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Tayyip prepares to wag the dog?

The Gormogons Posted on March 30, 2014 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 6, 2014

Could Turkey’s president Erdoğan be ginning up a casus belli in Syria to distract from his domestic problems? Maybe. Here, from Friend of the Gormogons Claire Berlinski, are Ten Things You Need to Know About Turkey. Read them all, but … Continue reading →

Posted in Claire Berlinski, Friend of Gormogons, Syria, Turkey, War

Zombie Apocalypse Survival Gear, Gormogons Style*

The Gormogons Posted on September 25, 2013 by 'PuterApril 6, 2014

Nothing strikes fear into the undead heart of a zombie like the sound of chainsaw revving up. Nothing, that is, except a chainsaw revving up prominently displaying the visage of She Who Has No Mouth, Yet She Must Scream.** If … Continue reading →

Posted in Borepatch, Friend of Gormogons, Hello Kitty, Suck It Czar, The Mandarin, zombie apocalypse

Mailbag – Back to Skool Edition

The Gormogons Posted on August 29, 2013 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

College football players are checking out the talent helping a freshman co-ed move in on move-in day. Gormogon longtime fan, reader and sometime writer, JAB writes from the doublewide: Dear Mr. Dr. J.:  I read your “Big Skool” post with … Continue reading →

Posted in Big Skool, Friend of Gormogons, Mailbag

In Which Dr. J. takes a quiz…

The Gormogons Posted on August 15, 2013 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Dragonslayers, and proud of it! Many, if not all of your Gormogons know their way around a 20 sided die. Dr. J. had a standing RPG campaign with two of his childhood chums dating from their junior high school days … Continue reading →

Posted in Dungeons and Dragons, Friend of Gormogons, Games People Play, Nerds, Professor Mondo, Quiz, RPGs, Wargames

Mailbag – Ketchup Edition

The Gormogons Posted on August 10, 2013 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Mrs. Volgi modeling the Volgimobile Dr. J. was delinquent with regard to this missive from the great ScottO, who you better be following on twitter @gscottoliver. He writes regarding Dr. J.’s recent rant on Obamacare: Most Excellent Doctor,  At the … Continue reading →

Posted in Friend of Gormogons, Gremlin, Luxury Cars, Mailbag, Minion, ObamaCare, Pacer, Professor Mondo, Spawn

#ObamaCareNado – Or MUST SEE YouTube!

The Gormogons Posted on July 18, 2013 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Conservative twitter great, future senator from the great state of South Carolina, and Friend of the Gormogons Bruce Carroll, aka @GayPatriot posted this on his twitter feed: Just when you thought it was safe to go the doctor… #ObamaCareNado: http://t.co/uxEY5HIdYQ— … Continue reading →

Posted in Friend of Gormogons, Gay Patriot, Humor, ObamaCare, Sharknado, The Obama Amateur Hour

BG is teh Awsum

The Gormogons Posted on April 6, 2013 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Long-time brainpowerfulness BG writes in: Your Czariness – Jonah Goldberg initially pointed me in the direction of Castle Gormogon. So it’s immensely satisfying to me when someone responds to a post of mine as below. rulierose @bg • 20 hours … Continue reading →

Posted in Club Gormogon, Friend of Gormogons, Illegals, Immigration, In English Please, Jonah Goldberg, Mailbag, Minion, Minions

Mailbag – War Between The States Edition

The Gormogons Posted on March 11, 2013 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Operative JB writes regarding the Idaho ban being explored in Congress: Dear Dr. J.,  Also shaped like various modern and futuristic guns: Florida, North Carolina, Maryland, Oklahoma, Massachusetts and Louisiana.  Also, West Virginia looks like a praying mantis, which scares … Continue reading →

Posted in Adam Baldwin, Bagpipes, Friend of Gormogons, Idaho, Mailbag, Minions, United States Senate

That’s no moon…

The Gormogons Posted on February 13, 2013 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Dr. J. saw our friends over at IMAO link to this on teh twitterz this morning: New blog post: Pluto’s moons goo.gl/fb/ywlzO— Frank J. Fleming (@IMAO_) February 13, 2013 Apparently we have observed that the flagship Dwarf Planet Pluto (the 9th … Continue reading →

Posted in Astronomy, Friend of Gormogons, Gormogonica, Greeks, Moon, Mythology, Pluto

Life Hacks for the #Ninjababe

The Gormogons Posted on February 6, 2013 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Dear Ninjababe: Doctor’s orders! Warmest Regards,Dr. J. Dr. J.

Continue reading →
Posted in Friend of Gormogons, Ice Cream, Minions, Ninjababe, Nutella

Friend of the Gormos: JVL

The Gormogons Posted on February 6, 2013 by GorTApril 6, 2014

GorT is a big believer in correlated data and there are certain demographic trends that aren’t looking promising for the United States.  The one I usually cite is the population numbers by age versus investment behavior by age.  I believe … Continue reading →

Posted in Demographics, Friend of Gormogons, Jonathan Last

When Seconds Count

The Gormogons Posted on January 15, 2013 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

A big welcome back to LTC Dan, from whom we have not received a message in far, far too long. We appreciate the Colonel’s presence here at the Castle, and are most interested in his question: Sir, I found “Reading … Continue reading →

Posted in Firearms, Friend of Gormogons, Gang Violence, Guns, Law Enforcement, Mailbag, Second Amendment, Shooting, Shotguns

uʍop ǝpısdn sllod ƃuıuɹnʇ

The Gormogons Posted on September 28, 2012 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

People want to know how we’re going to vote…run! Mitch H., proud owner and operator of Blogfonte, sung by the Castle and had a barside chat with us on the Czar’s wonderful piece on the weirdness of recent polls. The … Continue reading →

Posted in 2012 Election, Election, Friend of Gormogons, Mailbag, Polls, Voting

Mailbag – Merlin-care Edition

The Gormogons Posted on September 13, 2012 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

The Great Merlin writes thusly: Dr. J.,  Here’s something that confuses me (well, technically, yet another entry on a long list of things, but let’s not go there, shall we?). In all of the discussions about Obamacare/ACA, Medicare, Medicaid, CHIP/SCHIP, … Continue reading →

Posted in Eleventy, Friend of Gormogons, Mailbag, Merlin, Minions, Socialized Medicine, The Obama Amateur Hour

Mailbag – Second Opinion Edition

The Gormogons Posted on July 27, 2012 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

The Gentle Reader may recall Dr. J.’s discussion regarding third party payors and how that model has contributed to the rapidly escalating cost of healthcare. You may also recall how a gentleman who goes by the handle Cziltang, and blogs … Continue reading →

Posted in Dr. J., Friend of Gormogons, Mailbag

Book Review: The People v. The Democratic Party

The Gormogons Posted on July 13, 2012 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Friend of the Gormogons Michael Walsh has written a treatise you may have seen advertised called The People v. The Democratic Party. Available to your left from our Emporium Gormogonicum, along with other fine items. This 45-page treatise can be … Continue reading →

Posted in Friend of Gormogons, Michael Walsh, READ A BOOK

Why Everything Sucks

The Gormogons Posted on June 14, 2012 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

There is an entire course in psychology within this 3:16 Craig Ferguson clip. All of it is right.Thanks to FotG Jonah Goldberg for alerting us to this. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, … Continue reading →

Posted in Friend of Gormogons, Jonah Goldberg, Television, These politics really suck, This artwork really sucks, This book really sucks, This movie really sucks, This song really sucks, This TV show really sucks

Own the Narrative

The Gormogons Posted on June 12, 2012 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Hey, lucky readers! Know what can be even more fun than reading the Czar? Hearing a faithful reading of one his posts! Check out, and continue to check in with, the folks at Own the Narrative, in which they read … Continue reading →

Posted in Club Gormogon, Friend of Gormogons, Gormogonica, Gormogons, Hey We're On The Radio

Sic Transit Venus

The Gormogons Posted on June 6, 2012 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

There’s a little black spot on the sun today, but it’s not the same old spot as yesterday… See you again in 105 years. h/t T.J., Dr. J.’s childhood BFF captured this image of Venus in transit across the sun.  … Continue reading →

Posted in Astronomy, Friend of Gormogons, Venus

Mailbag – Potter-gressive Edition

The Gormogons Posted on April 15, 2012 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Gentle Readers,  Dr. J. has received a pair of missives related to his recent post on Dolores Umbridge as the fictional figurehead of the Progressive Movement. The Czar sent this interoffice memo via owl: To: Dr. J.  From: The Czar  … Continue reading →

Posted in Friend of Gormogons, Harry Potter, Mailbag, Progressives, The Czar of Muscovy

Let slip the dogs of war…

The Gormogons Posted on April 11, 2012 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Gentle Readers, with Rick Santorum’s departure from the GOP race, Republicans are beginning to coalesce around Mitt Romney. And President Obama’s campaign has set its targets on him as well: Can we say ‘set its targets’? Well we did anyway … Continue reading →

Posted in Abortion, Afghanistan, Friend of Gormogons, Lies Damned Lies and Statistics, Medicare, ObamaCare, Planned Parenthood, The Obama Amateur Hour

Game of Ponies

The Gormogons Posted on April 3, 2012 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

More Pony pr0n for our brony readers. h/t Kennedy Craig Smith @TheKennedySmith Dr. J.

Continue reading →
Posted in Bronies, Friend of Gormogons, Humor, My Little Pony

Arrogantly and Narcissicly Humorous

The Gormogons Posted on March 16, 2012 by GorTApril 6, 2014

FotG Jonathan Last posts an interesting tidbit and notes here that the comment wasn’t made off the cuff but rather was part of a prepared speech.  Big JL raises a key point: how arrogant is Obama that he would denigrate … Continue reading →

Posted in Friend of Gormogons, Jonathan Last, The Obama Amateur Hour

Mailbag – Minion Mail edition

The Gormogons Posted on March 9, 2012 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Our Castle Archivist @MBernadetteE, who you should follow on twitter and read here, and here, writes in: Dr. J.,  Sir, I must commend you. This might be the best one-liner I’ve seen in writing recently.  “Lastly, abortion is the sacrament … Continue reading →

Posted in Friend of Gormogons, Gormogon Operatives, Mailbag, Minions, Progressives

One-Eye Willie Goes Fishing for some Fluke

The Gormogons Posted on March 5, 2012 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

No, not the great pirate from The Goonies,  but rather, Dr. J.’s buddy Jamie Jeffords, aka the Eye of Polyphemus took on an issue that Dr. J. has been ruminating on all weekend, and that is, “How do you solve … Continue reading →

Posted in Birth Control, Entitlements, Friend of Gormogons, Government Run Healthcare, HHS, Required Reading

Déjà vu All Over Again

The Gormogons Posted on January 25, 2012 by GorTApril 6, 2014

Great bit by the RNC – amazing, one would think that the President hasn’t moved anything forward in the last year (and in some examples two years).  Oh wait…. Hat tip to Jonathan Last. Good stuff! GorTGorT is an eight-foot-tall … Continue reading →

Posted in Friend of Gormogons, Jonathan Last, State of the Union, The Obama Amateur Hour

Merry Christmas, and We Mean Everyone!

The Gormogons Posted on December 25, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Merry Christmas. It is a beautiful morning, no matter what. The Gormogons are very excited, and you can see us all gathered around the tree opening our gifts. Your Œcumenical Volgi, or 孔夫子, for those who came in late, or … Continue reading →

Posted in Castle Gormogon, Friend of Gormogons, Gormogon Operatives, Gormogonica, Gormogons, Holidays, Merry Christmas, Minions

Kim Jong Il’s Cause of Death Revealed…

The Gormogons Posted on December 19, 2011 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

As you know, the late North Korean dictator was quite the gourmand. Indeed, he was able to detect a difference in the amount of sugar used in his sushi rice… Nevertheless, Emily Grace (@GreatGrace84), our resident (gluten free) baker and … Continue reading →

Posted in Cookies, Friend of Gormogons, Masonic Ninjas, Minions

Gormogons Readers Are Kewl! Proven!

The Gormogons Posted on December 13, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

So how popular is this site? More importantly, how cool are you for reading it? The answer is very cool. In fact, take the day off, and never be afraid to tell someone off because you read this site, and … Continue reading →

Posted in Borepatch, Friend of Gormogons, Gormogonica, Gormogons, Jonah Goldberg, Jonathan Last

The Me Generation President

The Gormogons Posted on September 11, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

If you have the time, FotG Jonathan Viceroy Last has a superb analysis of President Obama’s narcissism that begs for broader promotion. And since our site averages 62 billion readers a day, this would be a great place to promote … Continue reading →

Posted in Barack Obama, Friend of Gormogons, Jonathan Last, The Obama Amateur Hour

Meeting the Big Guy Himself

The Gormogons Posted on August 15, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

And so the Czar was lucky to have no less a personage than Uncle Jay over to the Castle for a brief lunch. You do read Uncle Jay every day, no? Anyway, with a rare-enough trip to Chicago in his … Continue reading →

Posted in Castle Gormogon, Club Gormogon, Friend of Gormogons

Psychic Octopi

The Gormogons Posted on December 30, 2010 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

FotG Jonah Goldberg references the 50 Funniest Headlines of the Year. Any guess, would you say, on what percentage of these 50 were in fact our doing? No, higher. Higher still. Yep. You got it. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею … Continue reading →

Posted in Friend of Gormogons, Jonah Goldberg, Local News

We Always Had Our Suspicions

The Gormogons Posted on November 28, 2010 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

The Czar is inclined to agree with FotG Claire Berlinski that it does not matter whether the mainstream media acknowledges that Portland teenager Mohamed Osman Mohamud is a Muslim terrorist, because anybody more than two seconds into the story can … Continue reading →

Posted in al-Qâ’ida, Claire Berlinski, Friend of Gormogons, Islamic Terror, Oregon, Terrorism, Terrorists, This sport really sucks

JVL on BHO: Today’s Must Read

The Gormogons Posted on November 14, 2010 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

Jonathan Last (FotG) positively nails the psychology of the President. The Czar admits it: he is insanely jealous of this piece. The Czar says this because he believes whole-heartedly in the premise: that President Obama is totally in love with … Continue reading →

Posted in Barack Obama, Friend of Gormogons, Jonathan Last

Last Call

The Gormogons Posted on November 11, 2010 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

FotG Johnathan V. Last (you know him, right?) wants the Czar to know: I am, as always, a committed fan and follower of the Gormogons. Cool, or what? Sorry, girls, he’s taken! Mr. Last will be rewarded with a continent … Continue reading →

Posted in Friend of Gormogons, Jonathan Last, Mailbag

‘Puter Loves It When This Happens

The Gormogons Posted on September 16, 2010 by 'PuterApril 7, 2014

FrOG* Borepatch is a blogger you should read. Every day. Your Gormogons have even linked him in their blog roll for ease of access. He’s brilliant on global warming pseudo-science, his bete noir, and extremely knowledgeable on matters firearm related. … Continue reading →

Posted in Friend of Gormogons

I’m so there

The Gormogons Posted on June 29, 2010 by GorTApril 7, 2014

For many of us that grew up in the 70s and 80s, cartoons (both afternoon and Saturday morning) hold a special place.  Whether it was Scooby Doo (pre-Scrappy), Jonny Quest (not sure I’m up for Zac Efron as Jonny) or … Continue reading →

Posted in Cartoons, Friend of Gormogons

“Istanbul’s Crime Conundrum”…

The Gormogons Posted on September 15, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.September 15, 2009

…by amica Gormogonorum Claire Berlinski is up at City Journal’s site. It’s a great read. I walk alone through almost every neighborhood of Istanbul, often at night. This is a megacity of at least 12 million people, many of whom … Continue reading →

Posted in Claire Berlinski, Crime, Friend of Gormogons, Istanbul (not Constantinople), Turkey

Gormogon Action Figures

The Gormogons Posted on August 18, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyAugust 18, 2009

Thanks to questions from our dozens billions of fans, the Gormogon Gift Shop, in the first level of the Castle Gormogon (next to ‘Puter’s Pub and the Mandarin Grill) contains action figures for all of us. The Mandarin comes with … Continue reading →

Posted in Castle Gormogon, Club Gormogon, Friend of Gormogons, Gormogonica

Let’s Hope It Works!

The Gormogons Posted on August 6, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyAugust 6, 2009

Special nod to Space for Commerce (the Czar reads him every day, and so should you if you want to keep that pretty head of yours), who not only saluted our inscrutable Mandarin for being so gosh darn inscrutable, but … Continue reading →

Posted in Friend of Gormogons

A new majority?

The Gormogons Posted on February 25, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.February 25, 2009

That‘s what FotG David Frum’s site NewMajority.com is about assembling, and this is the best piece of practical analysis in that direction I’ve seen there. This guy argues you have to start with this fact: That’s right: according to the … Continue reading →

Posted in David Frum, Evangelicals, Friend of Gormogons, Republicans

Siamo tutti fascisti adesso.

The Gormogons Posted on February 15, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.February 15, 2009

We’re all fascists now, says Michael Ledeen. He’s right, of course. The cartelization of industry under state control (and partial ownership)—exactly the “bailout’s” mandate—is textbook fascist economics (as the Volgi pointed out frequently when the Clintons attempted to cartelize the … Continue reading →

Posted in Fascism, Friend of Gormogons, Jonah Goldberg, Liberal Fascism, Michael Ledeen

Monday-Morning Ghostwriter

The Gormogons Posted on January 22, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.January 22, 2009

Friend of the Gormogons David Frum has a neat post at his new site on what Obama shoulda said. Check it out. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153

Continue reading →
Posted in Barack Obama, David Frum, Friend of Gormogons, O-Nauguration

Inauguration in black and white

The Gormogons Posted on January 21, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.January 21, 2009

Friends of the Gormogons Jonah Goldberg & Steve Hayes have some very perspicacious comments on how great it is to have elected a black president—even not having voted for him and hoping that his policy agenda goes down in flames. … Continue reading →

Posted in Barack Obama, Friend of Gormogons, Inauguration, Jonah Goldberg, Liberals, Race, Steve Hayes

Funny Only Because No One Was Hurt

The Gormogons Posted on January 15, 2009 by 'PuterJanuary 15, 2009

A Friend of the Gormogons, knowing ‘Puter’s hatred of all unions (particularly those NYC unions), writes concerning the U.S. Airways Airbus 320 “unexpected water landing” in the Hudson River today: [i]t appears a bird strike was responsible for the thankfully-not-fatal … Continue reading →

Posted in Friend of Gormogons, Gallows Humor, U.S. Airways

Yurtta kargaşa, dünyada kargaşa

The Gormogons Posted on December 23, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.December 23, 2008

Friend of the Gormogons Claire Berlinski pens a terrific, terrific article on some deep fault lines in Turkish government and society that may be headed for a crisis. Read it now. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass … Continue reading →

Posted in Claire Berlinski, Friend of Gormogons, Turkey

FotG Jeff Gedmin on RFE/RL

The Gormogons Posted on December 12, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.December 12, 2008

Great interview. Read the whole thing. We just had a reporter kidnapped and then released after four days in captivity with the Taliban in southern Afghanistan. Our man was moved around during that period of time. What he encountered was … Continue reading →

Posted in Friend of Gormogons, Jeff Gedmin, Radio Free Europe

Long Winded Update/Explication/Semi-Correction

The Gormogons Posted on October 9, 2008 by 'PuterOctober 9, 2008

When ‘Puter’s wrong, he’ll admit it. But ‘Puter’s not convinced he’s entirely wrong on the Tom Dart post below. Anyhoo, in an effort to pull back the curtain and let the world see the exquisitely intricate process of creating a … Continue reading →

Posted in Chicago, Friend of Gormogons, This movie really sucks

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A secret society dedicated to the restoration of the Kingdom of Poland-Lithuania, the imprisonment of Esperanto speakers, and furthering the eschatological doctrine of the Return from Occultation of the Thirteenth Imam, Val Kilmer. Seriously, what happened to that guy? He was awesome in Tombstone. ایمام سیزدهم

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To contact your hosts and pledge your undying obedience, e-mail dr.j, gort, puter, theczar, themandarin or thenotoriousoev followed by the at sign, gormogons, then a ., and finally, com.

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