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Last Email of 2011? Twas a Good One.

The Gormogons Posted on December 31, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

LittleRed1 sent the Czar an unbroken paragraph (but not all in upper case) regarding the Virginia GOP, whom by now you know are evil bastards. LittleRed1 writes (with our edits): Oh great and powerful Czar, As your mightiness no doubt … Continue reading →

Posted in 2012 Election, Election, Mailbag, Virginia, Voting

Virginia GOP: You Are Evil Bastards

The Gormogons Posted on December 30, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Bizarre what’s been going on with the Virginia Republican Party. But unfortunately explicable. In most states, you can get yourself put on a presidential ballot with only about 5,000 signatures. This seems reasonable, so that you can weed out nonsense … Continue reading →

Posted in 2012 Election, Corruption, Election, Republicans, Virginia

Graveyard Math

The Gormogons Posted on December 29, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Obama’s campaign manager says that the President’s billion-dollar war chest isn’t the result of big business bribes, but ordinary Democrats kicking in $3 or $5 donations. There are 72 million registered Democrats in the United States. A billion dollars divided … Continue reading →

Posted in 2012 Election, Barack Obama, Democrat consistency, Democrats, Election

We Have Obtained Holder Memo

The Gormogons Posted on December 29, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

A lot of us are wondering about Eric Holder’s depth of involvement in Fast and Furious, and exactly what he authorized. We finally obtained the authorization in question, which his office released moments ago: From: Eric Holder, Attorney General, United … Continue reading →

Posted in Eric Holder, Government Secrets, Gun control

Course Correction

The Gormogons Posted on December 29, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Do we not have super-smart readers? Check out this important course correction from Operative B2. Oh Dread Lord of the Castle Gormogon,Exalted knower of many things, Permit me to make a slight correction to your description of the chain of … Continue reading →

Posted in Gormogon Operatives, Joint Chiefs of Staff, Military, President, United States Air Force

AH on Independent Voters

The Gormogons Posted on December 28, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

AH writes in with what the Czar thinks is absolutely polished, spot-on thinking. Please read this carefully, because he hits all the notes the Czar would be aiming for in future essays: Dread Czar, Liked your piece last night. It … Continue reading →

Posted in 2012 Election, Election, Friedrich Hayek, Mailbag, Voting

Endless Droning?

The Gormogons Posted on December 28, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

The Czar has trouble following the right-wing and left-wing media’s competing narratives about President Obama’s (over-)reliance on drone attacks. The left is worried he is getting too bloodthirsty. The right has a dual message: first, this was actually a Bush … Continue reading →

Posted in Barack Obama, Joint Chiefs of Staff, Military, Predator Drone, United States Air Force

Why the Candidates Stink

The Gormogons Posted on December 28, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

As Newt Gingrich and Ron Paul turn the heat up on each other, it has become clear that neither man is destined nor desirable to become President. A cakewalk for Mitt Romney? Not so fast—a quick scan of some recent … Continue reading →

Posted in 2012 Election, Democrats, Election, Republicans, Voting

I’ll see your preggie pops and raise you…

The Gormogons Posted on December 27, 2011 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Dread and Awful Czar, Dr. J. accepts your bet with relish. Should his beloved Philadelphia Flyers defeat the mighty Blackhawks, Dr. J. requests, in addition to the aforementioned Mallort-favored Preggie-Pops, a five course dinner for four, with wild boar as … Continue reading →

Posted in Blackhawks, Flyers, Gormogon Infighting

The Gauntlet is Thrown

The Gormogons Posted on December 27, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Thursday, January 5th, the Chicago Blackhawks are scheduled to arrive in Philadelphia to play Dr. J’s beloved Flyers. Because the Hawks don’t play the Predators (Doc’s other favorite team) until January 24th, the Czar is inclined to invite Dr. J. … Continue reading →

Posted in Gormogon Infighting, Hockey

Satellite Mail UPDATED

The Gormogons Posted on December 27, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Who disturbs the Czar’s presence amidst Plants vs. Zombies? Why, two quick emails on Hexagon. The first is actually an interoffice from GorT, which when compiled says that he had a family member work on that very project, and said … Continue reading →

Posted in Mailbag, Math class is hard, Orbiting Mind Control Satellites, Satellite Technology, Space

Just Sayin’

The Gormogons Posted on December 26, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Evidently, Fox News says the truth can be told on a now-revealed Cold War spy satellite. Joseph Prusak, 76, spent six months [working on it]. When he was finally briefed on [Project] Hexagon, Prusak, who had worked as an engineer … Continue reading →

Posted in Cold War, Fox News, Math class is hard, Orbiting Mind Control Satellites, Satellite Technology

A White House Christmas: Silent Cal Style

The Gormogons Posted on December 25, 2011 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Merry Christmas, Gentle Readers! Dr. J. and your Gormogons are enjoying Christmas today with Christmas Mass (we actually took in the children’s vigil yesterday afternoon where the Lil Med Student brought up the baby Jesus and laid Him in the … Continue reading →

Posted in Calvin Coolidge, Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas, and We Mean Everyone!

The Gormogons Posted on December 25, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Merry Christmas. It is a beautiful morning, no matter what. The Gormogons are very excited, and you can see us all gathered around the tree opening our gifts. Your Œcumenical Volgi, or 孔夫子, for those who came in late, or … Continue reading →

Posted in Castle Gormogon, Friend of Gormogons, Gormogon Operatives, Gormogonica, Gormogons, Holidays, Merry Christmas, Minions

The Sidekicks’ Christmas Trees

The Gormogons Posted on December 24, 2011 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Given how infected with the Christmas spirit your Gormogons are this year, with GorT’s Advent Calendar, Dr. J.’s Christmas singles, Volgi’s Christmas albums, and other various and sundry Chrismassy posts past, present, and yet to come…Dr. J. doubts you could … Continue reading →

Posted in 2-1B, Castle Gormogon, Dat Ho, Merry Christmas, Sleestak

Twelve More Days of Christmas — Newish Christmas Albums Worth Owning #12

The Gormogons Posted on December 24, 2011 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 6, 2014

Inspired by Dr. J’s 12 Days of Christmas Music, Confucius says: here’s twelve albums of Christmas music from the past dozen or so years that are worth your while (and money). Of course, this will only bring us to the … Continue reading →

Posted in Chris Isaak, Merry Christmas

Gormogon Advent Calendar – Day 24

The Gormogons Posted on December 24, 2011 by GorTApril 6, 2014

The final day of our calendar brings up the door to these charities: The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society (one of ‘Puter’s picks)The Christian Foundation for Children and Aging (GorT frequents this charity)The Holy Land Christian Ecumenical Foundation (also a pick … Continue reading →

Posted in 'Puter, Charity, Gormogonica, GorT, Merry Christmas

Puter’s Castle Christmas Tree

The Gormogons Posted on December 24, 2011 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

In a police lineup, it would not be hard to pick out ‘Puter’s Christmas Tree. Our little, lovable Luddite went with a Hello Kitty theme. Here you can see his tree, with Mrs. ‘Puter modeling the latest in Hello Kitty … Continue reading →

Posted in 'Puter, And yet she must scream, Castle Gormogon, Hello Kitty, Merry Christmas, Mrs. 'Puter

Christmas Is Coming

The Gormogons Posted on December 24, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Uncle Jay finds this gem. A Terry Gilliam salute to Christmas cards. Surprisingly fun for the whole family. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes … Continue reading →

Posted in Cartoons, Holidays, Merry Christmas

The Volgi’s Castle Christmas Tree

The Gormogons Posted on December 23, 2011 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Confucius, our Œcumenical Volgi (The Notorious ŒV) is kicking his Christmas tree old school style. He is sporting a traditional Cantonese money tree. This tree is typically brought out by single Chinese individuals for the Chinese Spring Festival. Red envelopes are … Continue reading →

Posted in Castle Gormogon, Merry Christmas, Volgi (pronounced Volgi)

Fast and Furiously Funny

The Gormogons Posted on December 23, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of … Continue reading →

Posted in Bullshit racism accusations, Eric Holder, Racism, Scandals

Twelve More Days of Christmas — Newish Christmas Albums Worth Owning #11

The Gormogons Posted on December 23, 2011 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 6, 2014

Inspired by Dr. J’s 12 Days of Christmas Music, Confucius says: here’s twelve albums of Christmas music from the past dozen or so years that are worth your while (and money). Of course, this will only bring us to the … Continue reading →

Posted in Merry Christmas

Gormogon Advent Calendar – Day 23

The Gormogons Posted on December 23, 2011 by GorTApril 6, 2014

Continuing our advent calendar charity doors, today’s door is to the following charities: The Military Order of the Purple Heart (one of the Czar’s picks)Paralyzed Veterans of America (favored by the Mandarin) For those who like contributing to other charities … Continue reading →

Posted in Charity, Gormogonica, Merry Christmas, The Czar of Muscovy, The Mandarin

Movie Magic

The Gormogons Posted on December 23, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Some things that Hollywood writers will never admit? First, corporate CEOs do not reside in castle-like offices at the top of skyscrapers, with wood trimmed walls, fireplaces, massive desks, and impossibly large windows. The Czar has been in many CEO … Continue reading →

Posted in Hollywood, Movies, This movie really sucks

The Emperor Has No Clothes: VDH style

The Gormogons Posted on December 22, 2011 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Victor David Hanson is one of Dr. J.’s favorite conservative columnists, primarily because of his ability present his arguments clearly, succinctly, but with a touch of verbal flair not seen in many columnists. He is like a conservative George Will … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized

Gormogon Advent Calendar – Day 22

The Gormogons Posted on December 22, 2011 by GorTApril 6, 2014

We’re in the final stretch of the advent season and it is a time to be generous.  Generous with your spirit, your hospitality and your charity.  So today’s advent door is a door into some of the charities that your … Continue reading →

Posted in Charity, Dr. J., Gormogonica, Merry Christmas, Volgi

The Truth Behind the Whole Payroll Tax Squabble

The Gormogons Posted on December 22, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Ah, the payroll tax cut debate. A lot of mud is slinging on both sides, so the Czar thought he would clear things up for you, dear readers, on what is really going on. Warning: sausage making is featured. Presently, … Continue reading →

Posted in Democrats, Politics, Republicans, Stupid Politicians, Tax Increase, Taxes

The Czar’s Castle Christmas Tree

The Gormogons Posted on December 22, 2011 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Now, the Czar has been our Minister of Substantive Posts™ of late, with ‘Puter hideously busy dealing with all things reality based, and GorT, Volgi, and Dr. J. being all Christmassy with our content, and Mandy, well, being Mandy. But … Continue reading →

Posted in 'Puter, Castle Gormogon, GorT, Merry Christmas, Shut Up Doc, The Czar of Muscovy, The Mandarin, Volgi (pronounced Volgi)

Twelve More Days of Christmas — Newish Christmas Albums Worth Owning #10

The Gormogons Posted on December 22, 2011 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 6, 2014

Inspired by Dr. J’s 12 Days of Christmas Music, Confucius says: here’s twelve albums of Christmas music from the past dozen or so years that are worth your while (and money). Of course, this will only bring us to the … Continue reading →

Posted in Merry Christmas

Gormogon Advent Calendar – Day 21

The Gormogons Posted on December 21, 2011 by GorTApril 6, 2014

Rounding out the third pass through the castle of the advent calendar is Dat Ho – who has been enjoying his mini-hibachi grill down in the basement.  He opened his door and unfolded a small shirt and held it up.  … Continue reading →

Posted in Dat Ho, Gormogonica, Merry Christmas

It’s going to be a long year…

The Gormogons Posted on December 21, 2011 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

The Hobbit: The Unexpected Journey, coming to theaters 12/14/12. You have a week to catch it before the end of the world. But, if you can’t wait that long. There will be Legos™ in the summer. Dr. J.

Continue reading →
Posted in Lego, Movies, Tolkien

Gort’s Castle Christmas Tree

The Gormogons Posted on December 21, 2011 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Pac Man turned 11111 (Eleventy-eleven) this year, and Gort chose to recognize his binary buddy with his Christmas Tree this year! For all of our global warming fanatic friends, be reassured that GorT is only using cold fusion to power … Continue reading →

Posted in Castle Gormogon, GorT, Merry Christmas, Pac Man

Twelve More Days of Christmas — Newish Christmas Albums Worth Owning #9

The Gormogons Posted on December 21, 2011 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 6, 2014

Inspired by Dr. J’s 12 Days of Christmas Music, Confucius says: here’s twelve albums of Christmas music from the past dozen or so years that are worth your while (and money). Of course, this will only bring us to the … Continue reading →

Posted in Dave’s True Story, Merry Christmas

Beyond the numbers…

The Gormogons Posted on December 20, 2011 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

In a CNN poll released today, 49% approve of the job President Obama is doing. This is a jump from 44% a month ago. Dr. J. from a poll methodology standpoint, the big red flag is that this looks at … Continue reading →

Posted in CNN, Lèse-Obamasté, Lies Damned Lies and Statistics, Shaved Ice

Gormogon Advent Calendar – Day 20

The Gormogons Posted on December 20, 2011 by GorTApril 6, 2014

Today was GorT’s turn to open a door on the advent calendar and while the treat was more along the lines of the traditional advent calendars, I still seem to feel like someone in the castle is snickering. GorTGorT is … Continue reading →

Posted in Gormogonica, GorT, Merry Christmas

Mandy’s Castle Christmas Tree

The Gormogons Posted on December 20, 2011 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

For a look at the Inscrutable Mandarin’s Christmas Tree, you have to go to the proving grounds behind the Castle proper. In true Mandarin fashion, Mandy wanted to kill two birds with one stone. His MO has always been to weaponize … Continue reading →

Posted in Castle Gormogon, Merry Christmas, The Mandarin

Twelve More Days of Christmas — Newish Christmas Albums Worth Owning #8

The Gormogons Posted on December 20, 2011 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 6, 2014

Inspired by Dr. J’s 12 Days of Christmas Music, Confucius says: here’s twelve albums of Christmas music from the past dozen or so years that are worth your while (and money). Of course, this will only bring us to the … Continue reading →

Posted in Merry Christmas

If Not Gingrich or Romney, Then Who?

The Gormogons Posted on December 20, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

JAB replies: Your Czarness, Thanks for showing restraint and not banning me from the Castle bar, at least not yet. Your post “The Enemy of the Good” provides excellent reasons for voting for anyone but Obama. However, you completely misjudge … Continue reading →

Posted in Barack Obama, Borepatch, Conservatism, Mailbag, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich

Unchanged Weather

The Gormogons Posted on December 20, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Well, we finally get to see what Kim Jong Ŭn (김정은) looks like. In more ways than one. This morning, some radio pundits were warning listeners that we have to wait and see what happens in North Korea; the order … Continue reading →

Posted in Kim Jong Il, Kim Jong Un, North Korea, What is to be done?

Gormogon Advent Calendar – Day 19

The Gormogons Posted on December 19, 2011 by GorTApril 6, 2014

The Gormogons love us some grilled meat.  A number of us like showing off our grill skills.  The Czar got really excited when he saw the day 19 gift.  He’s already fully assembled it and started making dinner for all … Continue reading →

Posted in Gormogonica, Merry Christmas, The Czar of Muscovy

Twelve More Days of Christmas — Newish Christmas Albums Worth Owning #7

The Gormogons Posted on December 19, 2011 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 6, 2014

Inspired by Dr. J’s 12 Days of Christmas Music, Confucius says: here’s twelve albums of Christmas music from the past dozen or so years that are worth your while (and money). Of course, this will only bring us to the … Continue reading →

Posted in Merry Christmas

Dr. J.’s Castle Christmas Tree

The Gormogons Posted on December 19, 2011 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Much like at the White House, we at the Castle have taken to decorating our own Christmas Trees. Dr. J. has decided to be so kind as to share a glimpse of the one adorning his corner of the Castle. … Continue reading →

Posted in Castle Gormogon, Dr. J., Merry Christmas

Kim Jong Il’s Cause of Death Revealed…

The Gormogons Posted on December 19, 2011 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

As you know, the late North Korean dictator was quite the gourmand. Indeed, he was able to detect a difference in the amount of sugar used in his sushi rice… Nevertheless, Emily Grace (@GreatGrace84), our resident (gluten free) baker and … Continue reading →

Posted in Cookies, Friend of Gormogons, Masonic Ninjas, Minions

Kim Jong Il Dead At Last…Meaning…What?

The Gormogons Posted on December 19, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

With the long-overdue death of Kim Jong Il, the future of North Korea has never been stranger. Generally, Nork watchers assume that Kim Jong Un will be the new leader of North Korea. Is this good news? Incredibly, it is … Continue reading →

Posted in Kim Jong Il, Kim Jong Un, North Korea

Gormogon Advent Calendar – Day 18

The Gormogons Posted on December 18, 2011 by GorTApril 6, 2014

The Gormogons aren’t into flashy jewelry.  However, when it’s a piece of functional jewelry, eyebrows get raised.  So the Mandarin had to immediately try on his new ring and give it a whirl.  I think Dat Ho will be ok, … Continue reading →

Posted in Gormogonica, Merry Christmas, The Mandarin

Twelve More Days of Christmas — Newish Christmas Albums Worth Owning #6

The Gormogons Posted on December 18, 2011 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 6, 2014

Inspired by Dr. J’s 12 Days of Christmas Music, Confucius says: here’s twelve albums of Christmas music from the past dozen or so years that are worth your while (and money). Of course, this will only bring us to the … Continue reading →

Posted in Happy Hanukkah, Merry Christmas

The Nerve!

The Gormogons Posted on December 18, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Guy lets his underage daughter start a blog and email account on Google. Under terms of the Children’s Online Privacy Protection Act, Google immediately whacked her blog and email account until further notice. Like, say, when she turns 13 and … Continue reading →

Posted in Boo fucking hoo, Google, Stupid People, Stupidity

Gormogon Advent Calendar – Day 17

The Gormogons Posted on December 17, 2011 by GorTApril 6, 2014

The Volgi is old….school.  Well, old too.  So, he was happy opening today’s door on the calendar and getting his gift: It is nostalgic for him while functional as it has a 3-CD loader.  He has already loaded up all … Continue reading →

Posted in Gormogonica, Merry Christmas, Volgi

The Enemy of the Good

The Gormogons Posted on December 17, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Dr. J reports that: Seven in 10 Americans say they can’t wait for the presidential campaign to be over, while a minority of 26% can’t wait for it to begin. At 75%, residents of key 2012 swing states are even … Continue reading →

Posted in 2012 Election, Barack Obama, Borepatch, Election, Mailbag, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich

May We Quote You?

The Gormogons Posted on December 17, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Credit where it is due: The View finally managed to put together their most coherent and substantive issue yet. Sigh. This show is still on the air, by the way. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ … Continue reading →

Posted in Television, This TV show really sucks, TV Blowhards

Twelve More Days of Christmas — Newish Christmas Albums Worth Owning #5

The Gormogons Posted on December 17, 2011 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 6, 2014

Inspired by Dr. J’s 12 Days of Christmas Music, Confucius says: here’s twelve albums of Christmas music from the past dozen or so years that are worth your while (and money). Of course, this will only bring us to the … Continue reading →

Posted in Merry Christmas

Mailbag – East Coast/West Coast, YO!

The Gormogons Posted on December 16, 2011 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

The first letter in today’s mailbag comes from Operative ME somewhere vaguely near the Four Corners: Dr. J.,  As someone who grew up in New Jersey before escaping to Arizona, I found your description of the cultural landscape of New … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized

Gormogon Advent Calendar – Day 16

The Gormogons Posted on December 16, 2011 by GorTApril 6, 2014

Sometimes the items behind the advent calendar doors are just random and defy explanation.  Maybe Dr. J will actually make use of his gift today: Then again, he’ll have to keep Mandy’s hands off them. GorTGorT is an eight-foot-tall robot … Continue reading →

Posted in Gormogonica, Merry Christmas

Twelve More Days of Christmas — Newish Christmas Albums Worth Owning #4

The Gormogons Posted on December 16, 2011 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 6, 2014

Inspired by Dr. J’s 12 Days of Christmas Music, Confucius says: here’s twelve albums of Christmas music from the past dozen or so years that are worth your while (and money). Of course, this will only bring us to the … Continue reading →

Posted in Merry Christmas

Iraq War: 2003 – 2011

The Gormogons Posted on December 16, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

The President, despite all analysis, has declared the Iraq War officially over. Congratulations, Mr. President. We believe you have earned this: The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born … Continue reading →

Posted in Barack Obama, Iraq, Irony, The Obama Amateur Hour, War in Iraq

The Last Debate of 2011

The Gormogons Posted on December 16, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Tonight’s was a most interesting debate, for many reasons. In short, nearly everybody did their best. Mitt Romney had some superb lines, Newt Gingrich gathered a lot of applause on some interesting topics, Michele Bachmann was on fire tonight with … Continue reading →

Posted in 2012 Election, Election, Ron Paul

Poŝtosako: Mizerikorda aŭ spionado?

The Gormogons Posted on December 15, 2011 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 6, 2014

Confucius was enjoying a breakfast of one of the thousand-year eggs he put aside on his fifteen-hundredth birthday when one of our Tcho-Tcho footmen truckled in and, properly averting his eyes, kowtowed and presented Confucius with this letter which had … Continue reading →

Posted in Esperanto, Mailbag, The Villain Zamenhof

Blessings and Curses

The Gormogons Posted on December 15, 2011 by 'PuterApril 6, 2014

‘Puter was thinking this morning, as he walked in the pre-dawn darkness, lukewarm rain pelting his rain jacket. ‘Puter realized that less than 100 years ago, he’d likely be dead or permanently disabled. You see, back injuries were, and still … Continue reading →

Posted in Liberals, Medicine, Socialized Medicine, Stupid People

Twelve More Days of Christmas — Newish Christmas Albums Worth Owning #3

The Gormogons Posted on December 15, 2011 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 6, 2014

Inspired by Dr. J’s 12 Days of Christmas Music, Confucius says: here’s twelve albums of Christmas music from the past dozen or so years that are worth your while (and money). Of course, this will only bring us to the … Continue reading →

Posted in Merry Christmas

Gormogon Advent Calendar – Day 15

The Gormogons Posted on December 15, 2011 by GorTApril 6, 2014

Traditionally, advent calendars are small and have tiny candies behind each door – usually chocolates.  ‘Puter might have been disappointed at first that these were not real but rather chocolate, he got over it quickly and actually found a way … Continue reading →

Posted in 'Puter, Gormogonica, Merry Christmas

And She’s A Papist

The Gormogons Posted on December 15, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Been a fair amount of Christmas music funking up the place lately. And about this time of year, you get to hear—if you’re lucky—Jackie Evancho’s “Silent Night” or her knock-your-socks-off “O Holy Night” version that oughta make Dr. J bawl. … Continue reading →

Posted in Liturgical music, Oh My Effing God, Real Talent

The vast right wing conspiracy…

The Gormogons Posted on December 14, 2011 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

The vast right wing conspiracy is a popular meme with the mainstream media. Amusingly, they portray ‘Establishment Republicans’ a cabal of puppetmasters, which is laughable because they can’t even untangle their own strings… Even Dr. Krauthammer chimed in humorously on … Continue reading →

Posted in Castle Gormogon, Conspiracy theories from Saturn, Simpsons, The ΚΚΓ Conspiracy

Mailbag – Cunning Linguist edition

The Gormogons Posted on December 14, 2011 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

The mailbag is gets pretty full this time of year. Part of leading a worldwide conspiracy is that operatives, minions, lackeys, cronies and flunkies send us Christmas Cards, tribute and coordinates for Mandy to target with various and sundry orbiting … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized

Leftist Tropes So Bad You Can Smell ‘Em From There

The Gormogons Posted on December 14, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Crank up the old Leftist media machines! The Los Angeles Times has a story that for all intents and purposes is a smear-piece on Christine O’Donnell’s endorsement of Mitt Romney. First sentence? “She’s not a witch.” Then why mention it? … Continue reading →

Posted in 2012 Election, Democrats, Election, Journalism, Main Stream Media, Media, Media Bias, Mitt Romney

Twelve More Days of Christmas — Newish Christmas Albums Worth Owning #2

The Gormogons Posted on December 14, 2011 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 6, 2014

Inspired by Dr. J’s 12 Days of Christmas Music, Confucius says: here’s twelve albums of Christmas music from the past dozen or so years that are worth your while (and money). Of course, this will only bring us to the … Continue reading →

Posted in Merry Christmas

Gormogon Advent Calendar – Day 14

The Gormogons Posted on December 14, 2011 by GorTApril 6, 2014

Dat Ho has been on his best behavior: cleaning up the carcasses on the shores of the moat after ‘Puter’s grenade fishing, helping the Mandy and Czar back to their respective rooms after late nights at the Leaping Peacock, dusting … Continue reading →

Posted in Dat Ho, Gormogonica, Merry Christmas

Maybe they should have voted for the yellow dog…

The Gormogons Posted on December 13, 2011 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

A ‘Yellow Dog’ Democrat is someone who will even vote for a yellow dog if they’re the Democratic nominee for an office. Dr. J. has an esteemed surgical colleague who has a bumper sticker on his 65′ Mustang (which he’s … Continue reading →

Posted in Democrats, One Term President, The Obama Amateur Hour

Progressives Screw The Poor. Again.

The Gormogons Posted on December 13, 2011 by 'PuterApril 6, 2014

Not content to damning generations of poor to endless poverty through America’s welfare programs, Progressives are now Hell-bent on freezing the poor out of their taxpayer subsidized hovels. Sure, this article is nominally about electricity rates skyrocketing, but read it … Continue reading →

Posted in Big Environment, Hippies…they say they want to save the world but all they do is smoke pot and smell bad, Poverty, Progressives, Stupid People

That about sums up New Jersey…

The Gormogons Posted on December 13, 2011 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

The Garden State is a rich and varied state made up of diverse cultures, kinda like Yugoslavia… Growing up in the Philadelphia area as a yout’ Dr. J. saw New Jersey as two states: North Jersey vs. South Jersey609 vs. … Continue reading →

Posted in Chris Christie, Dr. J., Humor, Linguistics, New Jersey

Canada Ditches Kyoto

The Gormogons Posted on December 13, 2011 by GorTApril 6, 2014

Canada will become the first country to officially withdraw from the Kyoto protocol.  Their Environment Minister, Peter Kent, announced the plans for the formal withdrawal on Monday: The Kyoto Protocol does not represent the path forward for Canada.  It’s now … Continue reading →

Posted in Canada, Climate Change, Kyoto Protocol

What Romney Can Do To Win Back Voters

The Gormogons Posted on December 13, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

The Czar can go off all the time on left-wing editorials because there is just so much there, there. But the Czar isn’t happy to see similar slanted crap in right-wing editorials. The Czar, for example, loves to read anything … Continue reading →

Posted in 2012 Election, Election, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich

Twelve More Days of Christmas — Newish Christmas Albums Worth Owning #1

The Gormogons Posted on December 13, 2011 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 6, 2014

Inspired by Dr. J’s 12 Days of Christmas Music, Confucius says: here’s twelve albums of Christmas music from the past dozen or so years that are worth your while (and money). Of course, this will only bring us to the … Continue reading →

Posted in Merry Christmas

Gormogon Advent Calendar – Day 13

The Gormogons Posted on December 13, 2011 by GorTApril 6, 2014

Lucky me! O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!  Day 13 is GorT’s second turn at opening an advent calendar door.  A number of the Gormogons are early birds (and we get plenty of worms), particularly GorT and ‘Puter whose body clocks … Continue reading →

Posted in Atari, Gormogonica, GorT, Merry Christmas

Gormogons Readers Are Kewl! Proven!

The Gormogons Posted on December 13, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

So how popular is this site? More importantly, how cool are you for reading it? The answer is very cool. In fact, take the day off, and never be afraid to tell someone off because you read this site, and … Continue reading →

Posted in Borepatch, Friend of Gormogons, Gormogonica, Gormogons, Jonah Goldberg, Jonathan Last

You Know You Do

The Gormogons Posted on December 13, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

It’s okay, you can admit it. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of … Continue reading →

Posted in Boot in the Gut, Iran, Mahmūd Ahmadî-Nezhâd, The Mandarin

Gormogon Advent Calendar – Day 12

The Gormogons Posted on December 12, 2011 by GorTApril 6, 2014

The Czar camped out all night watching the calendar just to make sure that a repeat of day 5 didn’t occur.  So, a ragged-looking, spear-carrying Czar slowly opened the door on day 12 of the advent calendar to reveal: He … Continue reading →

Posted in Gormogonica, Merry Christmas, Sleestak, The Czar of Muscovy

Dr. J’s 12 Days of Christmas Music – Day 12

The Gormogons Posted on December 12, 2011 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Thank you all for hanging in there during Dr. J.’s Christmas present to himself this season, an indulgent walk down memory lane where he could reflect on the glories of Christmases long long ago, to copy a phrase. So here … Continue reading →

Posted in 1980s, Dr. J., GorT, Merry Christmas, The Czar of Muscovy

Setting the Record Straight

The Gormogons Posted on December 12, 2011 by GorTApril 6, 2014

A couple news outlets are picking up on Obama’s interview with Kroft on 60 Minutes and, in particular, the comments from the President stating that he doesn’t believe he “overpromised” improvements to voters, nor did he “underestimate” the difficulty of … Continue reading →

Posted in Leadership, The Obama Amateur Hour

Putin’s Decision Time

The Gormogons Posted on December 12, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Dear News Media, you think to yourself, with all this talk about Michelle Obama breaking the jumping jacks record, and all this stuff about Tim Tebow, what the heck is going on in Russia? While the News Media blinks back … Continue reading →

Posted in Election Results, Putin that Chekist хуй, Russia

Gormogon Advent Calendar – Day 11

The Gormogons Posted on December 12, 2011 by GorTApril 6, 2014

Like many of you, the Gormogons get busy this time of year. Office parties, tree trimming, cookie exchanges (one of ‘Puter’s favorites)…etc. So it wasn’t until late tonight when all of us could watch Mandy pry open the doors for … Continue reading →

Posted in Gormogonica, Merry Christmas, Orbiting Mind Control Satellites, The Mandarin

Dr. J’s 12 Days of Christmas Music – Day 11

The Gormogons Posted on December 11, 2011 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

It’s a Christmas carol! It’s a love song! It’s whimsical! It’s New Wave! It can only be Christmas Wrapping by the Waitresses! Dr. J. loves loves loves this song! It is one of a few songs he taped off of … Continue reading →

Posted in Dr. J., Merry Christmas, Music

Reflectons on a Debate Unwatched

The Gormogons Posted on December 11, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Well, um, okay. The simple truth is that the Czar did not watch the GOP debate last night; he elected to watched the marginally censored (but still uncomfortably dialogued) National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation on the Family Channel. The kids know … Continue reading →

Posted in 2012 Election, Election, Republicans

Dr. J’s 12 Days of Christmas Music – Day 10

The Gormogons Posted on December 10, 2011 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

This might be the most requested item on Dr. J.’s 12 Days of Christmas Music. That would be Vince Guaraldi’s A Charlie Brown Christmas soundtrack. A Charlie Brown Christmas is Dr. J.’s favorite Christmas special of all time. It captures the … Continue reading →

Posted in Dr. J., Merry Christmas, Music

Gormogon Advent Calendar – Day 10

The Gormogons Posted on December 10, 2011 by GorTApril 6, 2014

Mandy finally got the Volgi to stop pushing those huge blocks about the castle.  Periodically, you’d hear: thuuuump.   Thuuump.   Thuuuump.  And you’d look out your door and the Volgi had lined up several blocks to spell some message in 2′ … Continue reading →

Posted in Gormogonica, Merry Christmas, Volgi, Yeti

Welcome to Leng, Suckas

The Gormogons Posted on December 10, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

As you know, the Castle welcomes hundreds of visitors a year. Many of them make it back home safely. Internet boulevardier Uncle Jay mentioned that his Golden Horde (well, we think he said “hordes”) was going to lay seige at … Continue reading →

Posted in Borepatch, Castle Gormogon, Gormogonica, Gormogons, Uncle Jay

NYC is an expensive place to live…

The Gormogons Posted on December 10, 2011 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Resident Ninjababe Emily Grace at Kick-Boxing Rhinos (@greatgrace84) sent Dr. J. the link to project.wnyc.org. This is a map of NYC showing the city with superimposed median household income. Dr. J. looked at a job in Manhattan a few years … Continue reading →

Posted in New York, Real Estate

Weighed and Counted

The Gormogons Posted on December 10, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Poll numbers are always interesting. No, wait—most polls are totally uninteresting. Let us rephrase that: polls that agree with our point of view are always interesting. CBS News, which seems to have noticed the bloom is off the rose faster … Continue reading →

Posted in CBS News, Congress, One Term President, Polls, President

Shakedown…

The Gormogons Posted on December 9, 2011 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Today the National Labor Relations Board dismissed its case against Boeing. Now this was a long time coming, as the case against Boeing, as Boeing, by wanting to open a plant in the right-to-work (and red) state of South Carolina … Continue reading →

Posted in NLRB, Obama Administration, One Term President, Unions

XKCD.com’s Christmas Cheer…

The Gormogons Posted on December 9, 2011 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

GorT is fond of talking about generational politics, as was introduced to him by GorT 0.6b. (aka GorT, Sr.). The rest of your Gormogons (Gen X’ers all) have bitched about cleaning up the mess that is the Baby Boomer Generation. … Continue reading →

Posted in Baby Boomer, Generations, Merry Christmas, Music

Dr. J’s 12 Days of Christmas Music – Day 9

The Gormogons Posted on December 9, 2011 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Day 9 brings us our only ‘novelty song’ of the countdown. For this spot, Dr. J. has chosen The Chipmunk Song (Christmas Don’t Be Late), by none other than David Seville and the Chipmunks (aka Ross Bagadasarian). Given the title, … Continue reading →

Posted in Chipmunks, Dr. J., Merry Christmas, Shut Up Doc

Troxler’s Fading

The Gormogons Posted on December 9, 2011 by GorTApril 6, 2014

GorT, Sr. passed on a note pointing out a visual effect that is amazing to witness first-hand and scary when you apply it to real-world situations.  The effect is termed “Troxler’s fading” after Ignaz Paul Vital Troxler who discovered it … Continue reading →

Posted in Driving, Science

Holder: The Jig Is Up

The Gormogons Posted on December 9, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Michael A. Walsh, of the New York Post sums up perfectly what the Czar has been thinking: what if everything US AG Eric Holder testified over the last couple days was true. If so, here is your attorney general: he … Continue reading →

Posted in Eric Holder, Firearms, Gun control, Guns, Second Amendment, Stupid Politicians

Gormogon Advent Calendar – Day 9

The Gormogons Posted on December 9, 2011 by GorTApril 6, 2014

Our resident doctor had to get up early for rounds today, so when we made it to the common room, he left a kind note saying that he’s very excited to try out his new gift today as he started … Continue reading →

Posted in Dr. J., Gormogonica, Merry Christmas

Mailbag – Do you know what I know…

The Gormogons Posted on December 8, 2011 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

There is just a ton of mail that comes in at Christmas Time. While many of it is checks for our Feed the TchoTcho Fund™, some of it is fan mail for your Gormogons, including for yours truly. Our first … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized

Dr. J’s 12 Days of Christmas Music – Day 8

The Gormogons Posted on December 8, 2011 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

As we continue the downhill slide to the ultimate in musical Christmas cheer, Dr. J. rings in day number eight with O Holy Night. O Holy Night is the Double Black Diamond slope of Christmas songs. If there were a … Continue reading →

Posted in 'Puter, Celine Dion, Dr. J., Liturgical music, Merry Christmas

Gormogon Advent Calendar – Day 8

The Gormogons Posted on December 8, 2011 by GorTApril 6, 2014

So it’s back to the top of the rotation and ‘Puter is all a twitter (seriously, go follow us on twitter…he is all a-twitter) with opening the next door.  He was a little disappointed that the door was substantially smaller … Continue reading →

Posted in 'Puter, Gormogonica, Hippies…they say they want to save the world but all they do is smoke pot and smell bad, Merry Christmas

Mamas, Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Lawyers

The Gormogons Posted on December 8, 2011 by 'PuterApril 6, 2014

As ‘Puter may have mentioned once or twice before, he’s an attorney working in house at a boutique financial company. Some have referred to ‘Puter’s company’s niche as a vulture fund, but that’s for another day. More to the point … Continue reading →

Posted in 'Puter, Gormogonica, Lawyers

Newtmail

The Gormogons Posted on December 8, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Despite the media’s stunned disbelief, Americans continue to be interested in conservative politics in increasing numbers. Almost like peer pressure is proving less effective. Two missives reflect this. First is Operative TG, who heads up our Counter-Insurgency Force, and who … Continue reading →

Posted in Dogs Are Better Than Cats, Gnip Gnop, Mailbag, Newt Gingrich

Obama and the Liberals’ Lack of Understanding

The Gormogons Posted on December 8, 2011 by GorTApril 6, 2014

Surely you’ve heard the latest ridiculous commentary on the free market system from President Obama in which he aligns himself with the slackers and ne’er do wells in the Occupy Whatever movement.  He claims he believes in the free market … Continue reading →

Posted in Free Market Economy, Sports, The Obama Amateur Hour

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A secret society dedicated to the restoration of the Kingdom of Poland-Lithuania, the imprisonment of Esperanto speakers, and furthering the eschatological doctrine of the Return from Occultation of the Thirteenth Imam, Val Kilmer. Seriously, what happened to that guy? He was awesome in Tombstone. ایمام سیزدهم

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