormogons Posted on February 7, 2014 by GorTApril 6, 2014

A cor-worker of GorT sent this link along.  Pretty darn funny.  Click the image to continue… GorTGorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal expensive technology from the future and return it to the … Continue reading →

Posted in GorT

Re: STEM and Slackers

The Gormogons Posted on February 5, 2014 by GorTApril 6, 2014

During today’s newsfeed review, GorT came across this tidbit in the Washington Post’s Business section: Armed with a meaningless bachelor’s degree from colleges and universities that allowed majors in non-core subjects, we see youngsters who cannot write, research or think … Continue reading →

Posted in GorT, Millenials, Time Wasting

Encouraging STEM

The Gormogons Posted on February 4, 2014 by GorTApril 6, 2014

GorT spoke at his son’s school’s Career Day last week.  After years of hiring (or trying) people in the computer science field and getting quite a broad set of experiences dealing with them, GorT had enough and decided that there … Continue reading →

Posted in Education, GorT, Math class is hard, way too much technology, Women

Your Gormogons Review the SOTU

The Gormogons Posted on January 29, 2014 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Did you catch the State of the Union last night? We didn’t! The truth is that your Gormogons found far better things to do with our Tuesday evening. The Volgi: I watched the Caps-Sabres game. ’Puter considers nothing sweeter than … Continue reading →

Posted in 'Puter, Dr. J., Gallows Humor, Gormogon Infighting, GorT, Hockey, SOTU, State of the Union, The Czar, The Mandarin, The Obama Amateur Hour, Volgi

The Future Is So Bright, I’m Wearing Clear Bifocals

The Gormogons Posted on January 15, 2014 by GorTApril 6, 2014

GorT’s company is hiring.  We’re a small company and the founders are ruing the day when they have to make the decision to hire employee #50 with all the federal mandates that come with that. As part of this hiring, … Continue reading →

Posted in Education, GorT, Slackers, STEM, way too much technology

Keeping This Going

The Gormogons Posted on December 24, 2013 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Click to make bigger. As if you need to make an eight-foot-tall robot bigger. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, … Continue reading →

Posted in #pajamaboy, GorT, Merry Christmas, ObamaCare, Stupidity, The Obama Amateur Hour, Twitter

A Quartet of Letters

The Gormogons Posted on December 16, 2013 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

The Czar, as usual, picked up a lot of interesting mail over the weekend. Mark Spahn, he of West Seneca, New York, submitted a clever idea about using text-to-speech applications as an inexpensive and highly effective way to proofread materials … Continue reading →

Posted in Billy Jack, Boehner Amateur Hour, Communism, Communist Sympathizers, GorT, Gun control, John Boehner, Mailbag, Multiple-Victim Public Shootings, Requiescat in pace

Castle Throwdown

The Gormogons Posted on December 8, 2013 by GorTApril 6, 2014

Every once in a while a topic comes up that places your Gormogons on differing sides of Castle.  However, GorT feels he needs to clear the air regarding the metric system.  This post originally was longer but after the Czar … Continue reading →

Posted in Gormogon Infighting, GorT, Scientific Measures, Volgi

Another 2.65cm of Commentary

The Gormogons Posted on December 8, 2013 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Well, we Gormogons love infighting. Watching the playful shoving match between Dr. J., GorT, and Volgi over the metric system is a strong reminder to you readers that we Castle men do not march in lockstep. Each of the Czar’s … Continue reading →

Posted in Dr. J., Gormogon Infighting, GorT, Metric is Esperanto, Volgi, Volgi (pronounced Volgi)

America’s Pasttime in 27.432 Meter Increments

The Gormogons Posted on December 5, 2013 by GorTApril 6, 2014

GorT’s recent post elicited some interesting responses. First BG writes in regarding flopping and various sports: So basketball and football are better than soccer because the NBA and the NFL are taking steps to deal with the curse of “flopping,” … Continue reading →

Posted in GorT, Imperial Measurements, Mailbag, Math class is hard, Soccer, Talkin' Baseball, Units of Measure

The Whole 10 Yards

The Gormogons Posted on December 4, 2013 by GorTApril 6, 2014

No, the metric system doesn’t go to 11. While GorT will grant Dr. J the evil that is (was) Esperanto, GorT will take a bit of umbrage with his poke at soccer and the metric system.  GorT is an engineer … Continue reading →

Posted in Dr. J., Gormogon Infighting, GorT, Units of Measure

The Great Gormogon Turkey Challenge

The Gormogons Posted on November 27, 2013 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Today, thanks to time travel, we were able to hold our First Annual Turkey Contest yesterday. And the results were about what you would expect. As you know, all of us Gormogons are superlative cooks in at least one area … Continue reading →

Posted in 'Puter, Castle Gormogon, Dr. J., Gormogonica, Gormogons, GorT, Thanksgiving, The Czar of Muscovy, The Inscrutable Mandarin, Turkey, Volgi, Volgi (pronounced Volgi)

An Olive Branch for GorT

The Gormogons Posted on November 18, 2013 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

A compromise, in the name of peace and sanity, ending the rift between between the Pi’sts and the Tau’ists, the later group includes GorT: From xkcd: Conveniently approximated as e+2, Pau is also known as the Devil’s Ratio (because in … Continue reading →

Posted in GorT, Math class is hard, Pau, Pi, Tau, xkcd

What We Read

The Gormogons Posted on October 18, 2013 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

The other day, we all received one of the best question we have ever received. The Czar makes this claim because all six of us were quite excited by the nature of the question: To the Gracious, Learned, Infallible, and … Continue reading →

Posted in 'Puter, Dr. J., Gormogon Operatives, GorT, Mailbag, Suck It Czar, The Czar of Muscovy, The Inscrutable Mandarin, Volgi, Volgi (pronounced Volgi)

A Day In The Life Of ‘Puter: Trolling Liberals on Facebook

The Gormogons Posted on October 4, 2013 by 'PuterApril 6, 2014

Gov. Scott Walker masterfully trolled Wisconsin’s hyper- sensitive Dane County liberal denizens, enraging theseeconomically illiterate “educators,” and benefiting the state’staxpayers simultaneously. Masterfully done, Gov. Walker. To be fair to ‘Puter’s self, he really didn’t set out to troll his liberal … Continue reading →

Posted in 'Puter's Always Right, Democrats, Facebook, Family, Friends, GorT, Liberals, Republicans

Your Guide to the Shutdown

The Gormogons Posted on October 1, 2013 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Conservatives like you tend to understand little of any substance, and as a result, you may be confused over why this shutdown is such a terrible thing. In your ignorance, you blissfully think that that life goes on without the … Continue reading →

Posted in 'Puter, Big Government, GorT, Government spending, Liberal Idiots

‘Puter’s iPhone Playlist: Into the Deranged Mind of ‘Puter

The Gormogons Posted on September 9, 2013 by 'PuterApril 6, 2014

Bob Dylan (a/k/a Robert Zimmerman) is one of ‘Puter’s favorite artists. Also, Mr. Dylan, a Minnesotan Jew by birth, would write much better liturgical music than either OCP or the St. Louis Jesuits ‘Puter digs him some music, music of … Continue reading →

Posted in 'Puter, Gormogonica, GorT, Minions, Music, Roman Catholics, The Czar

That’s the last time we let Volgi tip…

The Gormogons Posted on September 2, 2013 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Nothing says good tipper like a monolith dedicated to an ancient evil…  Operative RKB wrote again to Dr. J. and Borepatch. It seems someone has claimed part of Oklahoma for the Old Gods: Yes, yes, that was us. You see, … Continue reading →

Posted in Borepatch, Gormogon Operatives, Gormogon Summer Vacation, Gormogonica, GorT, Iä Iä Great Cthulhu, The Czar, Volgi

What Do You Want?

The Gormogons Posted on August 29, 2013 by GorTApril 6, 2014

We tried a castle-mother for a few weeks…now it’s all Dat Ho GorT has been up to his eyeballs in a variety of things – mostly work and helping the family get back into the swing of school and fall … Continue reading →

Posted in GorT, Technology

The Gormogon’s Summer Vacation – Introduction*

The Gormogons Posted on August 13, 2013 by GorTApril 6, 2014

Like much of America, the Gormogons vacation as well.  Sometimes it’s on our own with our own families and a number of us have posted assorted accounts for your amusement and edification.  First a little background to orient our dear … Continue reading →

Posted in 'Puter, Dat Ho, Dr. J., Gormogon Summer Vacation, Gormogonica, GorT, Sleestak, The Czar, The Mandarin, Volgi

Smoking Ribs, ‘Puter Style

The Gormogons Posted on August 7, 2013 by 'PuterApril 6, 2014

Not that kind of meat smoking, not that there’s anything wrong with that. Since both Czar and GorT have shared their secrets for smoking ribs with you, our beloved readers, ‘Puter thought he’d share his secrets as well. Czar and … Continue reading →

Posted in 'Puter, Castle Gormogon, Food, Gormogon Infighting, GorT, The Czar

Re: Smoking Ribs

The Gormogons Posted on August 6, 2013 by GorTApril 6, 2014

GorT enjoyed the Czar’s post on smoking ribs but has a few differences in his own method that GorT thought to take a minute during his 2-week vacation to write about it (plus, the rest of the family is sleeping … Continue reading →

Posted in Castle Gormogon, cooking, GorT, The Czar

G5 – Happy 5th Blogiversary – The Blogiversary Fairy Came!

The Gormogons Posted on July 24, 2013 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

That won’t cause nightmares! She’s really nice in person! Gentle Readers, Thank you for celebrating our fifth blogiversary with us. This morning, when we awoke, we found six neatly wrapped presents from the Blogiversary Fairy™. The Blogiversary Fairy is a … Continue reading →

Posted in 'Puter, Dr. J., Gormogons Anniversary, GorT, The Czar of Muscovy, The Inscrutable Mandarin, Volgi

G5 – Happy 5th Blogiversary

The Gormogons Posted on July 24, 2013 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Something special for our 5th anniversary? How about a picture we have not uploaded before? Here you are! This is us on the National Mall—see the Lincoln Memorial?—we took back in 1994. From left, there’s Sleestak, Ghettoputer F.X. Gormogon, GorTechie … Continue reading →

Posted in 'Puter, Castle Gormogon, Dr. J., Gormogonica, Gormogons, Gormogons Anniversary, GorT, The Czar of Muscovy, The Inscrutable Mandarin, Volgi

Round up these clowns

The Gormogons Posted on July 19, 2013 by GorTApril 6, 2014

Hold on to the handrails, folks, GorT is fired up.  It’s been one of those weeks.  You know the ones – craptastic service from Comcast at GorT’s place of business causing us to be without internet access for almost 2 … Continue reading →

Posted in Chris Matthews, Corruption, GorT, HHS Mandate, Liberal Idiots, Technology, The Obama Amateur Hour

G5 – Best of the Gormogons – Dr. J. – A Tale of Two Abortions

The Gormogons Posted on July 18, 2013 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Dr. J. would like to thank the readers for indulging him a runner-up. What started out as a parenthetical evolved into a post. Such is the joy that is blogging. Dr. J.’s favorite post also happened to resonate with a … Continue reading →

Posted in Abortion, Adam Baldwin, Best of the Gormogons, Gormogons Anniversary, GorT, Lego, Medical Ethics, Repentance, Research

Luddite President

The Gormogons Posted on July 5, 2013 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Insert images of sad puppies in the sweltering heat of teh globul warmyngzes! The Czar and GorT have called a spade a spade with regard to the willful ignorance of liberals when it comes to science. Dr. J. had to … Continue reading →

Posted in Big Environment, Charles Krauthammer, EPA, GorT, Phoney Science, The Czar, The Obama Amateur Hour

I Can Haz #Metadatasez?

The Gormogons Posted on June 27, 2013 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

MLP – Nerdy or Geeky? At the beginning of the month, GorT in true GorTastic style wrote a terrific post on geeks and nerds using the six of us as foils to make his point. Indeed he pretty much had … Continue reading →

Posted in Data, Dr. J., Geeks, GorT, Math class is hard, Nerds

Volgi left us the keys to the Sanctum Sanctorum

The Gormogons Posted on June 24, 2013 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Dr. J. received this inter-castle memo over the weekend from Confucius ( 孔夫子), the Œcumenical Volgi (The Notorious ŒV): To: GorT, Ghettoputer, The Czar of Muscovy, The Inscrutable Mandarin, Dr. J.  From :孔夫子, the Œcumenical Volgi (The Notorious ŒV)  Re: … Continue reading →

Posted in 'Puter, Bronies, Castle Gormogon, Dr. J., Gormogon Infighting, GorT, My Little Pony, The Czar, The Inscrutable Mandarin, Turkey, Volgi

Father’s Day with your Gormogons

The Gormogons Posted on June 16, 2013 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Happy Fathers Day to all of our readers who are fathers or who have fathers! Let’s take a look around Castle Gormogon to see what the Fathers Day Fairy brought your Gormogon Overlords, Fathers to All, muah ha ha ha … Continue reading →

Posted in 'Puter, Bronies, Dr. J., Fathers Day, GorT, Green Lantern, Hello Kitty, Iä Iä Great Cthulhu, The Czar, The Mandarin, Volgi (pronounced Volgi)

Holiday weekend Gormogonica — GorT’s Sleazy Sixties

The Gormogons Posted on May 26, 2013 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 6, 2014

Very few of you likely know that our staid, dependable, eleven-foot, time-travelling robot, GorT, had a brief déclassé film career. Sure, you all know about his headliner role with Michael Rennie and Patricia Neal in The Day the Earth Stood … Continue reading →

Posted in Gormogonica, GorT, GorTechie's Time Travel Adventures, Hollywood, Pornography, The Gross ’60s, This movie really sucks

A Prescription for Dog Ownership

The Gormogons Posted on May 14, 2013 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

When Dr. J. was on the road last week, the latest AHA guidelines were published to great media fanfare. Indeed you, Gentle Reader, probably saw something in the news. Dr. J. decided to review the guidelines and share his reflections on … Continue reading →

Posted in 'Puter, Barry the Manticore, Cardiovascular Disease, Cholesterol, Dogs Are Better Than Cats, Dr. J., GorT, Health care, Hypertension, Mandarin, Mrs. Dr. J., Pets, Sally, The Czar of Muscovy, Volgi

Tech Tips

The Gormogons Posted on April 27, 2013 by GorTApril 6, 2014

I’m a frequent TED Talks watcher so I thought I’d pass along one that is near and dear to me.  I can’t tell you how many times I sit with someone and they don’t know some of these tips or … Continue reading →

Posted in 'Puter ain't always right, GorT, way too much technology

Email (The next taxable item in Maryland)

The Gormogons Posted on April 26, 2013 by GorTApril 6, 2014

Reader SMR wrote in last week in response to this post: To the Magnificent GorTechie: Those who strive to obtain the good graces of a robot are accustomed to come before him with such things as they hold most precious, … Continue reading →

Posted in Big Environment, GorT, Mailbag, Maryland, Taxes

Where Are We?

The Gormogons Posted on April 20, 2013 by GorTApril 6, 2014

By the title of this post you might think this entry is to document where GorT has been as his post count is lagging a bit.  Briefly, GorT has been crazy-busy at work logging 10% overtime on average for the … Continue reading →

Posted in GorT

Sunrise, sunset, sunrise, sunset, Sunriiiise…

The Gormogons Posted on March 13, 2013 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

The middle-aged Sith Lord would retort, “I won’t cut the blanket, simply cover my feet when its cold and my head when its bright. .” Dr. J. actually likes Daylight Savings Time. Your Gormogons don’t always agree with each other, … Continue reading →

Posted in 'Puter, American Indians, Daylight Saving Time, Gormogon Infighting, GorT, Ingalls, Sith Lord, The Czar of Muscovy, The Inscrutable Mandarin, Volgi (pronounced Volgi)

Collaboration

The Gormogons Posted on March 6, 2013 by GorTApril 6, 2014

From time to time, a number of the Gormogons get together for various efforts.  Here is what happens when you combine the Volgi’s penchant for yeti, Mandy’s orbiting satellite control systems, and GorT’s robots: I guess we need to find … Continue reading →

Posted in GorT, Robots, The Mandarin, Volgi (pronounced Volgi)

eMailbag

The Gormogons Posted on February 27, 2013 by GorTApril 6, 2014

GorT has a few emails that he received over the last week or so that merit replies (the rest were about ‘Puter and Czar’s latest adventures at the Leaping Peacock, Mandy’s satellites interfering with The Hopper on DirectTV, Volgi’s latest … Continue reading →

Posted in GorT, Mailbag, Minions

All Is Not Lost

The Gormogons Posted on January 17, 2013 by GorTApril 6, 2014

It’s easy in these trying times to become despondent or callously cynical about the direction that the country is heading.  And it is at those times that I find items like the following buoy me and reinvigorate me. GorT attended … Continue reading →

Posted in Economic policy, GorT, World Opinion

Me Too!

The Gormogons Posted on January 15, 2013 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Dr. J., like GorT loves elegantly visualized information. Indeed, The Visual Display of Quantitative Information, by Edward Tufte is required reading at New Atlantis Ivory Tower School of Medicine. Dr. J.’s favorite example is this map/graph of Napoleon’s invasion of Russia: … Continue reading →

Posted in Data, GorT, Math class is hard, Napoleon, Russia

Random Items

The Gormogons Posted on December 11, 2012 by GorTApril 6, 2014

It’s a Three-fer Tuesday here at the Castle for GorT: Item Numero Uno:  Launch of the second flight of the X-37B “mini space shuttle” The Air Force launched the X-37B back into space on its second mission today.  This vehicle … Continue reading →

Posted in Fiscal Crisis, GorT, NASA, Space, Spying, United States Air Force

GorT”s Christmas Tree

The Gormogons Posted on December 9, 2012 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Gort is going for simple this year. Simply titanium, that is. What else did you expect, a Christmas Graph? Dr. J.

Continue reading →
Posted in GorT, Merry Christmas

Turkey, it’s what’s for dinner

The Gormogons Posted on November 22, 2012 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Happy Thanksgiving from your Gormogon Overlords! Rather than gather in the castle feast hall, we travel to points hither and yon to break bread with family. Nevertheless, it is wondered It is often wondered what the Gormogons make for Thanksgiving Dinner: Volgi: … Continue reading →

Posted in 'Puter ain't always right, Dr. J., GorT, Thanksgiving, The Czar of Muscovy, The Inscrutable Mandarin, Volgi (pronounced Volgi)

A Fifth Thought

The Gormogons Posted on November 7, 2012 by GorTApril 6, 2014

No, this isn’t a reference to GorT polishing off a fifth of Angostura 1824 rum last night.  Given that four of the Gormogons have weighed in on the election night, I figured I’d chime in with my thoughts. I find … Continue reading →

Posted in 2012 Election, Election Results, Future, GorT

Quick Thoughts

The Gormogons Posted on November 6, 2012 by GorTApril 6, 2014

Numero Uno:  I wonder if the democrats in Maryland have put the following 2+2 together.  The democrats have been pushing against Question 7 (essentially allowing a casino with table games in Maryland) with statements like “the legislature raided the education … Continue reading →

Posted in GorT

Trick or Treat – Castle Edition

The Gormogons Posted on October 29, 2012 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Gentle Readers, Your Gormogons are gearing up for tonight’s Halloween Party at the Castle. Dr. J. only felt it appropriate to share with you, our readers and fans, how we will be dressing for the festivities. Dr. J. your Royal … Continue reading →

Posted in 'Puter, GorT, Halloween, Humor, Iron Man, Pope Don't Float, Sith Lord, The Czar of Muscovy, The Inscrutable Mandarin, Volgi (pronounced Volgi)

Mailbag

The Gormogons Posted on October 17, 2012 by GorTApril 6, 2014

Island Dweller must be bored in the desert…or really likes our site, writes into GorT with the following: Dear brushed-stainless steel repository of technical sophistication:  As a recently-retired Federal law enforcement professional who worked GWOT issues during my tenure I … Continue reading →

Posted in Global War on Terror, GorT, Libya, Mailbag

What Hath The Boomers Wrought

The Gormogons Posted on September 28, 2012 by GorTApril 6, 2014

GorT is miffed. Peeved.  Ticked off.  GorT and family live in a great community that is centered around our Catholic parish.  Over 70% of the kids in our parochial school walk to school each day.  Sure, there are the enabling … Continue reading →

Posted in GorT, Lawyers, Roman Catholics

Where has Volgi been of late?

The Gormogons Posted on September 27, 2012 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

 孔夫子 a.k.a. Confucius, our Œcumenical Volgi (the Notorious ŒV) has been conspicuously absent of late, especially given that he wrote the first post on our esteemed website. Well, the first in a wibbly, wobbly, timey-wimey sort of way, anyway.  Well, Dr. J.’s dark … Continue reading →

Posted in Dr. J., Gormogon Infighting, GorT, Humor, Ninjababe, Spanish Basketball, Volgi (pronounced Volgi)

More Minifigures

The Gormogons Posted on September 4, 2012 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Man, you people get so needy. All right. By popular demand, we have added a second series of MiniFigures for your Castle Gormogon sets! Die-hard fans will be certain to gouge other people’s eyes out in order to get their … Continue reading →

Posted in 'Puter, 2-1B, Castle Gormogon, Dat Ho, Dr. J., Gormogonica, Gormogons, GorT, Sleestak, The Czar of Muscovy, The Gormogonickal Seal of Approval®, The Mandarin, Volgi, Volgi (pronounced Volgi)

Gormogon MiniFigures

The Gormogons Posted on September 3, 2012 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Admit it! Wouldn’t you sometimes rather act out your own Gormogon posts, rather than read the ones we actually put here? Seriously, don’t you just want to go all ‘Puter on NPR once in a while? Or have the Czar … Continue reading →

Posted in 'Puter, 2-1B, Castle Gormogon, Dat Ho, Dr. J., Gormogonica, Gormogons, GorT, Sleestak, The Czar of Muscovy, The Gormogonickal Seal of Approval®, The Mandarin, Volgi, Volgi (pronounced Volgi)

Disturbing Stats

The Gormogons Posted on August 19, 2012 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Fantastic work by GorT on the statistical analysis of our writings. The Czar is bemused when looking at his own word cloud that “DON” appears there in the far right. To wear? A mafia figurehead? A Spanish lord? Ameche? Curious, … Continue reading →

Posted in 'Puter's Always Right, Castle Gormogon, Dr. J., Gormogonica, GorT, Lies Damned Lies and Statistics, The Czar of Muscovy, The Mandarin, Volgi (pronounced Volgi)

Gormogon Stats

The Gormogons Posted on August 18, 2012 by GorTApril 6, 2014

GorT loves him some math and statistics.  So I felt it was time to run the numbers on our corner of the internet here.  The numbers are based on a snapshot of the blog from a few days ago.  I … Continue reading →

Posted in 'Puter's Always Right, Castle Gormogon, Dr. J., Gormogonica, GorT, Lies Damned Lies and Statistics, The Czar of Muscovy, The Mandarin, Volgi (pronounced Volgi)

Reminder to Our Minions

The Gormogons Posted on August 11, 2012 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Thank you for your attention. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all … Continue reading →

Posted in Gormogonica, GorT, Minions

GorT On Vacation

The Gormogons Posted on July 31, 2012 by GorTApril 6, 2014

GorT and family are on vacation this week visiting the lovely Palmetto State.  It’s been a frequent destination for the family and we enjoy it tremendously.  We’ve had a spat of thunderstorms but all-in-all the kids are having fun, we’ve … Continue reading →

Posted in GorT, Vacations

To Save Itself Dodge Resurrects ‘Puter’s First Ride

The Gormogons Posted on July 24, 2012 by 'PuterApril 6, 2014

This is the closest image ‘Puter could locateto show the true beauty of his first car. In or about 1985, the State of Maryland (“America in Miniature“**) issued ‘Puter his driver’s license.  From that fateful day forward, ‘Puter was unleashed … Continue reading →

Posted in 'Puter, Cars, Dodge Swinger, Gormogonica, GorT, High School, Volgi (pronounced Volgi)

Da Email!

The Gormogons Posted on July 19, 2012 by GorTApril 6, 2014

GorT is clearing out a few emails that he’s received as of late. First off, Operative BG writes in regarding “the Obama Quote“: Yeah, I’m seeing lots of Obama’s defenders claiming the quote was taken out of context, that he … Continue reading →

Posted in GorT, Mailbag, The Obama Amateur Hour

The Czar Explains Spanish Weather

The Gormogons Posted on July 6, 2012 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

GorT wants to know why the term derecho is used to describe a particular type of storm. In fact, Spanish words are used as a lingua franca although they sound Greek to him. Here are some of the Spanish terms … Continue reading →

Posted in Climatology, GorT, In English Please, Meteorology

Optimism and Innovation

The Gormogons Posted on June 6, 2012 by GorTApril 6, 2014

GorT has long advocated for an increase in innovation in this country.  It’s something that will develop sustained job growth and improve the nation as a whole.  GorT, Sr. passed along this great TED Talk which is worth the 16 … Continue reading →

Posted in GorT, Innovation, Optimism

Mine, Mine, Mine, All Mine.

The Gormogons Posted on May 24, 2012 by GorTApril 6, 2014

Having attended Saturday evening Mass this past weekend, GorT and Mrs. GorT were enjoying a leisurely Sunday morning by watching some Sunday morning news shows over breakfast.  One show had Senator Bob Casey (D-PA) on to discuss his sponsorship of … Continue reading →

Posted in Conservatism, GorT, Liberal Idiots, Liberals, Taxes, U.S. Economy

The Czar Might Not Be Wrong Here

The Gormogons Posted on March 30, 2012 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

If the Czar had to choose, and he is glad he does not, he would suspect the single greatest thing that annoyed GorT ever in the history of political science was Nancy Pelosi’s claim that she and Senator Harry Reid … Continue reading →

Posted in Congress, GorT, Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi

Mailbag

The Gormogons Posted on March 8, 2012 by GorTApril 6, 2014

GorT, Sr writes in with the following as the primary in our state is just under a month away: First of all, I am a fiscal, paternal, and social conservative.  I am principled in my beliefs, but am pragmatic and … Continue reading →

Posted in GorT, Mailbag, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, Primaries, Rick Santorum

Mailbag – Two Steelheads are better than one Fluke

The Gormogons Posted on March 7, 2012 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Operative BG writes in: A couple of points: 1) GorT, you suggest, “…why not ask the male involved to contribute to the contraception?” Indeed. It occurs to me that if Ms. Fluke is relying solely on the Pill, she shouldn’t … Continue reading →

Posted in Abortion, Birth Control, Dr. J., Dr. Seuss, Gormogon Operatives, GorT, Iä Iä Great Cthulhu, Mailbag

Mailbag

The Gormogons Posted on January 30, 2012 by GorTApril 6, 2014

GorT got two messages over the weekend, I was having too much fun to work on them until today so here we go. First up is from operative KH: Estimable GorTechie, The only way I would go along with point … Continue reading →

Posted in GorT, Mailbag, The Obama Amateur Hour

Gormogon Debate ’12 – Is Obama Incompetent or Evil.

The Gormogons Posted on January 17, 2012 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Dr. J. was inspired by Kevin Williamson’s Friday column at National Review Online. He posits that Republicans are divided into two camps. Those that believe that Obama is incompetent, and those that believe that he is evil. It his his … Continue reading →

Posted in 'Puter, Czar-Related Firing Squads and Summary Executions, Dr. J., Gormogon Infighting, GorT, My Little Pony, ObamaCare, The Mandarin, The Obama Amateur Hour, Volgi (pronounced Volgi)

Bag Taxes Promote Prostitution – MoCo Politicians Hate Women

The Gormogons Posted on January 11, 2012 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

In an homage to our !!!1!E1@VENtY!1!!1!! screaming friends on the left, Dr. J. drafts the above headline. Mrs. Dr. J. is a wonderful and charitable woman. Recently, a new charity came on her radar. The name of the organization was … Continue reading →

Posted in Charity, Dr. J., GorT, Mrs. Dr. J., Prostitution, Recycling

Resolving

The Gormogons Posted on January 2, 2012 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

With everybody back at the Castle, the Czar thought he would stroll around and see what everyone was doing. And then, just like that, the Czar thought he would poll around about New Year’s resolutions. We wandered down to the … Continue reading →

Posted in 'Puter, Dr. J., GorT, Holidays, Personal Responsibility, The Czar of Muscovy, The Mandarin, Volgi, Volgi (pronounced Volgi)

Gormogon Advent Calendar – Day 24

The Gormogons Posted on December 24, 2011 by GorTApril 6, 2014

The final day of our calendar brings up the door to these charities: The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society (one of ‘Puter’s picks)The Christian Foundation for Children and Aging (GorT frequents this charity)The Holy Land Christian Ecumenical Foundation (also a pick … Continue reading →

Posted in 'Puter, Charity, Gormogonica, GorT, Merry Christmas

The Czar’s Castle Christmas Tree

The Gormogons Posted on December 22, 2011 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Now, the Czar has been our Minister of Substantive Posts™ of late, with ‘Puter hideously busy dealing with all things reality based, and GorT, Volgi, and Dr. J. being all Christmassy with our content, and Mandy, well, being Mandy. But … Continue reading →

Posted in 'Puter, Castle Gormogon, GorT, Merry Christmas, Shut Up Doc, The Czar of Muscovy, The Mandarin, Volgi (pronounced Volgi)

Gort’s Castle Christmas Tree

The Gormogons Posted on December 21, 2011 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Pac Man turned 11111 (Eleventy-eleven) this year, and Gort chose to recognize his binary buddy with his Christmas Tree this year! For all of our global warming fanatic friends, be reassured that GorT is only using cold fusion to power … Continue reading →

Posted in Castle Gormogon, GorT, Merry Christmas, Pac Man

Gormogon Advent Calendar – Day 20

The Gormogons Posted on December 20, 2011 by GorTApril 6, 2014

Today was GorT’s turn to open a door on the advent calendar and while the treat was more along the lines of the traditional advent calendars, I still seem to feel like someone in the castle is snickering. GorTGorT is … Continue reading →

Posted in Gormogonica, GorT, Merry Christmas

Gormogon Advent Calendar – Day 13

The Gormogons Posted on December 13, 2011 by GorTApril 6, 2014

Lucky me! O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!  Day 13 is GorT’s second turn at opening an advent calendar door.  A number of the Gormogons are early birds (and we get plenty of worms), particularly GorT and ‘Puter whose body clocks … Continue reading →

Posted in Atari, Gormogonica, GorT, Merry Christmas

Dr. J’s 12 Days of Christmas Music – Day 12

The Gormogons Posted on December 12, 2011 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Thank you all for hanging in there during Dr. J.’s Christmas present to himself this season, an indulgent walk down memory lane where he could reflect on the glories of Christmases long long ago, to copy a phrase. So here … Continue reading →

Posted in 1980s, Dr. J., GorT, Merry Christmas, The Czar of Muscovy

Gormogon Advent Calendar – Day 6

The Gormogons Posted on December 6, 2011 by GorTApril 6, 2014

Well, yes, it’s rolled around to you-know-who – GorT.  I’m never in much of a rush.  Heck, when you can time-travel, why does it matter, right?  So I’m a bit later in the day today posting about my token advent … Continue reading →

Posted in Gormogonica, GorT, Merry Christmas, Nerds

Happy Thanksgiving to All

The Gormogons Posted on November 24, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

A very happy and most wonderful Thanksgiving from all of us at the Castle (well, maybe not the Tcho-Tchos). As many of you know, Thanksgiving is the Czar’s favorite holiday; even better than the Feast of Zdravgul, which we celebrated … Continue reading →

Posted in 'Puter, Castle Gormogon, Dr. J., Gormogons, GorT, Holidays, Thanksgiving, The Czar of Muscovy, The Mandarin, Volgi

Waiting too long at the Apple Store? There’s an App for that!

The Gormogons Posted on November 15, 2011 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Dr. J. went to the New Atlantis Apple Store on Saturday with the lil med student to get an additional USB cable (an ancient one was fraying at the iPhone/iPod plug in end) and a couple of car chargers for … Continue reading →

Posted in Apple, Gormogon Infighting, GorT, One Term President, The Gormogonickal Seal of Approval®, The Obama Amateur Hour, way too much technology

Hello? This Thing On?

The Gormogons Posted on August 13, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Let us see. Volgi is hiding up in his quarters with that goofy Yeti of his, watching another Sonny Chiba movie on Beta. Yeah, he sits there with his iPad now, Twittering all day. Averages about 800 tweets a day, … Continue reading →

Posted in 'Puter, Castle Gormogon, Dat Ho, Dr. J., GGorT, gonica, GorT, Grand Moghul, Prince Tochmas, Sleestak, The Czar of Muscovy, The Mandarin, Volgi, Volgi (pronounced Volgi)

To All Minions

The Gormogons Posted on June 15, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Thank you for your attention. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all … Continue reading →

Posted in Gormogonica, GorT

Remove Contents From Can Before Use

The Gormogons Posted on May 30, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

GorT recommends the use of Easy Off to clean grilles. Maybe the Czar missed the point, here, but he tried it. And after 20 minutes, the can exploded on the grille. Big mess. So important safety tip: spray Easy Off … Continue reading →

Posted in GorT, Mmm…barbecue…

Supreme GorT Justice!

The Gormogons Posted on May 4, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

Astute reader (but ain’t you all?) Mallethead writes in to point out that he has solved the identity of the secret 10th Supreme Court justice over at FantasySCOTUS. Um, yeah: It is indeed GorT. How do you think Heller got … Continue reading →

Posted in GorT, Supreme Court

Tax Education

The Gormogons Posted on March 10, 2011 by GorTApril 7, 2014

I thought I’d pass along a little tax education from GorT, Sr. from a recent dialog with some more liberal folks: Here’s another example of how liberalism distorts the ability to think correctly. Corporations do not pay tax. They collect … Continue reading →

Posted in Dirty Liberals, GorT, Taxes

Better Than Tabasco

The Gormogons Posted on January 28, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

Uncle Jay sends us this, written in charcoal on the back of a corrugated PVC lawn sign: O Cruel and Vicious Czar, By the Grace of God, Emperor and Autocrat of All the Russias, of Moscow, Kiev, Vladimir, Novgorod, yadda … Continue reading →

Posted in 'Puter, Castle Gormogon, GorT, Mailbag, The Czar of Muscovy, The Mandarin, Volgi

Volginization

The Gormogons Posted on December 22, 2010 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

Şɵ ʛøɾŤ שׂɾɨʈēʂ ʊק ʈħɨʂ ɳēשׂ קɨēçē øʄ ʂøʄʈשׂăɾē ħē ɕăɭɭʂ ɤøɭğɨɳɨʑēɾ, שׂħɨçħ ʈɾăɳʂʄøɾɱʂ ўøʊɾ ʈēϰʈ ʈɵ ɭøøк ɭɨкē ʂøɱēʈħɨɳğ ʈħē ɤøɭğɨ ɱɨğħʈ ħăɤē שׂɾɨʈʈēɳ. Ťħē ʂøʄʈשׂăɾē ɨʂ קɾēʈʈў ɳēăʈ; ʈħē ɕʑăɾ ɾăɳ ɨʈ ħēɾē, ăɳɖ ɨʈ ɭøøкʂ קɾēʈʈў ğøøɖ. … Continue reading →

Posted in Gormogonica, GorT, Volgi, Volgi (pronounced Volgi)

What Do We Talk About All Day?

The Gormogons Posted on December 15, 2010 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

So a lot of sites have these discussion topic diagrams, in which some software analyzes your writing and draws up a diagram based on word frequency and topic count. The Mandarin, who has been working feverishly on an alternative to … Continue reading →

Posted in Gormogonica, GorT, The Mandarin

The Magnitude of the Problem

The Gormogons Posted on July 17, 2010 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

The Czar is not suggesting anything here. But the Mandarin was making strawberry shortbread for everyone at the Castle tonight. GorT cancelled at the last minute, and went to his real home for a Charles in Charge marathon on television; … Continue reading →

Posted in Castle Gormogon, GorT

Why GorT invented the Nexus Googlephone

The Gormogons Posted on January 7, 2010 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.January 7, 2010

Not in the LEAST safe for work. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153

Continue reading →
Posted in Google, GorT, Humor, iPhone

Gormogons on the Road

The Gormogons Posted on September 10, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.September 10, 2009

Oprah celebrated her 24th season premiere on Michigan Avenue in Chicago today, along with the Black Eyed Peas. The Gormogons were there. Test for faithful readers with sharp eyes: Can you spot the hidden Gormogon? Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent … Continue reading →

Posted in Chicago, Gormogonica, GorT, GorTechie's Time Travel Adventures, Humor, Oprah

Re: Re: Re: Fearing Face to Face

The Gormogons Posted on September 1, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovySeptember 1, 2009

GorT – Remember that financial institutions are also exempt from the Do Not Call registry. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in … Continue reading →

Posted in Gormogon Infighting, Gormogons, GorT

Re: Fearing the Face to Face

The Gormogons Posted on September 1, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovySeptember 1, 2009

GorT, Calls from political organizations, which includes a Congressional office, are exempt from the Do Not Call registry. The Czar is surprised you only received one call. The Czar household receives about one call per month from the local Congressperson. … Continue reading →

Posted in GorT

Where was this when I was a kid

The Gormogons Posted on July 30, 2009 by GorTJuly 30, 2009

Well, I count myself fortunate enough to have been able to be exposed to a lot of chances to “tinker” and learn but this experience would have been right up my alley, I think, as a child. I did have … Continue reading →

Posted in Building Stuff, GorT

Access {Error}:Fatal_Init

The Gormogons Posted on July 26, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyJuly 26, 2009

Anyway, whatever that nonsense up there is, that’s what you get when you try to hack into GorT’s brain. Here’s how it went down. So the Czar is strolling through the basement of the Castle Gormogon (motto of our basement: … Continue reading →

Posted in And yet she must scream, Gormogonica, GorT, Hello Kitty, The Mandarin

Meet the Gormogons!

The Gormogons Posted on July 24, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyJuly 24, 2009

Every ultra-secret society needs an easy-to-find website. And it is the one-year anniversary of this one! As a way of celebrating, here’s a simple user guide to most things Gormogon. Learn More About Us Although the Gormogons claim roughly five … Continue reading →

Posted in 'Puter, And yet she must scream, Gormogonica, Gormogons, GorT, Guns, Hello Kitty, The Czar of Muscovy, The Mandarin, Val Kilmer the Thirteenth Imam, Volgi, Volgi (pronounced Volgi)

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About Us

A secret society dedicated to the restoration of the Kingdom of Poland-Lithuania, the imprisonment of Esperanto speakers, and furthering the eschatological doctrine of the Return from Occultation of the Thirteenth Imam, Val Kilmer. Seriously, what happened to that guy? He was awesome in Tombstone. ایمام سیزدهم

Scribble, scribble…

To contact your hosts and pledge your undying obedience, e-mail dr.j, gort, puter, theczar, themandarin or thenotoriousoev followed by the at sign, gormogons, then a ., and finally, com.

De Gormogonorum Mysteriis

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