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How to Be a UN Ambassador

The Gormogons Posted on December 30, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyDecember 30, 2016

The following essay is a guest post from Derek the Last. We remind our readers that you are welcome to submit your thoughts either as an email or as a complete essay. There has been a lot of talk about … Continue reading →

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One State, One Israel

The Gormogons Posted on December 29, 2016 by 'PuterDecember 29, 2016

Donald Trump, for all his flaws, has succeeded in doing what no Republican president to date has done: illustrating the emperors of Foggy Bottom have no clothes. Take the latest Obama-Kerry fit of pique/backstabbing of Israel. State Department doctrine is … Continue reading →

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‘Puter’s 2017 Prognostications

The Gormogons Posted on December 28, 2016 by 'PuterDecember 28, 2016

Screw Nostradamus and Miss Cleo. Plus, they’re dead anyway. You’ve got ‘Puter, Master Prognosticator to the Stars!* As a service to you, dear readers, ‘Puter spent the last week reading the signs and communing with the spirits of time to … Continue reading →

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Liberals Still Not Getting the Message

The Gormogons Posted on December 20, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyDecember 20, 2016

Well, you all know ScottO (@gscottoliver), right? Well, he wrote in recently. O Dread Czar, In your excellent recent piece “Academia Becomes Aware”, you stated one reason that leftist arguments lose to the right, and went on to hint at … Continue reading →

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Mailbag

The Gormogons Posted on December 17, 2016 by GorTDecember 17, 2016

It’s been a while since GorT has delved into the mailbag, but this morning he reached in and pulled this one out at random from the 13,438,325 unread emails (‘Puter keeps clicking on those random links in emails): Dear GorT, … Continue reading →

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Cyberbullying

The Gormogons Posted on December 13, 2016 by GorTDecember 13, 2016

I almost posted the following (or a version thereof) to Facebook as I really am interested in what other-minded folks would say.  But maybe I’ll start here. Let’s say that Russia sponsored hackers infiltrated email servers and released DNC and … Continue reading →

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Academia Becomes Aware

The Gormogons Posted on December 12, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyDecember 12, 2016

The Czar has been anticipating a massive academic correction in Higher Education for some time, now. Awareness is always a positive first sign, and for years now the average American understands that college tuition is ridiculous for what you get … Continue reading →

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Cuba 2: Electric Boogaloo

The Gormogons Posted on December 7, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyDecember 7, 2016

Reply mail appeared under our door yesterday, this time from Operative SMR, who was able to provide additional thought on how Cuba survived economic isolation. The Czar thinks these ideas are quite good. Dear The Czar, I read with interest

Continue reading →
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The Cuban Scam

The Gormogons Posted on December 6, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyDecember 6, 2016

The Czar is frequently in and out of the Castle, and has so many visitors that he just cannot make time for everyone. Derek the Last, long-time castle visitor (because he cannot pay his guest bill, so he’s decided to … Continue reading →

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Cabinet Brackets

The Gormogons Posted on December 2, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyDecember 2, 2016

Well, it’s been over a week since anybody posted anything up over here. You probably assumed we were just busy with the holidays or whatever, but the truth is ‘Puter really trashes up the place. We’ve just been the last … Continue reading →

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How to Talk to Liberal Guests This Holiday

The Gormogons Posted on November 23, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyNovember 23, 2016

Every so often, something happens that astonishes the long-over-lived Czar. Lately, it’s been the sudden appearance of a conservative backbone. Look, we all have at least one liberal loud-mouth at every holiday gathering, either a friend or relative who signals … Continue reading →

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Why Liberals Fear the GOP

The Gormogons Posted on November 23, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyNovember 23, 2016

The Czar welcomes Derek the Last to the pool of correspondents (although it’s really more of a deep dry well than a pool…unless you count the blood), and does not believe he has written in before, and the Czar wonders … Continue reading →

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3 Things Liberals Should Know But Don’t

The Gormogons Posted on November 22, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyNovember 22, 2016

As Democrats slowly recognize the awful position in which they have placed themselves, they function almost purely by instinct now. Far too many of the recent opinion pieces implicitly or explicitly rely on tropes that most Americans, it would seem, … Continue reading →

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Operative B on Operating Bikes

The Gormogons Posted on November 21, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyNovember 21, 2016

The Czar agrees with every word of Operative B’s thoughts, below: Your Majesty, Yes, the grand majority of Harley-Davidson riders – among them are Victory and Indian riders – are polite and genteel folk who do indeed pull over to … Continue reading →

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How to Operate a Motorcycle

The Gormogons Posted on November 20, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyNovember 20, 2016

There’s nothing better than feeling the wind tear through your hair, the skies overhead, the rough feel of the road under you, and the sound of traffic—unless of course this is you waking up naked alongside the expressway again. But … Continue reading →

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Things I Learned From My Facebook Feed This Election

The Gormogons Posted on November 16, 2016 by 'PuterNovember 16, 2016

Trump and the Republicans are going to hunt down and kill every last LGBTQ person, woman, and melanin enhanced person because Trump is the literal equivalent of Hitler and the Republicans are the indubitable modern day SS. The currently sitting … Continue reading →

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America from the Crossroads

The Gormogons Posted on November 14, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyNovember 14, 2016

The Czar got three things wrong this election: he originally said in 2012 that the Republicans were certain to lose in 2016. He said that Hillary Clinton would not run because she was inherently unelectable. He also predicted Donald Trump … Continue reading →

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Thanks, Vets

The Gormogons Posted on November 11, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyNovember 11, 2016

Thanks to so many who did so much for so many more. May we be worthy of your countless and timeless sacrifices and setbacks. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The … Continue reading →

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Rose Colored Glasses in The Hall of Mirrors

The Gormogons Posted on November 11, 2016 by GorTNovember 11, 2016

GorT’s friends, family, and even co-workers are a pretty diverse bunch in social issues, economic issues, and definitely in political issues.  And within that group there are those that range in extremes on all of those issues.  There were the … Continue reading →

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The Vaporzez

The Gormogons Posted on November 10, 2016 by Dr. J.November 10, 2016

Gentle Readers, It wouldn’t be an election post mortem without all of your Gormogons providing commentary. Dr. J. was taken aback by the vast swaths of pussytude infecting the half of the voters that voted for Hillary Clinton in response to her … Continue reading →

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How Mandarin Predicted the Election

The Gormogons Posted on November 9, 2016 by The MandarinNovember 9, 2016

Hello, children. Hello. Your Mandarin and the Czar were conversing a some days prior to the election when the Czar expressed concern regarding now President-Elect Trump’s poll numbers.  Your Mandarin being all knowing, and with the help of some crude … Continue reading →

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The Future

The Gormogons Posted on November 9, 2016 by GorTNovember 9, 2016

Today, and the next few weeks and months will be telling and it’s a time from introspection.  As you read your Twitter timeline, your Facebook feed, Instagram, watch the news, listen to the radio, consider for a moment that there … Continue reading →

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Weaker Together

The Gormogons Posted on November 8, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyNovember 8, 2016

Dear Your Czarness, May I interrupt Your Czarness’s celebrations after the World Series and request that you come back down to terra firma ….’cause you know we’ve got this little matter of an election today. I think that by Wednesday, … Continue reading →

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Weirder Than Strange

The Gormogons Posted on November 7, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyNovember 7, 2016

The Czar and his family took off to see Doctor Strange and felt you would very much enjoy it. In doing research for this review, which basically consisted of seeing the film, the Czar read a couple of reviews in … Continue reading →

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The Media Are Even Biased About Bias

The Gormogons Posted on November 4, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyNovember 4, 2016

Which is worse? The news that the media is so obviously employed as a tool of the Democrats to control the narrative, or that this isn’t even news? Poll after poll shows that Americans simply do not believe the media. … Continue reading →

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Last Night’s Revelation

The Gormogons Posted on November 3, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyNovember 3, 2016

And you should be concerned about the time we have left. 1 And I saw when the Lamb opened one of the seals, and I heard, as it were the noise of thunder, one of the four beasts saying, Come … Continue reading →

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Weaker Together

The Gormogons Posted on October 31, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyOctober 31, 2016

Boy, Democrats are sure ticked this weekend about the FBI’s reopening of their investigation of Hillary Clinton. Normally, news broken on a Friday afternoon is forgotten by the media before the Sunday morning chat shows, but this time the outrage … Continue reading →

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Death, Dying, and Dad

The Gormogons Posted on October 31, 2016 by 'PuterOctober 31, 2016

‘Puter visited his Dad this weekend. As most of you know, ‘Puter’s Dad was diagnosed a year or so ago with primary progressive aphasia (or, dementia, logopenic variant). Basically, Dad is losing his ability to communicate, reason, and do simple … Continue reading →

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Nepotism Run Amok

The Gormogons Posted on October 24, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyOctober 24, 2016

When it comes down to it, there’s only one sport on which the Gormogons agree, and that’s hockey—it’s awesome. The Czar loves baseball, and GorT and Ghettoputer love soccer and there’s not much either of us can do to change … Continue reading →

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Double from the Doublewide

The Gormogons Posted on October 20, 2016 by GorTOctober 20, 2016

JAB writes in from the Doublewide in regards to this post by the Czar and GorT’s response: In order to avoid banishment to a terribly unpleasant place, I must first agree with Your Czarness’ observation that MLB, made up “rivalries” … Continue reading →

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Strike Out

The Gormogons Posted on October 14, 2016 by GorTOctober 14, 2016

From time to time, there are disagreements in the Castle.  One such topic that generates this is the whole baseball and soccer talk.  The Czar recently posted a interesting read – which I agree with in parts – but take … Continue reading →

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National Passed Time

The Gormogons Posted on October 12, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyOctober 12, 2016

The Czar likes baseball and he’s not alone. He’s not one of those Euro-weenies who are into soccer, and who get all aggressive about it because they don’t want to admit, yeah, soccer is a little socialist like nationalised healthcare … Continue reading →

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Running for Precedent

The Gormogons Posted on October 10, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyOctober 10, 2016

The Czar presumes it’s too early to announce eight full years of Hillary Clinton’s oppression as president, but doesn’t see much alternative after this weekend. The Czar, unfortunately, was unable to see last night’s debate as he was attending a … Continue reading →

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A Letter and a Rant

The Gormogons Posted on October 6, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyOctober 6, 2016

Dear Sovereign Czar, I am sorry for not asking about the Цесаревич’s election. I request that my punishment be made in the form of eating re-heated frozen burritos. The cheap kind, too. On a side note, did you see that … Continue reading →

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Repro-debate

The Gormogons Posted on October 5, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyOctober 5, 2016

The vice-presidential debate was certainly better—and more substantive—than the Caddyshack St. Andrew’s dinner dance scene that preceded it. But it won’t make any difference. It’s doubtful anyone on the fence will suddenly switch to supporting Hillary Clinton after watching Sen. … Continue reading →

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The Way the World Works

The Gormogons Posted on October 4, 2016 by GorTOctober 4, 2016

It’s been a bit since GorT posted anything and the Czar’s post yesterday inspired a thought and I think it actually ties in to the national disaster-of-an-election-cycle as well. GorT’s middle child, 2-of-3, is a high school senior.  She is … Continue reading →

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Muscovy Election Update

The Gormogons Posted on October 3, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyOctober 3, 2016

Thanks to all of you who asked about the Цесаревич’s student council presidential campaign. The number of candidates eventually dropped to four: the incumbent SJW, the fashion model boy who only seems to have girls as friends, the basketball girl, … Continue reading →

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A Review of the Almost Debate

The Gormogons Posted on September 27, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovySeptember 27, 2016

Normally, the Czar writes up a debate review for all of those readers who were not watching it; however, from what we understand, you probably did watch it. And why not? Putting Trump against Clinton in an unscripted, unrehearsed context … Continue reading →

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Some Traditions Are Bad. Really Bad.

The Gormogons Posted on September 23, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovySeptember 23, 2016

As one gets older, one tends to skew to a cranky disposition. The Czar was born in the mid-1200s, making him quite old and quite cranky. But that never means he’s wrong, and we do have a bit of a … Continue reading →

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It’s Not Lupus or Sometimes Hoofbeats are from Zebras

The Gormogons Posted on September 18, 2016 by Dr. J.September 19, 2016

Dr. J. would like to apologize for his prolonged absence (except to Fred who probably welcomed Dr. J.’s prolonged absence). The Lil Resident fell ill about two years ago (the first of two major illnesses in two years), right at … Continue reading →

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Long Time No Seethe

The Gormogons Posted on September 18, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovySeptember 18, 2016

You never know who will come walking into the lobby bar at the Castle Gormogon. Hello! I wonder if you all remember me at your site, but I used to write you back when men were men and TVs were … Continue reading →

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‘Puter’s Field Guide to Trump Supporters

The Gormogons Posted on September 13, 2016 by 'PuterSeptember 13, 2016

‘Puter decided he’d give media types a hand in identifying the various subspecies of Trump supporters. Media clearly need ‘Puter’s assistance, because their recent attempts at defining Trump supporters waver between uniformed hilarity and vicious condescension. ‘Puter breaks Trump supporters … Continue reading →

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Everything Sucks, A ‘Puter Rant

The Gormogons Posted on September 12, 2016 by 'PuterSeptember 12, 2016

How the ever-lovin’ f*ck did we get here? There are around 340 million or so Americans, probably 150 million or so of whom could plausibly be president, and moron voters in both parties (and the moron parties themselves) decide to … Continue reading →

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All Politics Are Local. Some More Local Than Others.

The Gormogons Posted on September 8, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovySeptember 8, 2016

The Цесаревич appears to be entering the world of politics, with his declaration yesterday that he intends to run for Student Council President of Muscovy Junior High School. The decision was not reached easily, but was made quickly. Last year, … Continue reading →

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Ghostly Messages

The Gormogons Posted on September 2, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovySeptember 2, 2016

One of the best parts of our day are the crank letters. Because of the nature of this site and the high intelligence level of our readership, we get some superb cranks stopping by. Ghost, for example, has been an … Continue reading →

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Juicy, White Breasts (and How to Conquer Them)

The Gormogons Posted on August 29, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyAugust 29, 2016

The Czar had a break in the weather to get some grilling in this weekend, and elected to do chicken. Grilled chicken, it may surprise some readers, gives a lot of folks fits and starts; indeed, the Czar is often … Continue reading →

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NBC Could Fix Olympic Coverage Easily

The Gormogons Posted on August 23, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyAugust 23, 2016

The Czar was pleased to see that Comcast could barely keep up with demand for streamed Olympic events, and overall ratings for streamed events by other providers was also much higher than expected. Perversely, the Czar was also pleased to … Continue reading →

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On Flags and Firemen

The Gormogons Posted on August 19, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyAugust 19, 2016

But we digress. Certainly, long-time readers here know the loathing animosity the Czar maintains for the liberal media, and is generally exhausted trying to scream at them all the time. Even so, the Czar is quite aware, thank you, that … Continue reading →

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End of Summer Thoughts

The Gormogons Posted on August 17, 2016 by GorTAugust 17, 2016

As GorT’s summer wraps up, he has a few thoughts to share on a variety of random subjects: I-95 is the work of the devil.   Well, not really.  But it sure feels like it.  Actually, the work of the … Continue reading →

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A Word on Gun Control

The Gormogons Posted on August 16, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyAugust 16, 2016

With a Hillary Clinton victory all but assured thanks to her long-time Republican assistant, America should brace for another four eight years of gun control speeches. The Czar doesn’t expect that President Hillary Clinton will be more obnoxious and ill-informed … Continue reading →

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In Which ‘Puter Rants About Sean Hannity

The Gormogons Posted on August 10, 2016 by 'PuterAugust 10, 2016

Sean Hannity is evil. ‘Puter knows. You’re sitting there on the crapper reading our blog on your fancy smart phone, thinking “But ‘Puter, Sean Hannity’s living proof there’s a place in the world for cute short bus kids!” Sure, Hannity’s … Continue reading →

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In Which ‘Puter (Finally) Writes Something Again

The Gormogons Posted on August 10, 2016 by 'PuterAugust 10, 2016

‘Puter hasn’t written much of late, not because there’s nothing to write about, but because there’s too much to write about. Today, ‘Puter shall take a bit of time to bitch about the worst people on the face of the … Continue reading →

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Comcast Olympic Coverage [Updated!]

The Gormogons Posted on August 8, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyAugust 10, 2016

The Czar seems to be enjoying the Olympics this time around more than in recent years. And he knows why. No, it isn’t the hysterical hypocrisy of the Opening Ceremonies lecturing us on environmentalism when Brazil is burning down its … Continue reading →

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Stranger Things

The Gormogons Posted on August 1, 2016 by GorTAugust 1, 2016

First – there are no spoilers in this post. GorT is not a fan of the horror genre per se.  Sure, he’s seen most of the classic horror movies (i.e. The Shining, Poltergeist, The Exorcist, etc.) and some odd ones … Continue reading →

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Guess Who Profits from the Student Loan Crisis

The Gormogons Posted on July 28, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyJuly 28, 2016

Did you know that 93% of the $1.2 trillion student debt is owed to the United States government? Yeah, it turns out that the United States is the biggest student lender by far. Why? Because they’re making a killing: in … Continue reading →

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The Irony of Anarchy

The Gormogons Posted on July 20, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyJuly 20, 2016

The Czar pays attention, for the most part, to the emails and tweets he receives, and notes with some smug pride that many of you have come to appreciate his long-standing observation that the spontaneous rioting that occurs in cities … Continue reading →

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And a “Gor Morgon” to You, Too

The Gormogons Posted on July 18, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyJuly 18, 2016

Our beloved Operative SMR writes in that he and his wife were recently shoplifting in Ikea, and was delighted to find we have a product for sale there. Lest you doubt him, here’s the photo: “I always wondered where you … Continue reading →

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Life Outside the Echo Chamber

The Gormogons Posted on July 12, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyJuly 12, 2016

The Czar and his family spent a wonderful weekend off-line, thank you, at a fantastic and ancient lake home up in Wisconsin with a large group of people. The days were filled with swimming, boating, eating, bonfires, and a hell … Continue reading →

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Bow Before Your Betters!

The Gormogons Posted on July 6, 2016 by GorTJuly 6, 2016

GorT is steamed.  Hopping mad.  P.O.’d  Really f**king angry. This nation has a set of laws.  They should apply equally across everyone – regardless of race, religion, gender, sexual orientation, etc. etc.  So while we’re fighting for equality, we should … Continue reading →

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Scottish or Irish Independence? Not Likely

The Gormogons Posted on June 29, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyJune 29, 2016

Based on the support of England and Wales, Britain voted to leave the European Union. You might have heard about this; it was mentioned at least twice last week on the news. We’re also hearing that Scotland and Northern Ireland … Continue reading →

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The Failure of Liberalism Leads to Illiberalism

The Gormogons Posted on June 29, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyJune 29, 2016

Nihil agis, nihil moliris, nihil cogitas quod non ego non modo audiam sed etiam videam planeque sentiam. Operative B swings by the Castle bar last night but declines to drink anything, He does however throw this out: Your Imperiousness, This … Continue reading →

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Mary Eberstadt is waaay too optimistic (UPDATED: No, she’s not.)

The Gormogons Posted on June 28, 2016 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.June 28, 2016

Based on (Friend of the Gormogons) Jonathan Last’s rave review, I picked up Mary Eberstadt’s It’s Dangerous to Believe: Religious Freedom & its Enemies. I recommend it. I’m a little less overwhelmed than Jonathan was, however, for a reason I’ll … Continue reading →

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Travel Tips for Rio

The Gormogons Posted on June 28, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyJune 28, 2016

The Czar is a giving Czar, and it warms his heart to see someone as famous and respected as Uncle Jay—the Big Guy, and the guy who should have gone into gritty, rage-filled urban hate rap instead of fiber optics—supplicating … Continue reading →

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Illiberalism Worldwide

The Gormogons Posted on June 24, 2016 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.June 24, 2016

Very much worth your while is Sohrab Ahmari’s piece on the rising tide of illiberalism around the world over at Commentary. However, I would add one point that Ahmari largely ignores. While the turn towards community-centric populism, however the community … Continue reading →

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Staining the Rug

The Gormogons Posted on June 23, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyJune 23, 2016

The Czar has written a lot of great stuff over the years, all of which has been useful to you, and some of which probably saved your lives. Like today: the Czar woke up and realized you need to read … Continue reading →

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Hitch-hiking Minimum Wage

The Gormogons Posted on June 17, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyJune 20, 2016

The Czar finally figured out some stuff about the demand to raise the minimum wage. The Czar has explained why raising the minimum wage always hurts before, and who’s behind the whole scam, so he won’t go into that again. … Continue reading →

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In Which the Czar Loses His Cool. More.

The Gormogons Posted on June 17, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyJune 17, 2016

Operative B writes in, expressing a concern shared by millions right now: Your Greatness, This lowly one comes before you and begs permission to make an observation about some horrors in recent American history. But not the reason or ideology … Continue reading →

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The Scam Behind Raising the Minimum Wag

The Gormogons Posted on June 17, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyJune 10, 2017

The Czar finally figured out some stuff about the demand to raise the minimum wage. The Czar has explained why raising the minimum wage always hurts before, and who’s behind the whole scam, so he won’t go into that again. … Continue reading →

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Unappealing

The Gormogons Posted on June 10, 2016 by GorTJune 10, 2016

GorT has made it pretty clear that most of the GOP candidates that were in the campaign weren’t appealing and Donald Trump is no different.  I believe he’s a clown that enjoys the spotlight of attention.  I’m sure he has … Continue reading →

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Trump v Clinton: How they Compare

The Gormogons Posted on June 9, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyJune 9, 2016

It’s getting harder and harder to look forward to a 2016 election. You know, it’s been a very long time since both parties put up utter losers while the other party was so vulnerable. This should have been a cakewalk … Continue reading →

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The Czar Explains Parallel Parking

The Gormogons Posted on June 4, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyJune 4, 2016

Not much provocation is required to launch the Czar into a rant about people’s driving habits. Likely, you share as much loathing for the typical driver as does the Czar. Indeed, some years ago, we suggested that the perfect intelligence … Continue reading →

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Hey Millennials: Stop Snapchatting and Read This

The Gormogons Posted on June 3, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyJune 3, 2016

Opinions on the Millennial generation vary here at the Castle. The Czar is a bit fascinated with generational psychology (and even prepared a handy guide for you all), and takes a more favorable view of this group than some of … Continue reading →

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Transgender Male Bag

The Gormogons Posted on June 2, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyJune 2, 2016

A couple of grabs from the mail bag today, and up first is Operative SMR, who used to write in quite a bit before he got bored with us: Dear The Czar, Thank you for your encouraging alert on the … Continue reading →

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Next Bond or Jane Bond?

The Gormogons Posted on May 25, 2016 by GorTMay 25, 2016

Can we get past the, “<Insert female actress’ name here> should be the next Bond.” movement? First, are there no creative writers out there that can’t write a female spy-action movie script?  Maybe they could even borrow largely from the James … Continue reading →

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Critics Hate Criticism

The Gormogons Posted on May 24, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyMay 24, 2016

Backlash can be a good thing, which is wonderful because there has been so much of that lately. Yes, you’re well aware of how Target’s stock prices have been negatively affected by their un-PR decision to remove the figurative doors … Continue reading →

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Obama’s Pathetic Legacy

The Gormogons Posted on May 14, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyMay 14, 2016

The Czar has mentioned before that President Obama is obsessed with his own self-importance, and in particular what legacy he will leave. As Obama enters the twilight of his presidency, it is now clear what he has chosen it to … Continue reading →

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Free Willy: Trannies in the Ladies’ Crapper

The Gormogons Posted on May 9, 2016 by 'PuterMay 9, 2016

President Obama’s Department of “Justice” sent North Carolina a letter last week defending the rights of the mentally ill to piss and crap wherever zhey want because Title VII and Title IX, or something.* As all other problems of note … Continue reading →

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The Czar Reviews Another Marvel Movie

The Gormogons Posted on May 7, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyMay 7, 2016

Due to a rare confluence of fortunate circumstances, the Czar managed to see a tentpole Hollywood blockbuster—Captain America: Civil War—on its opening night. Surprisingly, the theater was full but not crowded, and we were able to get very good seats, … Continue reading →

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Nice Work, GorT

The Gormogons Posted on May 6, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyMay 6, 2016

Thanks to all the loyal readers who peppered the Czar with concerns and complaints about our site’s performance recently. The Czar wants you to know that (a) he reads every one of them and (b) he’s not the freaking technical … Continue reading →

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No Class

The Gormogons Posted on May 3, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyMay 3, 2016

The Czar loathes, as you know, the media, particularly when they attempt to discuss scientific stories they haven’t really studied. Today, we find another example: a story is circulating around the news wires (many of these stories were written by … Continue reading →

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Feels like the end of the world some days.

The Gormogons Posted on May 1, 2016 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.May 1, 2016

Johnny Cash is here to help. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153

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Posted in Club Gormogon

Going to the Mattresses

The Gormogons Posted on April 29, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 29, 2016

Odds are you probably don’t want to be like the Czar. But if you are, you probably drive around your neighborhood, look at the scenery around you, and prudently wonder “What the hell is with all these mattress stores?” Gone … Continue reading →

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Whither NATO?

The Gormogons Posted on April 22, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 22, 2016

The Czar hasn’t been neglecting his mail, but the question below was a pretty tough one from Operative B. Donald Trump, despite all his massive failures as a logician, poses a reasonable question: why not just chuck NATO, or at … Continue reading →

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The Jungle Book is a Masterpiece

The Gormogons Posted on April 17, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 17, 2016

Much to the Czar’s astonishment, he went to a movie today in a real theater without having studied reviews of the film in advance. This is normally a massive no-no, but the Czar already had high expectations for The Jungle … Continue reading →

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Ubi Pluit, Effluit

The Gormogons Posted on April 6, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2016

When it rains, it pours. Around some cerebral circles in the conservative corners, a discussion about UBI is circulating. Shorthand for Universal Basic Income, it’s an approach being seriously considered by a handful of European countries as a wholesale substitute … Continue reading →

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Selecting a Grill

The Gormogons Posted on April 4, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 4, 2016

It’s basically grilling season at last—although here in Muscovy the weather remains detrimental to good grilling. However, this delay shall be measured in days and the Czar, naturally, is quite excited. As grilling season kicks off, the Czar wants to … Continue reading →

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Consistency

The Gormogons Posted on April 4, 2016 by GorTApril 4, 2016

GorT is an engineer – he enjoys building and fixing things: software, hardware, woodworking, etc.  In that light, GorT relishes consistency.  From his Jesuit education, an inconsistent platform or argument was always viewed as an easy target. So with the … Continue reading →

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The Lady Protests Too Much, Methinks

The Gormogons Posted on March 30, 2016 by GorTMarch 30, 2016

Apologies to William Shakespeare, but this quote from Hamlet, Act III, Scene 2 might be apropos for Ms. Jill Abramson, former NYT Editor who penned this opinion piece in The Guardian.  The premise: Hillary Clinton is fundamentally honest and trustworthy. Given … Continue reading →

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How Brussels Sprouts Terror Cells

The Gormogons Posted on March 24, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyMarch 24, 2016

The Czar wishes to offend everybody today. Obviously, the dead of Brussels are a tragedy, and the wounded have our strongest hopes for a full recovery. The Czar does not intend to mock them, but will certainly criticize the hell … Continue reading →

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The Humiliated, the Leader, and the Strength to be Alone—a timely piece

The Gormogons Posted on March 21, 2016 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.March 21, 2016

So I ran across this in my missalette for Palm Sunday. I don’t know if the editors are making an oblique political commentary, but it jumped out at me. I’ve removed some of the specifically theological content for emphasis. Thronging … Continue reading →

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America, God, Mother: Once Upon A Time, Not Ironic Punchlines…

The Gormogons Posted on March 17, 2016 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.March 17, 2016

I was listening to Bill Kristol talk to Robert Putnam about what’s gone wrong in the country over the past few decades (you should too), and I thought of three things that they touched on only lightly if at all. … Continue reading →

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The Czar Rages on Conservative Voters

The Gormogons Posted on March 17, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyMarch 17, 2016

One of the more reliable vanities that conservatives have always enjoyed is that, despite the ceaseless contradiction from the Left, conservatives are a smart, practical, intelligent bunch of people. After all, it has been said repeatedly, conservatives think with their … Continue reading →

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America, the Broken-ful

The Gormogons Posted on March 11, 2016 by 'PuterMarch 11, 2016

America’s broken, and it’s not the rabble’s fault. Quite the opposite, in fact. Who broke America? Smug bureaucrats, smirking media types (print, radio, and TV), condescending professoriate, and detached politicians of both parties broke it. How did they break America? … Continue reading →

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Castle Cleaning

The Gormogons Posted on March 10, 2016 by GorTMarch 10, 2016

MEMO To:  Castle Guests, Minions, Operatives From: GorT Re:  Castle Cleaning This memorandum is to serve notice that the Castle will be undergoing some routine cleaning tomorrow afternoon (Friday, March 11th, EST).  Nothing major, just some light dusting, vacuuming, and … Continue reading →

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A Deeper Pool

The Gormogons Posted on March 10, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyMarch 10, 2016

Operative SM writes in with a sadly true observation: Dearest Czar, Having occupied one of the reddest of red counties in Illinois I am disturbed to no end by our current situation, and no, not on the national stage, but … Continue reading →

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Dealing with Trump: A Voter’s Guide

The Gormogons Posted on March 7, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyMarch 7, 2016

The Czar lives in a heavily Republican enclave in a deeply red county in Illinois; in fact, the Mandarin and the Czar often trade jibes with each other over whose home county is more conservative. It’s pretty much a tie. … Continue reading →

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Spotlight on Bhutan

The Gormogons Posted on March 4, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyMarch 7, 2016

The Czar has been a big supporter of Bhutan since he first thought about it, around five minutes ago. Bhutan is a large country just to the right of Turkey, or at least that’s how it looked on Google Maps … Continue reading →

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Overheard Last Night

The Gormogons Posted on February 29, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyFebruary 29, 2016

“Gambling Hotline. My name is Josh; to whom am I speaking?” “Yeah, hi, putz. My name is Ghettoputer Gormogon, and I’m sitting at the Leaping Peacock’s video blackjack machines. I’m about $300 in the hole, here, and I noticed your … Continue reading →

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Debate Roundup: Too Little, Too Late?

The Gormogons Posted on February 26, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyFebruary 26, 2016

At this point, it is a three-person race. Dr. Ben Carson continues on his book tour, enjoying the limelight but not sure what to do with it. He’s contributing nothing at this point. Gov. John Kasich at this point is … Continue reading →

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A secret society dedicated to the restoration of the Kingdom of Poland-Lithuania, the imprisonment of Esperanto speakers, and furthering the eschatological doctrine of the Return from Occultation of the Thirteenth Imam, Val Kilmer. Seriously, what happened to that guy? He was awesome in Tombstone. ایمام سیزدهم

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