Or so it may look. But is it really a deeper plan?

Look, kids, we’re a global, epoch-spanning conspiracy with designs on all humanity. But the internet? Eh. It serves our purposes, but we’re not all that fired up about it. Except ’Puter. He’s heard about all the pornography that’s available, but because he—true to his name—is running a Commodore Pet at the moment, all he gets is ASCII porn off BBSes at 300 baud.

Confucius* says: I digress.

Reader DF writes in, with due fear and trembling:

So I’m of course now following the Gormos on Twitter, but they don’t pony up with the reciprocal follow? What gives? Do I need to submit some sort of Hello Kitty documentation or something? Don’t you want to know what I’m up to? Or can the Mandarin already see from the castle anyway?

See, here’s the thing, we’re kinda busy with the world-domination and all, so we don’t have time to keep up with this internet etiquette. Jesus, we haven’t even taught Ghettoputer to shut the bathroom door. Apologies to all our followers expecting a “reciprocal follow.” If you would care for one, just drop us a note at any of the address to the left, except Ghettoputer. He’s busy trying to figure out if those parentheses are a breast or a submarine.

In answer to the rest of DF’s questions.

What gives?

—Not sure, but the Czar takes. Don’t leave your change on the hall table is what we always say.

Do I need to submit some sort of Hello Kitty documentation or something?

—It couldn’t hurt.

Don’t you want to know what I’m up to?

—Oh, we know. And you might want to have that mole in your left armpit looked at.

Or can the Mandarin already see from the castle anyway?

—We can’t comment on that due to some on-going litigation.

Thanks, DF. Consider yourself publicly followed by us, now.

* For those who came in late: Go read an earlier article. I don’t have a macro for this. You’re going to give me carpal tunnel syndrome.

Confucius, Œc. Vol.

Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu.