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Monthly Archives: February 2014

The Gormogons’ Position on Crimea

The Gormogons Posted on February 28, 2014 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 6, 2014

Mengli I Giray(r. 1466, 1469–1475, 1478–1515) Our position remains unchanged. We support the immediate and unconditional restoration of the Jochid Giray Khans. As ever, the world needs the Altan Uruk. Confucius, Œc. Vol., posting for Gormogon Prince Tochmas (Toqtamysh Khan). … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized

Rant: ‘Puter’s Problem With The Tea Party, And With Twitter Generally

The Gormogons Posted on February 28, 2014 by 'PuterApril 6, 2014

This is what many of you come across as on Twitter. Smart choice, because people are totally way more convinced at the merits of your argument when you’re yelling at and belittling them. ‘Puter got in a bit of a … Continue reading →

Posted in 'Puter's Always Right, Civilization and Barbarism, Rant, Stupid People, Tea Party, Twitter

Bombs Away!

The Gormogons Posted on February 28, 2014 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Long-time Operative erc comments: “Operative KH, who is in charge of our moon cratering project“….congratulations, Your Czarness. It’s working! / erc Is it ever! Check out some video: What’s great for the Czar, personally, is not so much the incredible … Continue reading →

Posted in Gormogon Operatives, Mailbag, Minions, Moon

Headlines 101

The Gormogons Posted on February 27, 2014 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Imagine a candidate named Fields. Fields can be a man or a woman, a president, representative or a senator, federal-level or state-level, a Democrat or Republican. If Fields were a major player, and the news stories were written a certain … Continue reading →

Posted in Democrats, Journalism, Main Stream Media, Media, Media Bias, Republicans

NPR: Crazy Right Wingers or Broken Clocks?

The Gormogons Posted on February 27, 2014 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Yesterday you learned that in space, no one can hear you scream, unless you’re Hello Kitty. Today, or friends at NPR, YES OUR FRIENDS AT NPR posted this at their blog. Hermiting is really working out for the Hermit Kingdom … Continue reading →

Posted in Capitalism, China, Communism, North Korea, NPR, South Korea

The State of Facebook

The Gormogons Posted on February 26, 2014 by GorTApril 6, 2014

I don’t know about our readers and the other castle inhabitants* but lately I’ve started noticing a trend with my “newsfeed” on Facebook.  Basically, I can categorize my Facebook connections into one of a few buckets: 1.  The Occasional Poster … Continue reading →

Posted in Facebook

One Night in Bangkok (Seoul, Really): Operative JAB’s Mission Update

The Gormogons Posted on February 26, 2014 by 'PuterApril 6, 2014

Operative JAB writes in from her secret overseas assignment.  While in transit, posing as part of Dennis Rodman’s posse heading to Pyongyang for some quality time with the Little Dictator, Operative JAB managed to surreptitiously snap this picture: As JAB … Continue reading →

Posted in 'Puter, Gormogon Operatives, Hello Kitty, Operative JAB, South Korea

In Space, No One Can Hear You Scream…

The Gormogons Posted on February 26, 2014 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

…unless you’re Hello Kitty! The horror…the horror… Dr. J.

Continue reading →
Posted in Aliens, And yet she must scream, H.R.Giger, Hello Kitty

“The Man” Isn’t To Blame For All Failures: Education Edition

The Gormogons Posted on February 25, 2014 by 'PuterApril 6, 2014

It’s always convenient to blame your personal failures on an omnipotent-yet-nebulous third party. As a representative of middle aged, taxpaying white guys with jobs, ‘Puter shares our happiness you have found a way to work us in to your pathological denial … Continue reading →

Posted in Education, Epic Fail, New York Post, Teacher Unions, Teachers

Cleaning Out the Mailbox

The Gormogons Posted on February 25, 2014 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Mail for the Czar today. Operative KH, who is in charge of our moon cratering project, writes in to clarify: Dread Czar, I believe the one who was supposed to be in the truck the LAPD was looking for was … Continue reading →

Posted in Doublewide, Law Enforcement, Mailbag, Media Bias, Shooting, Shooting First, Thailand, Vietnam

Guest Postcard from Bangkok

The Gormogons Posted on February 24, 2014 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

The following essay is a guest post from JAB, at the Double-Wide. We remind our readers that you are welcome to submit your thoughts either as an email or as a complete essay. Dear Readers, Hope you’ll pardon an AWOL … Continue reading →

Posted in Doublewide, Guest Writer, New York Times - NYT, Thailand

An Open Letter to Referees…

The Gormogons Posted on February 23, 2014 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Let the kids play, and call the games straight Gentle Readers, Dr. J. always believed that referees are best not noticed. Invisibility correlates with quality officiating, especially in high stakes settings. There are two example that he would like to … Continue reading →

Posted in Basketball, Hockey, Liberal Fascism, Lil Medstudent, Olympics, The Obama Amateur Hour

Weasel Polls

The Gormogons Posted on February 23, 2014 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

And now, our question of the day: Most dread, awful and snowbound Czar: I’m taking a rest from any strident advocacy of causes for a moment. I still intend to maintain my pastime of firing homing torpedoes of truth into … Continue reading →

Posted in Island Dweller, Lies Damned Lies and Statistics, Lies Lies and More Damn Lies, Polls

That Doesn’t Stink

The Gormogons Posted on February 22, 2014 by GorTApril 6, 2014

A number of years ago, the DC Metro area began experiencing a rise in stinkbugs (brown marmorated stink bugs to be specific).  It is native to China, Korea, Japan and Taiwan.  Initially, there were no natural predators and any sort … Continue reading →

Posted in This bug really stinks

How to Buy LED Bulbs

The Gormogons Posted on February 22, 2014 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Several decades ago, the Czar was nice enough to explain the different types of light bulbs now that incandescents are no longer being manufactured. Since then, to his surprise, the sale of LED bulbs has really taken off to the … Continue reading →

Posted in Lightbulbs

Shootouts and Training

The Gormogons Posted on February 21, 2014 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

A quick followup on a topic that got some serious reads—the anatomy of police shootouts. Your Immensity; I’m well aware of human stress reactions (trying being 17, scared of heights, and being one of two Air Force pukes in Army … Continue reading →

Posted in Firearms, Guns, Law Enforcement, Mailbag, Physiology, Retired Spook, Shooting, Shooting First

Mailbag – old New York was once New Amsterdam

The Gormogons Posted on February 20, 2014 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

The Retired Spook writes: Dear Dr. J; I don’t suppose I could prevail upon your inherent good nature to have Mandy target the Anti-Snow Ray about 100 miles further south, could I?  It’s nothing personal, but growing up in Alabama, … Continue reading →

Posted in Gormogon Operatives, Mark Spahn, New Amsterdam, New Atlantis, New York, Retired Spook

Break up the States?

The Gormogons Posted on February 19, 2014 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Gentle Readers, Dr. J. saw this article in the Washington Times, in which a movement is described proposing to have upstate New York* secede from greater NYC. This would be a partial secession as partitioned upstate and NYC would be … Continue reading →

Posted in 'Puter, Freedom, New York, Princeton, Secession

Being Liberal Means Never Having To Say You’re Sorry

The Gormogons Posted on February 19, 2014 by 'PuterApril 6, 2014

Except for the Black kid, every one of the people in this picture is to blame for Obamacare’s abject failure to deliver anything it promised. Actually, being liberal means never having to acknowledge your policies have tradeoffs. At least until … Continue reading →

Posted in Barack Obama, Democrats, ObamaCare, Stupid Politicians, Suck It Czar

Shoot Outs

The Gormogons Posted on February 19, 2014 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

This little note from the Retired Spook has much to unpack: Your Immensity: A recent news article seems to indicate that 103 rounds were fired by eight officers into a newspaper delivery truck. If memory serves, the range-to-contact was less … Continue reading →

Posted in Firearms, Guns, Law Enforcement, Mailbag, Physiology, Retired Spook, Shooting, Shooting First

Why Of Course Taxpayers Will Foot The Bill For This!

The Gormogons Posted on February 18, 2014 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Operative BJ writes in with alarming news: Hey, you in the chair! Operative BJ is happy to have you and you and you pay for him to enjoy his 8-week tanning treatment through your tax dollars. And no, Operative BJ … Continue reading →

Posted in Government Run Healthcare, Health care, Insurance, Mailbag, Medicine, ObamaCare, Operative BJ, Pop Psychology, Psychology, Snow

Dr. J. found the moguls a little slow…

The Gormogons Posted on February 17, 2014 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Nothing like a little armored hellfire to spice up the games… Dr. J.

Continue reading →
Posted in AT AT, Dr. J., Evil Empire, This Olympics Really Sucks

Lots of Gun News

The Gormogons Posted on February 15, 2014 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

A falcon left a dead mouse on our windowsill yesterday. As the Czar went to flick it off the sill down into the guest parking lot, the Czar noticed a small note tied to its leg. Indeed, the note read … Continue reading →

Posted in Birds, Courts, Firearms, Guns, Mailbag, Second Amendment, Supreme Court, The Czar of Muscovy, U.S. Constitution

Mission Accomplished

The Gormogons Posted on February 15, 2014 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

To: The Inscrutible Mandarin From: Dr. J.  Re: Operation Snowdome Dear Mandy: The Orbiting Anti-Snow Ray works! New Atlantis remains snow-free! Suck it Atlanta! Best, Dr. J.  Dr. J.

Continue reading →
Posted in Dr. J., Gormogonica, Mandarin, Snow

The Terrierists win, or What does the Fox Terrier say?

The Gormogons Posted on February 14, 2014 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Gentle Readers, We have a winner in the Westminster Dog Show, and the Best in Show was a Fox Terrier named Sky. The Terrier mafia strike again. Her time down the hill wasn’t the best, but her reverse triple copter … Continue reading →

Posted in Dogs Are Better Than Cats, Lady J., Loki J., Retired Spook, Westminster Dog Show

Gun Control Has a Duty to Retreat

The Gormogons Posted on February 14, 2014 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Did you hear that the Left has totally lost the gun control argument? No? Let us catch up. For years, in nearly every location, if you wanted to carry a firearm on you, you had to have a license or … Continue reading →

Posted in Courts, Firearms, Gun control, Gun Ownership, Guns, Rights, Second Amendment, Supreme Court

National Service: Closing Thoughts

The Gormogons Posted on February 13, 2014 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Island Dweller rests his case on national service by linking up Operative BJ’s observations. Most August Majesty: I thought the topic had been laid to rest, however, Operative BJ’s comments are too good to pass up. I couldn’t have expressed … Continue reading →

Posted in Island Dweller, Mailbag, Mandatory Service, Operative BJ, Operative Infighting

Obamacare is Dead. Alas, Long Live Obamacare Until Then.

The Gormogons Posted on February 12, 2014 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Hey, in case you missed it because the media cannot comprehend the impact of it, Obamacare died Monday afternoon. Basically, this is true. Before you get overwhelmed with optimism and put on your Ronald Reagan straw hats and fire up … Continue reading →

Posted in 2016 Election, Barack Obama, Government Run Healthcare, ObamaCare

Olympics – GorT Update #1

The Gormogons Posted on February 12, 2014 by GorTApril 6, 2014

Dr. J is not the only Olympics aficionado in the Castle.  GorT loves him some Olympics…especially the Winter Olympics.  The Summer is cool – you get some of GorT’s favorites like soccer, archery, shooting (the last two getting hardly any … Continue reading →

Posted in Olympics

Mailbag – Bag-o-pups Edition

The Gormogons Posted on February 11, 2014 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Gentle Readers, In addition to the Olympics, the Westminster Dog Show is taking place! That’s an event that will never be hosted in Sochi, for very obvious reasons, including the fact that the Venn diagram of dog show people and … Continue reading →

Posted in Conspiracy theories from Saturn, Dogs Are Better Than Cats, Dr. J. Style, Lady J., Loki J., Media Bias, Mrs. Dr. J., Retired Spook, The Czar, Westminster Dog Show

Four Views on Obamacare

The Gormogons Posted on February 11, 2014 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Island Dweller presents with an exchange between him and his Esteemed Associate: Your esteemed majesty: Your minion here on the Island express-shipped Lobot-Ami back to EA in a heated crate to avoid our feathered friend becoming frostbitten, or hitching a … Continue reading →

Posted in Government Run Healthcare, Island Dweller, John Roberts, ObamaCare, Operative BJ

In Which Your Gormogons Choose Valentine’s Day Cards For Their Loved Ones

The Gormogons Posted on February 10, 2014 by 'PuterApril 6, 2014

‘Puter’s favorite day of the year is rapidly approaching.* Valentine’s Day! ‘Puter’s already picked out cards for the special people in his life, as have the rest of your Gormogons. ‘Puter’s glad to share our selections with you, provided you … Continue reading →

Posted in Gormogonica, Suck It Czar, Valentine's Day

Closing Thoughts on Quasi-Non-Drafts

The Gormogons Posted on February 10, 2014 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Before we get too far away from the original debate, Operative BJ sent us his closing thoughts about six days ago. But the Czar was busy, you know, what with trying on hats and getting the Castle dormitory television to … Continue reading →

Posted in Gormogon Operatives, Mailbag, Mandatory Service, Operative Infighting

Dr. J. Reflects on the Opening Ceremonies

The Gormogons Posted on February 9, 2014 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Flame on! Gentle Readers, As you know, Dr. J. is the Olympics aficionado of the group. He would have posted this sooner, but he watched the Opening Ceremonies DVR’d as it was Senior Night for the Bene Gesserit Witches basketball … Continue reading →

Posted in 'Puter, Dr. J. Style, GorT, This Olympics Really Sucks

Strangely, the Plateau of Leng was not included…

The Gormogons Posted on February 9, 2014 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Created by Chris Kolmar and our new friends at Movoto and also featured at Geeks are Sexy: The nice thing about pocket dimensions is that they’re bigger on the inside… h/t Movoto.com Dr. J.

Continue reading →
Posted in Castle Gormogon, Humor, Scum and Villainy

Don’t Mess with the USA!

The Gormogons Posted on February 8, 2014 by GorTApril 6, 2014

See what happens when a USA bobsledder gets mad: Well, actually, it’s what happens when they get locked/stuck in the shower without their phone.  ‘Puter does this all the time.  We’re considering making his bathroom door a screendoor. GorTGorT is … Continue reading →

Posted in Olympics

How Things Work: The Obamas’ Likability

The Gormogons Posted on February 8, 2014 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Dr. J., as you know, is not a fan of the Obama administration, but in addition to good willed disagreements with the President on policy, his perception of the President and the First Lady, is that they do not strike … Continue reading →

Posted in Abortion, HHS Mandate, Low Information Voters, NRO, Propaganda, The Michelle Obama Amateur Hour, The Obama Amateur Hour

Mailbag: What Texas Thinks

The Gormogons Posted on February 8, 2014 by The Czar of MuscovyJune 5, 2020

Lest you doubt our power, understand that the reach of the Gormogons extends everywhere. Yes, even Aisle 17 of Wal-Mart, where they sell those tiki torches. But you might ask whether our reach includes some of the more remote parts, … Continue reading →

Posted in 2014 Election, Democrats, Texas

NYT’s Editors Lie To Preserve Your Right To Pay For Sandra Fluke’s Birth Control

The Gormogons Posted on February 7, 2014 by 'PuterApril 6, 2014

Is there anything liberals care about more than “women’s health,” meaning “not having babies, by any means necessary?” If there is, ‘Puter hasn’t found it yet.  This singular focus on abortion and birth control can be seen in this nonsensical … Continue reading →

Posted in Abortion, Birth Control, Liberals, New York Times - NYT, ObamaCare, Stupid People, Supreme Court

Player One…..Begin!

The Gormogons Posted on February 7, 2014 by GorTApril 6, 2014

A cor-worker of GorT sent this link along.  Pretty darn funny.  Click the image to continue… GorTGorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal expensive technology from the future and return it to the … Continue reading →

Posted in GorT

Sochi 2014: We’ll have a gay old time!

The Gormogons Posted on February 7, 2014 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

“The practice of sport is a human right. Every individual must have the possibility of practicing sport, without discrimination of any kind and in the Olympic spirit, which requires mutual understanding with a spirit of friendship, solidarity and fair play.” … Continue reading →

Posted in Gay Pride, Google, Luge, Olympics, Putin that Chekist хуй, The Obama Amateur Hour

Browser Issues?

The Gormogons Posted on February 7, 2014 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

The Castle IT Department received this odd nutter last night: Your Imperial Majesty, Prince of DuPage, Emir of Eau Claire, Czar of Muscovy, Begging Your Cruelty’s pardon, but I’ve only recently noticed that Firefox displays the site’s contributor list as … Continue reading →

Posted in ScottO, Technology, Teh Intarweb, This browser really sucks, way too much technology

If They Had Better Candidates…

The Gormogons Posted on February 6, 2014 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

The campaign of Wendy Davis has gone beyond the comical to the outright horrific. Political science students really ought to study it, from its initial sensationalism of vagina costumes and tampon throwers and chants of “Hail Satan,” all the way … Continue reading →

Posted in 2012 Election, 2014 Election, 2016 Election, Democrats, Election, Republicans

Dr. J. never thought he’d say this…

The Gormogons Posted on February 5, 2014 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

It’s been a rough couple of weeks for New Yorkers under the reign of former Sandinista fundraiser, Mayor deBlasio. Horse drawn carriages are on their way out, unless city council continues to stall the issue.  The first big blizzard of … Continue reading →

Posted in Bill de Blasio, Michael Bloomberg, New York

Re: STEM and Slackers

The Gormogons Posted on February 5, 2014 by GorTApril 6, 2014

During today’s newsfeed review, GorT came across this tidbit in the Washington Post’s Business section: Armed with a meaningless bachelor’s degree from colleges and universities that allowed majors in non-core subjects, we see youngsters who cannot write, research or think … Continue reading →

Posted in GorT, Millenials, Time Wasting

Truman and Korea

The Gormogons Posted on February 5, 2014 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Island Dweller has some thoughts on the Czar’s mercurial rant on Korea: Most esteemed Czar A close examination of the photo of that poor man on that lonely Korean hilltop will disclose some deep slash wounds on the palm of … Continue reading →

Posted in Communism, Defense spending, Democrats, Harry Truman, Island Dweller, Korean War, Mailbag, Military, North Korea, South Korea, Stupidity

If A Meeting Were A Conference Call

The Gormogons Posted on February 5, 2014 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

The Czar has never witnessed a more accurate video. This is so accurate it is positively painful. Know who found this for us? Borepatch. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The … Continue reading →

Posted in Borepatch, Business, Real World, You Tube

PBS or CBS

The Gormogons Posted on February 4, 2014 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Gentle Readers, Back in the day, a lot of prime time programming was within the same continuity. For example, the Fonz was friends with Laverne and Shirley, and ran into Mork from Ork. Facts of Life was a Diff’rent Strokes … Continue reading →

Posted in Benedict Cumberbatch, Math class is hard, No Shit Sherlock, PBS, Sesame Street

Encouraging STEM

The Gormogons Posted on February 4, 2014 by GorTApril 6, 2014

GorT spoke at his son’s school’s Career Day last week.  After years of hiring (or trying) people in the computer science field and getting quite a broad set of experiences dealing with them, GorT had enough and decided that there … Continue reading →

Posted in Education, GorT, Math class is hard, way too much technology, Women

Want Free Travel? Beat Up A Terrorist

The Gormogons Posted on February 4, 2014 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Operative BJ reminds the Czar why the latter so hates traveling by air. Honestly, at this point, you would rather discover your air plans consisted of ‘Puter wearing a hard hat at the edge of a cliff while sporting large … Continue reading →

Posted in Airline safety, Etruscan for Business Travellers, Operative BJ

Mailbag – Blasts from the Past

The Gormogons Posted on February 3, 2014 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Operative SMC writes after a stint in deep cover: Dr. J,  It’s been a couple of years since I last wrote: kids can have that effect as I’m sure you know. Bill Vallicella (maverick philosopher) linked to his friend. I’ve … Continue reading →

Posted in Gay Marriage, Gormogon Operatives, Lady J., Loki J., Mailbag, Operative SMC, Retired Spook, Unam sanctam catholicam apostolicam ecclesiam

Harry and Ike

The Gormogons Posted on February 3, 2014 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Island Dweller offers a closing argument for his position on national service: Most esteemed majesty – You are correct in your position what I am proposing re: Universal Military Service is an impossibility at this time. It is impossible because … Continue reading →

Posted in Dwight Eisenhower, Harry Truman, Island Dweller, Mailbag, Mandatory Service, Retired Spook

Korea

The Gormogons Posted on February 2, 2014 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

A side-note from another topic prompted the Retired Spook to write this on a cinder block that was chucked through the window and hit Sleestak square in the chest, as if it had been precisely timed and aimed. Retired Spook … Continue reading →

Posted in History, Korean War, Mailbag, Military, North Korea, Retired Spook, South Korea, The ’70s—Nadir of American History

Operative BJ: On Patriotism

The Gormogons Posted on February 2, 2014 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

The Czar continues to hear back from Operative BJ, Retired Spook, and Island Dweller about national service. Come to think of it, the Czar seems to get a lot of letters from retired guys. The Czar is worried he’s going … Continue reading →

Posted in Mailbag, Mandatory Service, Operative BJ, Patriotism

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