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Hey, I’m back, what did I miss?

The Gormogons Posted on August 5, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 5, 2009

Your Volgi has returned from a distant land without decent internet service. Not that anyone missed him. I have no idea what the Czar was talking about here. Aren’t all corn-dogs fried? Besides, I have it on good authority that … Continue reading →

Posted in Bill Clinton, Brawny, Deep Frying, Gormogonica, The Amish Stallion, Wisconsin

Healthcare, Simply

The Gormogons Posted on August 5, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyAugust 5, 2009

Exactly what’s wrong with ObamaCare, and how to fix the current healthcare situation…in only fifteen paragraphs. Politicians, if you aren’t going to read the bill, at least read this. The Czar agrees with this across the board. The Czar of … Continue reading →

Posted in Government Run Healthcare, Health care, ObamaCare, Socialized Medicine

Now witness the power of your fully armed and operational Gormogons!

The Gormogons Posted on August 5, 2009 by GorTAugust 5, 2009

We have successfully infiltrated mainstream media outlets such as CNN as evidenced here (note that the final push was the post here – please note the title, our mind controlling satellites are really working well) and the Washington Post as … Continue reading →

Posted in Gormogons, Orbiting Mind Control Satellites, Star Wars

Re: We Have Ways

The Gormogons Posted on August 4, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyAugust 4, 2009

Hey Mandarin. The exact text instructs us to send them anything that sounds fishy about the healthcare reform proposals. Send them the full text of the bill and say “Here; start with this.” The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, … Continue reading →

Posted in Health care, Socialized Medicine

We Have Ways……

The Gormogons Posted on August 4, 2009 by The MandarinAugust 4, 2009

It seems just like yesterday that the liberals were all up in arms regarding the Patriot Act and how it would turn this country into a fascist state where neighbor would be spying on neighbor. Now we get a report … Continue reading →

Posted in Big Government, Domestic Spying, Government Control, Government Secrets, Health care, Socialized Medicine, Spying

Gormogon In Disguise?

The Gormogons Posted on August 4, 2009 by 'PuterAugust 4, 2009

As a reader gently reminded ‘Puter recently, Richard Cohen is, to put it politely, a horse’s patoot. And ‘Puter agrees as a general rule. However, ‘Puter would like to call the reader’s attention to Mr. Cohen’s column today in the … Continue reading →

Posted in Richard Cohen, Washington Post - WaPo

Media Whores

The Gormogons Posted on August 4, 2009 by 'PuterAugust 4, 2009

Actually, the post title is insulting to whores. In a nifty bit of advance spinning on behalf of the Obama Administration, CNN today opines in the guise of a news item that even if President Obama has to raise taxes, … Continue reading →

Posted in CNN, Media Bias

The Bigger Picture

The Gormogons Posted on August 4, 2009 by GorTAugust 4, 2009

Sometimes I read an article or editorial and I almost find myself saying out loud, “see, this guy gets it, why can’t the rest of them?” Bret Stephens has a great opinion piece in today’s WSJ about Global Warming and … Continue reading →

Posted in Big Environment, China, Global Warming, India

빌그린톤팔티팔티!

The Gormogons Posted on August 4, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyAugust 4, 2009

All right! POTUS42 (that’d be Bill “Bill” Clinton) is on his way to North Korea to straighten $#!+ out over there. You read that right: our former president is going over to PyôngYang (come for the 정과, stay for the … Continue reading →

Posted in Bill Clinton, North Korea

Ozzie, Ozzie, Ozzie!

The Gormogons Posted on August 4, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyAugust 4, 2009

Good on ’em. Many readers may not know this, but Australia is a very good friend of the United States. While many countries claim this, the Australians have quietly demonstrated it for quite a while now. Now comes word that … Continue reading →

Posted in al-Qâ’ida, Australia, Global War on Terror, Islamic Terror, Terrorism, The Obama Amateur Hour

Lessons From History: Farewell to a Good Teacher

The Gormogons Posted on August 3, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyAugust 3, 2009

Two technically unrelated news stories caught the Czar’s eye today. First, we must mention that the people of Iran continue to speak. As a brutal, dictatorial regime swears in its so-called “president” after a sham election, the people of Iran … Continue reading →

Posted in Corazon Aquino, Iran, Requiescat in pace, The Philippines

The Gormogons Posted on August 3, 2009 by GorTAugust 3, 2009

In a new series here at the Gormogons (albeit one we’ve addressed before), we will point out where the current administration’s spin doctors are out and about back pedaling correcting clarifying administration official’s statements. I’m sure VP Biden will be … Continue reading →

Posted in The Obama Amateur Hour

Re: A Harmless Question

The Gormogons Posted on August 3, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyAugust 3, 2009

‘Puter asks why, when the US manufacturing industry is effectively the same size as the health care industry, would the public accept government control of the latter, but almost certainly not the former? Rather, why does the goverment think it … Continue reading →

Posted in Government Run Healthcare, Health care, ObamaCare, Socialized Medicine

I Don’t Think This Passes the Smell Check

The Gormogons Posted on August 3, 2009 by The MandarinAugust 3, 2009

I couldn’t make this up if I really tried. According to this article, bad breath or a disapproving wife is all it takes to derail your chances of gaining a spot in the Chinese space program. My wife doesn’t even … Continue reading →

Posted in Bad Breath, China, Space, Space Shuttle

Just A Harmless Question

The Gormogons Posted on August 3, 2009 by 'PuterAugust 3, 2009

In 2007, manufacturing of any sort accounted for about 19.5% of the United States’ GDP. Health care accounts for about 17% of the United States’ GDP. The two sectors are approximately the same size. Does anyone seriously think President Obama … Continue reading →

Posted in Government Run Healthcare, ObamaCare

‘Puter Family Travelogue

The Gormogons Posted on August 3, 2009 by 'PuterAugust 3, 2009

Or, “Why One Should Never Travel Without A Grocery Bag And Brawny Paper Towels.” ‘Puter’s family took the death march back from his undisclosed beach adjacent vacation spot to his palatial Upstate hovel last Saturday. Fun was had from the … Continue reading →

Posted in 'Puter, Vacations

Secretary Pantsuit, Where Are You?

The Gormogons Posted on August 3, 2009 by 'PuterAugust 3, 2009

In another display of fundamentalist Islam’s tolerance and rationality, Sudan’s “government” is going to whip journalist Ms. Ahmed al-Hussein 40 times. Ms. Ahmed al-Hussein’s crime? Violation of Article 152 of Sudanese law, which promises 40 lashes for anyone “who commits … Continue reading →

Posted in Islamism, Sharia

Read My Lips

The Gormogons Posted on August 3, 2009 by GorTAugust 3, 2009

Presidential candidates have historically been lambasted for breaking major campaign promises, even if nuances are present. President Obama, as part of his campaign platform ruled out raising taxes on “the middle class”. His definition was that no new taxes would … Continue reading →

Posted in Tax Increase, The Obama Amateur Hour, Timothy Geithner

The News Ain’t The Latest News

The Gormogons Posted on August 2, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyAugust 2, 2009

Jimmy Orr of the Christian Science Monitor finds the perfect analogy to describe John McCain’s reaction to how the media has been treating Sarah Palin: It’s just like the old Huey Lewis song from “Back to the Future” where the … Continue reading →

Posted in Christian Science Monitor, The ’80s, Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

Re: Unexplained Absences

The Gormogons Posted on August 2, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyAugust 2, 2009

That’s well and good for ‘Puter. GorT has been off time-cavorting again (last week he took the kids camping) and the Volgi is on the road as well, researching new dimensions, plotting the overthrow of certain Burmese-shaped governments, and buying … Continue reading →

Posted in Dog, Dogs Are Better Than Cats, Gormogonica, GorTechie's Time Travel Adventures, Oshkosh, Sally

Unexplained Absences

The Gormogons Posted on August 2, 2009 by 'PuterAugust 2, 2009

‘Puter is now back from vacation at an undisclosed beach location on the Mid-Atlantic coast. Perhaps he should have mentioned he was going on vacation to his fellow Gormogons. That is all. For now. 'PuterAlways right, unless he isn’t, the … Continue reading →

Posted in Unexplained Absences., Vacations

Who says this isn’t socialize healthcare?

The Gormogons Posted on August 1, 2009 by GorTAugust 1, 2009

I know that Rep. Conyers (D-MI) and others complain that they don’t have time to read the bills presented for a vote nor do they fully understand them before they do vote (which one might question then why are they … Continue reading →

Posted in Government Run Healthcare, ObamaCare, Socialized Medicine

Something Smells Fishy with CARS

The Gormogons Posted on July 31, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyJuly 31, 2009

On Tuesday, the Czar said that Cash for Clunkers would prove too successful, and prove to be a major screwing of the taxpayers. By now you have heard the program is out of money already. Keep in mind this was … Continue reading →

Posted in Auto Bailout, Cars, Government spending, Taxes

Beer Putz

The Gormogons Posted on July 31, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyJuly 31, 2009

The beer summit, admittedly, went a little different than the Czar originally suggested. Some thoughts. SGT Crowley said that the summit was “productive and the two men plan to meet again.” In fact, the Czar hears, the two really hit … Continue reading →

Posted in Barack Obama, Beer

Communists finally ousted in Moldova [Updated]

The Gormogons Posted on July 31, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.July 31, 2009

Felicitări! But, of course, were one an alarmist, one might think that, suitably twisted into an allegation of election fraud or the like, this otherwise happy result could serve as a pretext for a nasty, imperialist neighbor to come to … Continue reading →

Posted in Georgia (Sakartvelo), Moldova, Russia

World War Two…in high definition?!

The Gormogons Posted on July 31, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.July 31, 2009

Because it’s not awesome and terrible (in the original senses) already? Dear God, though, if you can watch this without getting chills up your spine, your affairs had better be in order, because, you know, you’re dead. Via Warming Glow. … Continue reading →

Posted in Adolph Hitler, Hiroshima and Nagasaki, This TV show really sucks, U.S. Army, U.S. Navy, World War II

Stupid-Looking Mirror II

The Gormogons Posted on July 30, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyJuly 30, 2009

Jonah Goldberg spotted a plea by Dan Rather for President Obama to repair and save the American media. Wow. Rather believes such a move is nothing short of saving American democracy! Quote: A truly free and independent press is the … Continue reading →

Posted in Media

Where was this when I was a kid

The Gormogons Posted on July 30, 2009 by GorTJuly 30, 2009

Well, I count myself fortunate enough to have been able to be exposed to a lot of chances to “tinker” and learn but this experience would have been right up my alley, I think, as a child. I did have … Continue reading →

Posted in Building Stuff, GorT

How to Do A Beer Summit Right

The Gormogons Posted on July 30, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyJuly 30, 2009

As you know, President Obama has invited Cambridge Police SGT James Crowley and Harvard loudmouth Henry Louis Gates, Jr., to the White House for a “beer summit,” although no one seems to know what the goal of this meeting is … Continue reading →

Posted in Barack Obama, Beer

Parwān: Coach Wants To See You; Bring Your Playbook

The Gormogons Posted on July 30, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyJuly 30, 2009

Wow. In addition to having a website, the Taliban now have a playbook, laying down rules for their military code of conduct. Curiously, it reads very much like an American guide to military operations in civilian populations: be polite, do … Continue reading →

Posted in Afghanistan, Pakistan, Taliban, Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

What Was Old is New Again

The Gormogons Posted on July 30, 2009 by The MandarinJuly 30, 2009

I thought that just 6-months ago we were told that there was no such thing as terrorism, just “man-made disasters.” I guess when you get to actually look behind the curtain, your perspective of the situation changes. This article outlines … Continue reading →

Posted in Global War on Terror, Homeland Haters, Islamic Terror, Terrorism

Prepare for Distant Tolerance

The Gormogons Posted on July 30, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyJuly 30, 2009

What a pickle POTUS Obama finds himself in. His popularity is dropping—not as fast as conservative bloggers and commentators would have you believe—but the downward trend is quite obvious. This problem happened to Bill Clinton, too, if you recall. Each … Continue reading →

Posted in Approval Ratings, Barack Obama, Politicians

You WILL favor Hope and Change

The Gormogons Posted on July 30, 2009 by GorTJuly 30, 2009

From the Washington Times today, the Associate Attorney General Thomas Perrelli (number 3 official in the DoJ) approved a decision to drop a civil compliant against three members of the New Black Panther Party that accused them of intimidating voters … Continue reading →

Posted in Hope and Change, Politicized Justice

Kim Jong Illing?

The Gormogons Posted on July 30, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyJuly 30, 2009

FoxNews reports that recent photos of Kim Jong Il indicate he may not be as sick as reported. The Czar asked his okhrana to get more info. Evidently, the North Korean newswire (it is a literal wire) released this photograph, … Continue reading →

Posted in Kim Jong Il

Reuben Johnson on the Myths of the F-22

The Gormogons Posted on July 30, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.July 30, 2009

Check it out. Myth No. 1–Voting down funding for the Raptor was a blow against the “evil, military-industrial complex.” Myth No. 2–The F-22 is a hugely expensive aircraft because defense contractors purposely are trying to gouge the taxpayer by making … Continue reading →

Posted in Defense spending, F-22

There Is No Science, Inc.

The Gormogons Posted on July 30, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyJuly 30, 2009

Yeah, so the Volgi sends the Czar a link to a New York Times blog post by Nicholas Wade; within Mr. Wade repeats a comment by a psychologist who claims that scientists are humans, and therefore are subject to GroupThink; … Continue reading →

Posted in And yet she must scream, Big Environment, Carbon Credits, Global Warming, Phoney Science, Science

Dr. D: Right to health care?

The Gormogons Posted on July 29, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.July 29, 2009

If there is a right to health care, someone has the duty to provide it. Inevitably, that “someone” is the government. Concrete benefits in pursuance of abstract rights, however, can be provided by the government only by constant coercion.…When the … Continue reading →

Posted in Anthony Daniels is Theodore Dalrymple, Socialized Medicine

Defense jobs? We don’t like your kind.

The Gormogons Posted on July 29, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.July 29, 2009

Biz Mike-G stays on fire, ripping the Administration’s animus against the military. Instead, the Obama administration is slashing defense spending and cutting programs that employ tens of thousands of highly-skilled (and often union) workers. The administration drew a line in … Continue reading →

Posted in Defense spending, Pork filled Stimulus Bill, The Obama Amateur Hour, “Friends We Haven’t Met”

Back In the “Olden Days”

The Gormogons Posted on July 29, 2009 by GorTJuly 29, 2009

We were doing some cleaning and organizing around the house this past weekend and one of my kids helped me move a stack of record albums off a shelf. We got into a discussion about vinyl records and how, in … Continue reading →

Posted in Music, Nostalgia

Dinner at the White House

The Gormogons Posted on July 29, 2009 by The MandarinJuly 29, 2009

Here is a cautionary tale about letting government slowly take more and more of what you have worked hard to attain. Enjoy! The MandarinThe Mandarin, whose real name is 吏恆, joined the order in 1309, and introduced the Gormogons into … Continue reading →

Posted in Barack Obama, Social Justice, Socialism

Lunacy, Etymologically

The Gormogons Posted on July 29, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyJuly 29, 2009

Just remember that FoxNews is always your voice of doom. As you may have heard, something pretty big slammed into Jupiter last week. We don’t know what it was, because it hit on the far side. And nobody likes the … Continue reading →

Posted in Astronomy, Moon

Chinese Imperialism Update: One from Column A, one from Column B

The Gormogons Posted on July 29, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.July 29, 2009

Our friends the Chinese have finally figured out a way to deal with the ethnic tensions between Han (Chinese) and Uyghur (Turkic) which caused riots in Ürümchi earlier in the month: demolish more of the old city of Kashgar (pictured) … Continue reading →

Posted in Andrew McCarthy, China, Self-Determination for Tibet Turkestan and Inner Mongolia, Uyghurs

Obama vs. National Defense, con’t.

The Gormogons Posted on July 29, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.July 29, 2009

Mike Goldfarb: This is the same Barack Obama who asked the entire federal government to come up with $100 million in savings over the next year and couldn’t deliver on deadline. Yet the military, actively engaged in two hot wars … Continue reading →

Posted in Barack Obama, Defense spending

And They’re Already in Pill Form!

The Gormogons Posted on July 28, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyJuly 28, 2009

News that the blue dye in M&Ms might assist with treating spinal injuries. The story is written thus: injecting the blue dye into mice with spinal injuries seems to restore spinal functionals; further, the only side effect is that the … Continue reading →

Posted in Media, Science

Did I Mention You Don’t Qualify?

The Gormogons Posted on July 28, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyJuly 28, 2009

The ill-advised “Cash for Clunkers” is already turning out to be a typical Obama-administration deal. If you remember this, starting July 24, you can take your old POS lime green Fiero into a dealership and get an additional $4,500 back … Continue reading →

Posted in Auto Bailout, Barack Obama, Bush Test, Lime Green Fiero

Hillary’s message to Iran and vice-versa

The Gormogons Posted on July 28, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.July 28, 2009

“What we want to do is to send a message to whoever is making these decisions, that if you’re pursuing nuclear weapons for the purpose of intimidating, of projecting your power, we’re not going to let that happen,” Clinton said. … Continue reading →

Posted in Hillary Clinton, Iran

Amir Taheri: Velâyet-e fâqih is discredited.

The Gormogons Posted on July 28, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.July 28, 2009

No one knows how the current Iranian insurrection, triggered by last month’s disputed presidential election, will end. However, one thing is already clear: The doctrine of walayat faqih (“government of the theologian”), the cornerstone of the Khomeinist system, is dead. … Continue reading →

Posted in Iran, Velâyet-e Fâqih

Big news from Iraq?

The Gormogons Posted on July 28, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.July 28, 2009

Maliki Shi’ites and Anbar Sunnis working on a coalition? That’d be a big step towards stabilizing the republic. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153

Continue reading →
Posted in Democracy, Iraq

Administration had it in for the F-22

The Gormogons Posted on July 28, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.July 28, 2009

So says the Washington Post (via John Noonan, whose comments are worth reading). Hmm. Where did you read that before? We’re not a globe- and history-spanning secret society that’s able to convince people we’re a joke with a dorky blog … Continue reading →

Posted in Defense spending, F-22, Obama Administration, The Obama Amateur Hour

Two-Thousandth Post!

The Gormogons Posted on July 28, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.July 28, 2009

MM Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153

Continue reading →
Posted in Gormogonica

Iowahawk: Profiling and Harvard

The Gormogons Posted on July 28, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.July 28, 2009

Cambridge Police Profiling Still A Grim Reality for Harvard Faculty A—holes Guest Opinionby Professor John Evans Evans-JohnHarvard School of Harvard Faculty A—holes StudiesHarvard University When I first learned of the arrest of my colleague Professor Henry Louis “Skip” Gates after … Continue reading →

Posted in Bullshit racism accusations, Harvard, Humor, Iowahawk, Racism

I’ll Just Wait for the Books on Tape Edition…..

The Gormogons Posted on July 28, 2009 by The MandarinJuly 28, 2009

In what has to be one of the most asinine statements to come out of Congress in a long time, and by a long time I mean about 23 minutes ago, Congressman John Conyers (D-MI) comments on the futility of … Continue reading →

Posted in Anti-American, Book Burning, Congress, Socialized Medicine

Filipino government-sponsored squatters go insane on a Spratly island [UPDATED]

The Gormogons Posted on July 27, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.July 27, 2009

“When you first get there, you see this little island resort,” said the 30-year-old sergeant in the Philippine National Police. “Then after about five days, something snaps. You begin telling yourself, ‘I have to get out of here — now, … Continue reading →

Posted in Insanity, The Philippines, The Spratlys

We’re #1!

The Gormogons Posted on July 27, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.July 27, 2009

Erin go bragh! Here’s to the crime-ridden, illegitimacy-plagued, substance-abusing underclass of the nineteenth century! Gotta say I’m surprised at the Krauts. They’re ordinarily pretty low in crimes against property. From the Image Archive on the American Eugenics Movement. Via Boing … Continue reading →

Posted in Crime, Dirty Irish, Immigration

Chris Isaak: Gormogon?

The Gormogons Posted on July 27, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.July 27, 2009

Just to keep you all guessing… Q: Maybe you could draw on your student council experience to help sort out the enormous budget crisis in California. Any remedy for it?A: I don’t think we want a remedy for it. The … Continue reading →

Posted in Chris Isaak, Government spending

Good things cost more. Shocker.

The Gormogons Posted on July 27, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.July 27, 2009

Washington Post: A Case of Getting What You Pay ForWith Heart Attack Treatments, as Quality Rises, So Does Cost Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153

Continue reading →
Posted in Economics, Medicine

It’s rationing! Despite what Sen. Kohl says.

The Gormogons Posted on July 27, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.July 27, 2009

He proves he’s as successful at health-care analysis as getting his Bucks to NBA Championships. (That’s HK in the sky-blue blazer.) Fortunately, as you’ll see in the linked story, the Badger State has produced at least one politician who’s with … Continue reading →

Posted in Herb Kohl, Milwaukee Bucks, Paul Ryan, Socialized Medicine

Alex P. Keaton…

The Gormogons Posted on July 27, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.July 27, 2009

…was the Republican son of ex-hippie, earnest-liberal parents. But that’s only the kind of stuff that happens in sitcoms, not to Commie celebrity royalty. Or does it? Get your mind around… Arlo Guthrie, Republican. ’Puter, come for the shock value, … Continue reading →

Posted in Alex P. Keaton, Arlo Guthrie, Communists, Republicans, This TV show really sucks, Unions, Woody Guthrie

Access {Error}:Fatal_Init

The Gormogons Posted on July 26, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyJuly 26, 2009

Anyway, whatever that nonsense up there is, that’s what you get when you try to hack into GorT’s brain. Here’s how it went down. So the Czar is strolling through the basement of the Castle Gormogon (motto of our basement: … Continue reading →

Posted in And yet she must scream, Gormogonica, GorT, Hello Kitty, The Mandarin

Russian historiographical paranoia

The Gormogons Posted on July 26, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.July 26, 2009

“In August there will be such a yelling about the Molotov-Ribbentrop Pact, saying that that was the step that led to the Second World War, and that Germany and the Soviet Union were two equal, disgusting, totalitarian monsters.” And your … Continue reading →

Posted in Censorship, History, Russia, World War II

Sally

The Gormogons Posted on July 26, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyJuly 26, 2009

The Czar and family regret that we were unable to post today, as we were quite busy. We rescued a dog. Seen here, this is Sally. She is a shetland sheepdog, and she is about two years old. She is … Continue reading →

Posted in Dog, Dogs Are Better Than Cats, Sally, The Czar of Muscovy

Stai! Ciocan-timp!*

The Gormogons Posted on July 25, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.July 25, 2009

Um, guys, should we send flowers to Ghettoputer? Is this one of his aliases? * Pidgin Romanian for “Stop! Hammertime!” Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153

Continue reading →
Posted in How come everything today has involved things either coming in or going out of my ass?, Mr. Ouch, Romania

What Have you Been Reading?

The Gormogons Posted on July 25, 2009 by GorTJuly 25, 2009

As part of a retrospective look back on the past year, I took a quick glance at the top tags used in our posts (pictured – click for larger view). I clipped it tothe 14 as there was a natural … Continue reading →

Posted in Gormogonica

iNsecure iPhone?

The Gormogons Posted on July 25, 2009 by GorTJuly 25, 2009

Looks like the much touted 3G iPhone encryption isn’t “all that.” Wired magazine is carrying an article where the passcode and the backup encryption system can be bypassed in about two minutes. From there, the internal hard drive is fully … Continue reading →

Posted in iPhone, Security

Waxman Wanes

The Gormogons Posted on July 24, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyJuly 24, 2009

Imagine you have a bill on the floor that is growing unpopular with the American public, possibly faster than any other big spending bill in history. You find your bill is losing votes fast. Worse, it turns out that your … Continue reading →

Posted in Health care, Henry Waxman, Socialized Medicine

All Your Futures Is Belongs To Us

The Gormogons Posted on July 24, 2009 by 'PuterJuly 24, 2009

At last! Your Gormogons have made the long awaited breakthrough! We have created a clone army of Hello Kitty shock troops to expand the Gormogonical influence throughout the universe and, thanks to GorT, throughout time! Fear the Kitty. ** Photo … Continue reading →

Posted in Gormogonica, Hello Kitty, Star Wars

Best Impression Of An SNL Skit Character

The Gormogons Posted on July 24, 2009 by 'PuterJuly 24, 2009

Since we’re giving out awards here today, ‘Puter’d like to nominate the newly (in)famous Professor Henry Louis Gates for the Eddie Murphy “I’m Gumby, Dammit” Award. Upon reflection, ‘Puter thinks the following. (1) Rich Lowry and the Wall Street Journal … Continue reading →

Posted in Bullshit racism accusations, Classism, Racism

Year of the Gormogons

The Gormogons Posted on July 24, 2009 by GorTJuly 24, 2009

Welcome to the one year anniversary of the Gormogons. Was it really only a year ago that the brilliant and insightful posts from the characters you’ve learned (maybe painfully) to love started? As part of the one-year celebration, we’ve compiled … Continue reading →

Posted in Gormogonica, Gormogons

Meet the Gormogons!

The Gormogons Posted on July 24, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyJuly 24, 2009

Every ultra-secret society needs an easy-to-find website. And it is the one-year anniversary of this one! As a way of celebrating, here’s a simple user guide to most things Gormogon. Learn More About Us Although the Gormogons claim roughly five … Continue reading →

Posted in 'Puter, And yet she must scream, Gormogonica, Gormogons, GorT, Guns, Hello Kitty, The Czar of Muscovy, The Mandarin, Val Kilmer the Thirteenth Imam, Volgi, Volgi (pronounced Volgi)

In which GorT is not surprised

The Gormogons Posted on July 24, 2009 by GorTJuly 24, 2009

I am not shocked or surprised by the recent events surrounding the F-22 program and the subsequent news about the status of the F-35 program. I’ve written about the problems in federal contracting before, others have echoed the sentiments and … Continue reading →

Posted in Big Government, Government spending, Gubbamint

Farewell Gidget

The Gormogons Posted on July 24, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyJuly 24, 2009

The Czar has promised to be less obnoxious about celebrity obituaries going forward. This is a first attempt. Gidget, the 15-year-old star of Taco Bell commercials, has died. No, really, you insenstive asses. The poor thing died while playing with … Continue reading →

Posted in Canadian Actors, Gidget, Requiescat in pace

F-35 two years behind? And the Pentagon knows it?!

The Gormogons Posted on July 24, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.July 24, 2009

Mike Goldfarb is on fire these days. Your Volgi hasn’t even gotten to his reporting on Burma (tonight, maybe). But here he relates a hell of a scoop by Congressional Quarterly’s Josh Rogin: According to Rogin, “An internal Pentagon oversight … Continue reading →

Posted in Department of Defense, F-22, F-35

Racism Works Both Ways, Professor

The Gormogons Posted on July 23, 2009 by 'PuterJuly 23, 2009

By now you’ve heard about the little dustup this week involving Harvard professor Henry Louis Gates, Jr. and Cambridge Police Sergeant James Crowley. If not, a brief recap. Police were called to a report of two black men breaking in … Continue reading →

Posted in Bullshit racism accusations, Law Enforcement, Professors, Racism

So maybe this is what Vlad got from Barry O…

The Gormogons Posted on July 23, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.July 23, 2009

…in return for his grin-and-grip and missile deal (where we accepted reductions in missiles they were going to retire anyway as in their favor). Biden to Georgia: Lie back and think of England. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like … Continue reading →

Posted in Appearance of Weakness, Diplomacy, Foreign Policy, Georgia (Sakartvelo), Putin that Chekist хуй, Russia

The F-35 won’t do WHAT?!

The Gormogons Posted on July 23, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.July 23, 2009

Regardless of the vote in the Senate, “ The F-22 funding termination this week doesn’t change a thing [about the tactical advantages offered by the stealth fighter’s advanced systems] and I think history will bear out the F-22 advocates’ position … Continue reading →

Posted in Air defense, China, F-22, F-35, Russia, USAF

The Continued Infantilization of America’s “Adults”

The Gormogons Posted on July 23, 2009 by 'PuterJuly 23, 2009

The Fed has rolled out new regulations today to save consumers from evil, bad, naughty mortgages and home equity loans. Interestingly, the Hon. Richard Posner, Seventh Circuit Court of Appeals judge by day, U. Chicago law school lecturer by night, … Continue reading →

Posted in Housing Crisis, Regulations

Halloween at the Gormogon Castle

The Gormogons Posted on July 23, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyJuly 23, 2009

Not sure whether this is GorT or the Mandarin answering. -from Abstruse Goose The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and … Continue reading →

Posted in Gormogonica, Humor

Hillary: Let’s Just Ignore North Korea

The Gormogons Posted on July 23, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyJuly 23, 2009

Everything Hillary knows about North Korea, she learned from Chelsea (pictured, right). The Czar has made numerous accusations, as recently as yesterday, that Democratic foreign policy against tyrants and dictators consists of treating the evil ones as naughtly little children … Continue reading →

Posted in Fallacy of Foreign-Political Egocentrism, Foreign Policy, Hillary Clinton, North Korea, Nukes, The Obama Amateur Hour

I’m Bored, I’m Hungry…..

The Gormogons Posted on July 23, 2009 by The MandarinJuly 23, 2009

How many times have you heard a child, maybe even yours, claim that they were bored or hungry, and then when you offer to play a game with them, or make them a peanut butter & jelly sandwich they complain … Continue reading →

Posted in Big Government, Bored Children, Health care, Socialized Medicine

Hawaii ANG really wants some F-22s

The Gormogons Posted on July 23, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.July 23, 2009

From Aviation Week: Top military planners in the Pacific are well aware of the F-22’s less advertised capabilities as an airborne command and control node, an intelligence, surveillance and reconnaissance sensor package and an advanced electronic and information warfare weapon. … Continue reading →

Posted in F-22, F-35

Forward to the past!

The Gormogons Posted on July 23, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.July 23, 2009

Europe in the ’70s, here we come? Congressional leaders and President Obama are ignoring the perils of overspending to which European countries succumbed in the 1970s. The recent actions and proposals of President Obama and Congressional leaders violate both fiscal … Continue reading →

Posted in 1970s, Entitlements, Europe, Fiscal Crisis, Government spending, The Clash, This song really sucks

Rationing vs. the old

The Gormogons Posted on July 23, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.July 23, 2009

Betsy McCaughey in the WSJ: Since Medicare was established in 1965, access to care has enabled older Americans to avoid becoming disabled and to travel and live independently instead of languishing in nursing homes. But legislation now being rushed through … Continue reading →

Posted in Euthanasia, Socialized Medicine

Save the Planet, Save the Mouse

The Gormogons Posted on July 23, 2009 by The MandarinJuly 23, 2009

While your Mandarin and his son were watching a Phineas and Ferb marathon we were constantly being bombarded with commercials for Disney’s new environmental project called Friends for Change: Project Green. On the face of it, it is an effort … Continue reading →

Posted in Climate Change, Disney, Global Cooling, Global Warming

Be Seeing You

The Gormogons Posted on July 23, 2009 by GorTJune 5, 2020

Some might recognize the title of this post from a late 1960s British television show titled, “The Prisoner“. The short-lived (17-episode) series starred the late Patrick McGoohan as a spy tired of the “game” and trying to retire. He is … Continue reading →

Posted in Cable Networks, Television

Re: Thoughts on Thune: Extended Dance Version

The Gormogons Posted on July 22, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.July 22, 2009

Given the brutal beatdown inflicted upon your battered but unbowed Volgi by Ghettoputer and the Czar (file photo), the Œc. Vol. offers a brief rebuttal to the former’s post. I have no arguments with his second and fourth points. As … Continue reading →

Posted in Concealed-Carry Laws, Gormogon Infighting, Guns

Fast Food Kills!

The Gormogons Posted on July 22, 2009 by The MandarinJuly 22, 2009

Well the good news is that Soylent Green is not people, but your Big Mac may be. This brings all new meaning to the saying that if you saw what went into a hot dog, you would never eat one … Continue reading →

Posted in Fast Food, Hamburgers, McDonalds

“Speak Loudly and Carry a Small Stick”

The Gormogons Posted on July 22, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.July 22, 2009

Writes John Noonan at the Standard. Read his comments, then come back. Ok? So, Hillary says: Secretary of State Hillary Clinton warned Iran Wednesday that the United States would extend a “defense umbrella” over its allies in the Persian Gulf … Continue reading →

Posted in Defense spending, Diplomacy, Foreign Policy, Iran, The Obama Amateur Hour

Thoughts on Thune: Extended Dance Version

The Gormogons Posted on July 22, 2009 by 'PuterJuly 22, 2009

Your Volgi and ‘Puter disagree on the Thune Amendment. ‘Puter tends towards The Czar’s side of the argument. ‘Puter thinks: 1. States should be free to set their own requirements for concealed carry, including reviewing the qualification of each person … Continue reading →

Posted in Gormogon Infighting, Second Amendment

Craig Ferguson: Gormogon?

The Gormogons Posted on July 22, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.July 22, 2009

Call us, Craig. Not just for this, but for being the first talk-show host in a long time to interview actual writers on his show. And doing an actual talk show where you, you know, talk to people. Via Warming … Continue reading →

Posted in Advertising, Craig Ferguson, Humor, Stupid People, This TV show really sucks

Re: Thoughts on Thune

The Gormogons Posted on July 22, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.July 22, 2009

Far be it from me to correct the Czar and risk a trip to the Lubyanka, but the Thune Amendment (Text here. Search for SA 1618. Relevant law begins at 8(b)) did not create national concealed-carry (CCW) for permit holders. … Continue reading →

Posted in Concealed-Carry Laws, Gormogon Infighting, Guns, United States Senate

Thoughts on Thune

The Gormogons Posted on July 22, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyJuly 22, 2009

By now you have heard that the Thune provision—which would have allowed legitimate concealed-carriers to carry concealed firearms in all 50 states—was defeated. There were no surprises in who voted for or against the provision; ayes or noes were a … Continue reading →

Posted in Gun control, Gun Ownership, Guns

It Takes a New Age Dork Parent To Raise a Bratty Child

The Gormogons Posted on July 22, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyJuly 22, 2009

SoS Clinton is fuming mad! Those “friends we haven’t met yet,” Iran and North Korea, are going to be sorry if they continue on the road to nuclear weapons. Really sorry. Why, she’s so mad, she’s not even sure what … Continue reading →

Posted in Bratty Kids, Foreign Policy, Hillary Clinton, Iran, North Korea, Parents, “Friends We Haven’t Met”

In Which Mrs. ‘Puter Loses Her Mind

The Gormogons Posted on July 22, 2009 by 'PuterJuly 22, 2009

Behind the palatial ‘Puter manse, the ‘Puter family (mostly Mrs. ‘Puter) has a vegetable garden. Also behind the ‘Puter manse live an abundance of God’s lovely creatures. ‘Puter has seen deer, turkey, fox, squirrel (red and gray), chipmunks, groundhogs, coyote, … Continue reading →

Posted in 'Puter, Vegetables

Pensions and Taxpayers: Battle Betwixt the Generations

The Gormogons Posted on July 22, 2009 by 'PuterJuly 22, 2009

Here in beautiful Upstate New York, we have local school districts. And by local, I mean that there are 21 separate school districts in ‘Puter’s county alone. Each one of these school districts is funded primarily by property taxes and … Continue reading →

Posted in New York, OPs, Property Taxes, Teachers, Unions

Are the wheels coming off the bus?

The Gormogons Posted on July 22, 2009 by GorTJuly 22, 2009

Last night on my way home I heard a “top of the hour” news piece in which the station played a clip of Obama being interviewed where he made the statement that the deadline for passing Obamacare before the August … Continue reading →

Posted in Government Run Healthcare, ObamaCare, The Obama Amateur Hour

Re: Coup d’état! Coup d’état! Coup d’état!

The Gormogons Posted on July 22, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.July 22, 2009

Well, well, well. Looks like the New York Times is catching up with the Gormogons. And [the IRGC’s] aggressive drive to silence dissenting views has led many political analysts to describe the events surrounding the June 12 presidential election as … Continue reading →

Posted in Iran

RIP, F-22

The Gormogons Posted on July 22, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.July 22, 2009

Mike Goldfarb writes a great obituary. It’s not quite Marc Antony at Caesar’s funeral, but it’s worth your time, beginning: The final vote is 58 to 40. With that victory the Obama White House has eliminated the last major threat … Continue reading →

Posted in Defense spending, F-22, F-35, Stupidity, USAF

Burmo-Korean nuke coöperation

The Gormogons Posted on July 22, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.July 22, 2009

The Czar is right. The nuclear genie’s long out of the bottle and is far less fetching than Barbara Eden. The Czar politely mentions the past difficulties between Burma and the DPRK. If the Volgi’s memory serves, these include the … Continue reading →

Posted in Burma (not "Myanmar" dammit), China, Iran, North Korea, Outlaws Stick Together, Terrorism, Tyrants, “Friends We Haven’t Met”

Best Sotomayor Take Yet

The Gormogons Posted on July 21, 2009 by 'PuterJuly 21, 2009

From, of all people, Richard Cohen at the Washington Post. Read it, and have new admiration for Mr. Cohen, with whom ‘Puter frequently disagrees. Except on Israel. 'PuterAlways right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. X. Gormogons claims to … Continue reading →

Posted in Sonia Sotomayor, Washington Post - WaPo

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A secret society dedicated to the restoration of the Kingdom of Poland-Lithuania, the imprisonment of Esperanto speakers, and furthering the eschatological doctrine of the Return from Occultation of the Thirteenth Imam, Val Kilmer. Seriously, what happened to that guy? He was awesome in Tombstone. ایمام سیزدهم

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