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Kilimanjaro: Debunked!

The Gormogons Posted on November 2, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyNovember 2, 2009

Well, lookit that. 1. Congress is beginning to review the cap and trade legislation promoted earlier this year. 2. Critics are pretty well convinced the legislation would deeply hurt the US economy, and punish the consumer with higher taxes based … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized

What Do You Mean I Can’t Get My Money Back?

The Gormogons Posted on November 2, 2009 by The MandarinNovember 2, 2009

Well as if you couldn’t see this coming, the GAO announced today it is unlikely that taxpayers will fully recoup the $80 billion invested in GM and Chrysler. According to the report, for the government to recover our money, GM … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized

Making Sense of Upstate

The Gormogons Posted on November 2, 2009 by 'PuterNovember 2, 2009

Contrary to the fondest wishes of many liberal pundits, Doug Hoffman’s unforeseen success in New York’s 23rd congressional district is not a sign of an impending Republican party meltdown. It’s this simple. The Republican voters in New York did not … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized

Re: Europissoir

The Gormogons Posted on November 2, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.November 2, 2009

Dear Czar, The collapse of Blair’s support in the EU that you gleefully document has less to do with a diminishing of the Social Democrat/Christian Democrat welfare-state consensus, I suspect, and more to do with this allegation. If there’s anything … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized

Poverty as Dependence

The Gormogons Posted on November 2, 2009 by 'PuterNovember 2, 2009

‘Puter heard an interesting twist on poverty this weekend, one which he had not considered before. And it came from an unlikely, very liberal acquaintaince. Poverty, as ‘Puter always thought of it, is “the state of one who lacks a … Continue reading →

Posted in Government Run Healthcare, ObamaCare

The Czar Can Write Stuff Just Like AP Does!

The Gormogons Posted on November 2, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyNovember 2, 2009

President Obama celebrated the 45th consecutive end of the recession today in a White House celebration marked by libations and trays of imported cheeses. “This marks another great day for our country,” he said. “Although we inherited some problems, we … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized

Could Obama Be A One-Term President? Absolutely.

The Gormogons Posted on November 1, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyNovember 1, 2009

Fox News has a rather sensational story in which Rush Limbaugh lambasts President Obama. In the story, which reads more like an opinion piece in awkard third person (the Czar finds editorial use of the third person a poor writing … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized

Turn Back Your Clocks

The Gormogons Posted on November 1, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyNovember 1, 2009

Or we will be forced to send ‘Puter over to do it for you. And things will be broken. Including your will. Right Geep? The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized

Happy Halloween

The Gormogons Posted on November 1, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyNovember 1, 2009

Imagine walking up to a scary castle, inhabited by a nine-foot-tall robot from the future, who wants nothing more than to open your skull to install chunks of technology into your brain. And then, behind the robot, is a mad … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized

A Car That Reflects The Driver?

The Gormogons Posted on October 31, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyOctober 31, 2009

Nice job, marketing department, letting this guy speak: “Sports cars have to be red, but we wanted a new red. So we came up with shoujyouhi red, the traditional red color of a Japanese monkey’s ass.” —Tetsuya Tada, chief engineer … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized

Outstanding. Simply Outstanding.

The Gormogons Posted on October 30, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyOctober 30, 2009

If you love The Dark Knight movies, as the Mandarin does, you will love this video. Short, and eye-wateringly funny. If you are not as kind to them, as the Czar is not, the video sort of explains why. Dead-on … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor

Thank Goodness for the News

The Gormogons Posted on October 30, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyOctober 30, 2009

The Czar has been keeping an eye on things for a while. If he were an idiot, he might be inclined to think that:  —The stimulus package has saved 650 trillion jobs, simply because the White House says so.  —The … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized

Re: Liberal Bigotry

The Gormogons Posted on October 30, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyOctober 30, 2009

Item the First: The Czar notes the following text: “Homosexuality refers to relations between men or between women who experience an exclusive or predominant sexual attraction toward persons of the same sex.” Evidently, a threesome between ‘Puter and two women, … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized

Liberal Bigotry, WaPo style

The Gormogons Posted on October 30, 2009 by 'PuterOctober 30, 2009

In this editorial, the Washington Post’s editorial board tars Republican candidate for Virginia Attorney General Kenneth Cuccinelli as a bigot. The WaPo takes umbrage at Mr. Cuccinelli’s assertion that homosexual acts are “intrinsically wrong” and represent “behavior that is not … Continue reading →

Posted in Klansmen, Stupid People, Washington Post - WaPo

Traffic, Jobs and the Stimulus Conundrum

The Gormogons Posted on October 30, 2009 by GorTOctober 30, 2009

The White House and democrats are poised to start crowing about the success of the American Reinvestment and Recovery Act of 2009 with data showing 650,000 jobs “created or saved”.  This number represents about $150 billion of the $339 billion … Continue reading →

Posted in Big Government, Pork filled Stimulus Bill, Traffic

European In the Toilet

The Gormogons Posted on October 30, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyOctober 30, 2009

And just a few days ago the Czar was describing how wiggly ferret Tony Blair was most likely going to be named the President of Europe. And greasy flounder Gordon Brown completely endorsed Blair as the best possible candidate! Within … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized

Rimshot, Please

The Gormogons Posted on October 30, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyOctober 30, 2009

Two dozen House members are being investigated by the House Committee on Standards of Official Conduct. This is actually pretty normal: some will be proven guilty, some found innocent, and some guilty as all freaking hell. The details were written … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized

Newsweek Losing Readership? That’s So Whack!

The Gormogons Posted on October 29, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyOctober 29, 2009

Holly Bailey of Newsweek has just completed her seventh-grade Civics class, and is now experimenting with snark. Except the snark bites with his teeth, dear. We quote in full, because, well, this sucks as writing. And we had such hope … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized

Today is the Internet’s Birthday

The Gormogons Posted on October 29, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyOctober 29, 2009

Well happy freaking birthday Internet. Invented by a twenty-one-year-old Al Gore, the Internet turns 40 today. Of course, then, she was ARPANet, when the very first message was sent betwen UCLA to Stanford, in which it announced that Mars will … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized

Why Is There Even a Debate

The Gormogons Posted on October 28, 2009 by GorTOctober 28, 2009

The federal government is huge and inefficient so why would anyone believe that a government-run health care option would do better than private industry?  Maybe I’m jumping the gun with the first part of that statement, so let me give … Continue reading →

Posted in Big Government, Government Run Healthcare

Good Money After Bad

The Gormogons Posted on October 28, 2009 by 'PuterOctober 28, 2009

So rather than let GM crater in a richly deserved bankruptcy, the federal government (both Bush and Obama administrations) decided to bail out/buy out the Detroit automaker. Not content to bail out/buy out only one failed business model, the federal … Continue reading →

Posted in GM, Stupid People

Spies Like Us?

The Gormogons Posted on October 28, 2009 by 'PuterOctober 28, 2009

This summer, Iran detained three American hikers who allegedly strayed into Iran, accusing them of espionage. The hikers’ families just released a video they claim definitively shows the hikers could not have been spies. In the video shot a day … Continue reading →

Posted in Iran, Stupid People

Returning to the Right

The Gormogons Posted on October 27, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyOctober 27, 2009

A Gallup poll on liberal attitudes is a bit like polling 12-year-olds on whether they like cell phones. Therefore, the outcome of their most recent liberal attitudes poll comes as a welcome surprise: even Gallup concedes that liberalism has more … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized

Can I Get That Beer In A Sippy Cup?

The Gormogons Posted on October 27, 2009 by The MandarinOctober 27, 2009

Your Mandarin was perusing his November 2009 issue of the American Rifleman magazine this morning and came across this news brief: Back in 2005, after an article in the British Medical Journal called for a ban on pointed kitchen knives … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized

Scientology Smackdown

The Gormogons Posted on October 27, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyOctober 27, 2009

Europe really hates Scientology, which is something the Czar thinks Europeans are getting right. Scientology was allegedly founded by L. Ron Hubbard on a $5 bet concerning how gullible people are; the Paris criminal court decided what we already know: … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized

Dust Bowl, New York Style

The Gormogons Posted on October 27, 2009 by 'PuterOctober 27, 2009

It’s official. New York is the modern-day equivalent of 1930s Oklahoma, with its residents fleeing intolerable conditions for a better future in more hospitable climes. The crime of it all is that unlike Oklahoma in the 1930s, New York’s downfall … Continue reading →

Posted in New York, Stupid People, Stupid Politicians

Odd.

The Gormogons Posted on October 26, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyOctober 26, 2009

FBI: 50 Children Rescued From Prostitution in National Sting says Fox News headline. The Czar read it, but could find no mention of ACORN. Are they not sponsoring this behavior anymore? The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized

Union Pacific?

The Gormogons Posted on October 25, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyOctober 25, 2009

Both Australia and Japan have offered strong ideas on a reorganized international power bloc to shore up the aging ASEAN. The two ideas are not compatible, strictly speaking. Australia wants more US involvement, and Japan wants less. None of this … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized

Ban-Ki Mun: Get a Job, You Bum

The Gormogons Posted on October 25, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyOctober 25, 2009

Ban-Ki Mun writes an open letter to the American people in the New York Times saying that we can sign the Copenhagen bill that (a) President Obama has been stalling on and (b) puts the United Nations in charge of … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized

The Goose That Laid A Golden Turd

The Gormogons Posted on October 25, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyOctober 25, 2009

The Czar and the Mandarin were having dinner with the president of a union trade business this past week. He tolerates only union workers, a point which he is fond to make. Since he was buying dinner and large amounts … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized

Fan Mail: Beautiful, And Yet Very True

The Gormogons Posted on October 24, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyOctober 24, 2009

You guys set a pretty high standard—I’ve read a few blogs that don’t and they’re not worth the electrons they’re printed on. See ‘Puter? Quality pays off! The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized

You Are The System You Would Fight

The Gormogons Posted on October 24, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyOctober 24, 2009

The Wall Street Journal provides an amazing critique (and possible explanation) behind the Obama administration’s otherwise moonbat fixation with Fox News. The Czar agrees with this pretty much throughout, but feels there is not enough emphasis on the President’s dismissal … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized

Apple wants to Advertise: Allow or Deny?

The Gormogons Posted on October 23, 2009 by GorTOctober 23, 2009

Microsoft, rightly so, has been much maligned for it’s overly chatty “security” features in Vista where almost any action (in the default setting) prompts the user to allow or deny the action.  Yes, you gearheads, I know this is somewhat … Continue reading →

Posted in Apple

Leaping Peacock Jitney

The Gormogons Posted on October 23, 2009 by 'PuterOctober 23, 2009

If any reader is wondering how ‘Puter managed to haul his lazy rear end all the way to the Leaping Peacock (200 yards away from Castle Gormogon) in the first instance, look no further. Behold! ‘Puter’s sweet ride, borrowed from … Continue reading →

Posted in Gormogonica, Stupid People

50 Years of the Obama Presidency?

The Gormogons Posted on October 23, 2009 by The MandarinOctober 23, 2009

Imagine your Mandarin’s surprise when he read this headline – Barak Obama sees worst poll rating drop in 50 years – for this article from the Telegraph.co.uk online. I thought Obama had only been in office for less than year, … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized

Damned If You Do, Damned If You Don’t

The Gormogons Posted on October 22, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyOctober 22, 2009

Senator Harry Reid, we hardly knew ye. It has been made pretty clear that if Senator Harry Reid puts forth a public option in the health care bill, voters will throw him out of office. So in response, Senator Reid … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized

Castle Gormogon Schedule Change Alert

The Gormogons Posted on October 22, 2009 by 'PuterOctober 22, 2009

We need to clean out the dungeon, lay down some fresh straw and call the butcher shop. The Czar’s pet Oksana is coming home after her successful Central Asian tour. **’Puter meant to label the post “Stern Bears” but Volgi … Continue reading →

Posted in Bear Stearns, Stupid People

Raucus Bills

The Gormogons Posted on October 22, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyOctober 22, 2009

You know, the Czar is getting annoyed with allegations that puts up some pretty obscene bar tabs, and that he does some pretty serious damage each night because of it. On a hunch, the Czar decided to see whether he … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized

This MSNBC chick is smokin’ hot

The Gormogons Posted on October 22, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.October 22, 2009

But apparently dumber ’n a box o’ rocks. Watch Jesse’s face. Just awesome. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153

Continue reading →
Posted in Uncategorized

Movie Night At The Castle

The Gormogons Posted on October 21, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyOctober 21, 2009

The Czar is attempting to catch up on his movie watching. Well aware that folks no less than Jonah Goldberg have criticized certain films as strongly liberal, the Czar must concede he does not see it. Some of these films … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized

So two black guys and a lesbian go into a TV studio…

The Gormogons Posted on October 21, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.October 21, 2009

…and defend Rush Limbaugh The Age of Barack is bringing folks together…in some very surprising ways. Incidentally, for you kids who’ve grown up recently and have only heard the slur “house Negro,” just know that it’s a polite circumlocution for … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized

Rev. Al Sharpton, Hypocritical Assmonkey

The Gormogons Posted on October 21, 2009 by 'PuterOctober 21, 2009

Today we learn that Megan Williams, who claimed under oath that she was kidnapped, brutally raped and tortured, made the entire story up. The story then tiptoes around the fact that the woman may be recanting because she is mentally … Continue reading →

Posted in Stupid People, Stupid Politicians

You’ve met the Czar

The Gormogons Posted on October 21, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.October 21, 2009

Now meet his mother: Yes, that’s a Soviet uniform. You think your family has issues. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153

Continue reading →
Posted in Uncategorized

Shut up, hipsters.

The Gormogons Posted on October 21, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.October 21, 2009

Is just something I like to say. But this piece should give you some good ammo next time some boho bozo starts blathering on about sustainable urbanism, or whatever they’re calling it this week: In fact, lack of ethnic diversity … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized

Hey, We Needed The Dues

The Gormogons Posted on October 20, 2009 by The MandarinOctober 20, 2009

According to this article from AOL news, the number of married Catholic priests could grow sharply as a result of the Vatican’s decision to take in thousands of Anglicans and Episcopalians into the Catholic Church. I agree with the quote … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized

Ah crap.

The Gormogons Posted on October 20, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.October 20, 2009

Lookit. Click to embiggen. Via Big Government. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153

Continue reading →
Posted in Uncategorized

980-Pound Man Needs ‘Life-Saving’ Operation

The Gormogons Posted on October 20, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyOctober 20, 2009

Deemed too big to fail. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all … Continue reading →

Posted in Health care

Why They Hate Fox News

The Gormogons Posted on October 20, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyOctober 20, 2009

What do conservatives and liberals have in common? They both pretend to shun Fox News. The interesting thing is that both camps generally do it for the same reason. First, let us review. The Obama adminstration hates, hates, hates Fox … Continue reading →

Posted in Fox News, Main Stream Media

A Ten Foot Poll

The Gormogons Posted on October 20, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyOctober 20, 2009

The White House—that is, co-presidents Obama and Gibbs—are crowing that a Washington Post/ABC poll is proclaiming that 57% of Americans would consider a public healthcare option. To put it another way, which ABC would if Bush were President, “Nearly one … Continue reading →

Posted in ABC News, Barack Obama, Government Run Healthcare, Media Bias, Washington Post - WaPo

Welcome Back from the Desert

The Gormogons Posted on October 20, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyOctober 20, 2009

Well, as you can see, the Mandarin is back to work. And he had great news for the Czar: the, um, experiment is totally ready. Tests concluded that the Mandarin was able to land his product in the exact center … Continue reading →

Posted in The Mandarin

We Come From The Future To Help

The Gormogons Posted on October 19, 2009 by The MandarinOctober 19, 2009

Well at least Fox News hasn’t named GorT and your Mandarin outright in this story about the Large Hadron Collider. According to the news story, Danish physicist Dr. Holger Bech Nielsen and Japanese physicist Dr. Masao Ninomiya claim that “nature” … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized

Don’t Think ‘Puter Hasn’t Been Tempted

The Gormogons Posted on October 19, 2009 by 'PuterOctober 19, 2009

To do what this distraught father did. ‘Puter can’t recall precisely how many times he’s exclaimed “Jeebus, ‘Puter, Jr. Did you really need to supersize that bucket of the Colonel’s finest? ‘Puter’s gonna need an icebreaker to clear this log … Continue reading →

Posted in Stupid People, Toilet training

Because That Has Worked So Well…Where?

The Gormogons Posted on October 19, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyOctober 19, 2009

President Obama talks tough on Sudan! Either Sudan comes around to his way of thinking, or the President will use the international community to subject Sudan to talk and talk of further threats. That oughta do it. Because it completely … Continue reading →

Posted in Sudan

Yikes.

The Gormogons Posted on October 18, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.October 18, 2009

Click the “play” button. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153

Continue reading →
Posted in Unemployment

Where Have We Heard This Before?

The Gormogons Posted on October 17, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyOctober 17, 2009

Just imagine if the progressive whackjobs that ran Europe into the ground decided to get together, and form a Euro-supergroup, a rock band of megastars who would basically do it all over, but this time as one gasping grab at … Continue reading →

Posted in Czech Republic, England, Euro-Elitist Academics, Europe, Poland, Progressives

Spotlight On: Zimbabwe

The Gormogons Posted on October 17, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyOctober 17, 2009

One thing about reading the Big G as you do, is that you learn about all sorts of faraway places. Like National Geographic, but with less beautiful photography and even less whining. Today, for example, we cannot ignore what might … Continue reading →

Posted in Spotlight On..., Zimbabwe

Mandarin Test Subject 13E90.22

The Gormogons Posted on October 17, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.October 17, 2009

Keep watching the skies for Orbital Mind-Control Lasers. (Also, don’t do ether, kids.) Via FilmDrunk. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153

Continue reading →
Posted in Drugs, Drunks, Humor, I'm not as think as you drunk I am, Stupid People

The Falcon Has Landed

The Gormogons Posted on October 16, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyOctober 16, 2009

ABC News has decided two things about balloon-boy Falcon Heene (pronounced “heenie,” like the H1N1 virus is pronounced): 1. He is like Tom Sawyer, a truly colorful and splendid literary character full of charm and whimsy, if not in some … Continue reading →

Posted in ABC News, Bored Children

Some Folks Can’t Let Go of the 1920s

The Gormogons Posted on October 16, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyOctober 16, 2009

Here is a story not being covered here in the enlightened United States. A Louisiana justice of the peace has denied a mixed-race couple of marriage, saying that mixed race marriages are inherently bad for the children. JP Keith Bardwell … Continue reading →

Posted in New Orleans, Racism

Stuck on Stupid

The Gormogons Posted on October 16, 2009 by 'PuterOctober 16, 2009

In a textbook example of Solomon-like judicial reasoning, a New York Supreme Court (county level trial court) justice granted an injunction to petitioning nurses preventing enforcement of the state-mandated swine flu vaccinations for all health care workers. ‘Puter would like … Continue reading →

Posted in Health care, Phoney Science

Best Morning TV Moment This Year

The Gormogons Posted on October 16, 2009 by 'PuterOctober 16, 2009

Brian Kilmeade, a morning host on Fox & Friends, let loose with his best unintentional(?) slip-up to date. This morning, during a segment on removing pet stains from carpets, padding and subfloors, a goat, a sheep and a pig were … Continue reading →

Posted in Fox News

Punks Punking Punks

The Gormogons Posted on October 16, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyOctober 16, 2009

What a knee-slapping exercise in media gullability. Based on conversations the Czar had in the last 24 hours, as well as a timely email from Gormogons secret operative MC (“BTW, Putin couldn’t meet with Hillary because he and I have … Continue reading →

Posted in Math class is hard, Media

Running Scared

The Gormogons Posted on October 15, 2009 by GorTOctober 15, 2009

No, I’m not talking about the Billy Crystal / Gregory Hines movie from the 80s.  I’m describing what the current administration and congressional democrats are doing with the healthcare reform effort.  They are attempting to ramrod through the bill before … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized

Reality Calling For Mr. Gates

The Gormogons Posted on October 15, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyOctober 15, 2009

Bill Gates is irate that environmental restrictions are prohibiting starving communities in Africa to use the genetically modified foods that would actually help them grow food in their climates. Why, he cries, why? If there is anyone who stays inside … Continue reading →

Posted in Big Environment

On Limbaugh: Can The Pot Call the Kettle…um…

The Gormogons Posted on October 15, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyOctober 15, 2009

The Czar would stay out of the Rush Limbaugh story, thank you. The Czar cares little for Mr. Limbaugh’s style of broadcasting, but unlike every one of his critics, the Czar has actually heard Rush Limbaugh’s show in its entirety … Continue reading →

Posted in NFL, Racism

Obama Christmas Album, By K-Tel

The Gormogons Posted on October 15, 2009 by 'PuterOctober 15, 2009

Look, crazy Obama cultists. If you’re going to offend people by deifying President Obama, go big or go home. May ‘Puter recommend that school children in Chicago sing the third verse of O, Holy Night while kneeling before a likeness … Continue reading →

Posted in Barack Obama, Satire

Who Ya Gonna Believe?

The Gormogons Posted on October 15, 2009 by 'PuterOctober 15, 2009

Me or your lyin’ eyes? This is the position of Burlington Township (NJ) Superintendent of Schools Christopher Manno regarding the cult-like, glassy-eyed version of My Comrade Obama Will Let A Thousand Flowers Bloom, or whatever they’re calling that tuneless, hypnotic … Continue reading →

Posted in Education, Schools

Re: Mmmmm, Mmmmmmm

The Gormogons Posted on October 15, 2009 by GorTOctober 15, 2009

Mrs. GorT is familiar with the videotaping rights as she has done similar services (not of amateur presidential worship songs) for our kids’ school. When she started a number of years ago, she knew that parents had to sign waivers … Continue reading →

Posted in Barack Obama

Mmmmm, Mmmmmmm, Mmmmmm

The Gormogons Posted on October 14, 2009 by 'PuterOctober 14, 2009

‘Puter takes note of the Burlington (NJ) Township Board of Education Meeting tonight. You remember, the place where second-graders performed a creepy, Mao-like cult of personality song extolling our Forty-fourth President. One of the parents is seeking answers as to … Continue reading →

Posted in Barack Obama, Schools

Re: Li Bai

The Gormogons Posted on October 14, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyOctober 14, 2009

The Czar is delightfully familiar with the poems of Li Po, who may indeed be the Volgi’s brother given their ages. A small sampling of the great Li Po’s work: If the heavens were not in love with wine, There’d … Continue reading →

Posted in Poetry

Apropos of nothing

The Gormogons Posted on October 14, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.October 14, 2009

Царь наш, Confucius’s brother Li Bai (whom you met here) once commented that at least one volume of his autobiography would likely bear the title Alcohol Was Involved. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153

Continue reading →
Posted in Uncategorized

Making All News Make Sense

The Gormogons Posted on October 14, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyOctober 14, 2009

You have probably noticed your own lack of surprise, when reading a bizarrely tragic news story, at the words “alchohol was believed to be a factor.” A man burns his friends with a homemade firework, and so on…alchohol was believed … Continue reading →

Posted in Drunks, Media

The Mandarin Archives

The Gormogons Posted on October 13, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyOctober 13, 2009

The Mandarin is away on business, standing in the middle of a desert, covered in white dust, with a silver coat on and huge goggles, holding a clipboard while watching a large fiery red cloud mushroom upwards while muttering approvals … Continue reading →

Posted in The Mandarin, Unions

On the Baucus Mess

The Gormogons Posted on October 13, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyOctober 13, 2009

The Czar is most displeased with national referenda, as they waste time and bypass the needed representation republic structure a country of our size and shape needs. But he cannot help wondering if the national healthcare squabble (which the Democrats … Continue reading →

Posted in Government Run Healthcare

Lileks tweets:

The Gormogons Posted on October 13, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.October 13, 2009

“Prince can’t believe she’s going out with Lestat, either.” Lileks. Source (much bigger, better image). Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153

Continue reading →
Posted in Humor

Give Us A Break And Admit It Already

The Gormogons Posted on October 12, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyOctober 12, 2009

The insurance industry released a report that concluded that ObamaCare “reforms” (as presently planned) would skyrocket healthcare costs. The White House is foot-stamping mad about this. How could they say this? How could they scare Americans like this? Probably, um, … Continue reading →

Posted in Government Run Healthcare

Dr. Boli continues to flabbergastify, prestidigataterate, and hornswoggaggle.

The Gormogons Posted on October 12, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.October 12, 2009

More genius here. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153

Continue reading →
Posted in Humor

Takes All Kinds

The Gormogons Posted on October 11, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyOctober 11, 2009

You would think that a historian so well versed in President Wilson would run screaming for cover when thinking about President Obama. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was … Continue reading →

Posted in Barack Obama, Woodrow Wilson

St. Makua Kamiano, ora pro nobis

The Gormogons Posted on October 11, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.October 11, 2009

An amazing story. Everyone should read it and marvel what one man can do to improve the lives (and deaths) of thousands of people. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153

Continue reading →
Posted in Saints

Doomed, we are?

The Gormogons Posted on October 11, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.October 11, 2009

MS: Well, I think in naked political terms, I said this a few weeks ago, Hugh, that I think this, if you’re on the political left, this is the fastest way to a permanent left of center political culture. You … Continue reading →

Posted in Mark Steyn, Socialized Medicine

Defense gutted? Check. Appease Russia, che—wait a second!

The Gormogons Posted on October 11, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.October 11, 2009

John Noonan writes: The AFP is reporting that despite pulling the ground based mid-course interceptor from Europe, the Russians remain unhappy with Noble Laureate Obama’s missile defense plans. Ivan is, of course, playing the classic Russian game here — push … Continue reading →

Posted in Appearance of Weakness, Defense spending, F-22, Lasers, Missile defense, Putin that Chekist хуй, Russia, Supplication Slapped Down

Turkey and Armenia Step Out of 1915

The Gormogons Posted on October 10, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyOctober 10, 2009

Let us give kudos where it is due. In what may be the Obama administration’s first tangible win, Armenia and Turkey have normalized relations, which is incredible if you have ever spoken to Armenians about Turks. Secretary of State Hillary … Continue reading →

Posted in Armenia, Foreign Policy, Hillary Clinton, Spotlight On..., Turkey

It’s the Economy, Stupid.

The Gormogons Posted on October 10, 2009 by GorTOctober 10, 2009

Since the world is ending before the 2016 Olympics, everyone is in a big rush to avoid fossil fuel energy sources and working towards these “renewable” energy sources.  We’ve discussed this before – the real bottom line in energy production … Continue reading →

Posted in Nuclear power (more now please)

Facts and Figures v Feelings and Meaning

The Gormogons Posted on October 10, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyOctober 10, 2009

CNN reports that Americans are divided—probably another 80/20 tie, right Gort?—over whether President Obama has done enough to merit his Nobel Peace Prize. The CNN report reaffirms the Czar’s ongoing speculation that people fall into two camps: 1. People who … Continue reading →

Posted in Barack Obama, Nobel Prize Winner

More Nuclear Power!

The Gormogons Posted on October 10, 2009 by GorTOctober 10, 2009

GorT was pleased to see this news story from researchers at University of Missouri. The promise that this kind of technological research is impressive. I’m waiting for the fearmongering to begin. You know, the fear of planes crashing into flashlights … Continue reading →

Posted in Nuclear power (more now please)

Immediate Inaction

The Gormogons Posted on October 9, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyOctober 9, 2009

You are aware of crushing recent information confirming global climate change data are missing, extrapolated from a sample of one, and the result of a spreadsheet glitch. But the global change fantasists remain convinced that the earth is melting so … Continue reading →

Posted in Climate Change

Chubbs Peterson Lives!

The Gormogons Posted on October 9, 2009 by 'PuterOctober 9, 2009

Life imitates Happy Gilmore. Seriously, old dude, if an alligator wants your golf ball, let him have it. 'PuterAlways right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. X. Gormogons claims to be an in-law of the Volgi, although no one … Continue reading →

Posted in This movie really sucks

President Obama’s Peace Prize: First Take

The Gormogons Posted on October 9, 2009 by 'PuterOctober 9, 2009

‘Puter’s spent a little time this morning thinking about the Nobel Committee awarding President Obama the Peace Prize. The Committee’s stated rationale for bestowing the award on our President is to recognize his “extraordinary efforts to strengthen international diplomacy and … Continue reading →

Posted in Barack Obama, Nobel Prize Winner

Scary Thought For The Day

The Gormogons Posted on October 8, 2009 by 'PuterOctober 8, 2009

The Russians may be aiding Iran in designing nuclear warheads. If true, look for an all-out Middle East war coming soon to a location near you. 'PuterAlways right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. X. Gormogons claims to be … Continue reading →

Posted in Iran, Israel, Russia, War

Stupid Accounting Tricks, Health Care Style

The Gormogons Posted on October 8, 2009 by 'PuterOctober 8, 2009

‘Puter was lounging in the Castle Gormogon rumpus room the other night watching his assistant Sleestak beat Czar’s houseboy Dat Ho in a rousing game of Twister/Jenga that their lot is wont to play, when it occurred to ‘Puter that … Continue reading →

Posted in Government Run Healthcare, ObamaCare

Alienating A Core(pulent) Constituency

The Gormogons Posted on October 8, 2009 by 'PuterOctober 8, 2009

Governor Jon Corzine (D) of New Jersey is locked in a tight reelection campaign against Chris Christie (R). The campaign has been acrimonious, even by the Garbage State’s low standards. Plumbing new depths this week was Mr. Corzine, who aired … Continue reading →

Posted in Democrats, Election

The Spin Cycle

The Gormogons Posted on October 8, 2009 by GorTOctober 8, 2009

Have you heard about the recent Gallup poll that made a mistake?  Probably not.  I put little weight in these national polls especially when it’s a poll teamed up with some sort of media outlet (a newspaper, a television outlet, … Continue reading →

Posted in Government Run Healthcare, Number Fun

Mailbag: Consumer Protection Is A Nice Thing (UPDATED)

The Gormogons Posted on October 8, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyOctober 8, 2009

The Czar goes through his mail. The almighty Borepatch writes in to say: 😉 (Doesn’t this make you glad you don’t have comments?) Heck, BP, the Czar would welcome comments like that all day long. Trust all is well. Meanwhile, … Continue reading →

Posted in Consumer Rights, Mailbag, Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

Cruce de la Frontera es Ilegal

The Gormogons Posted on October 8, 2009 by The MandarinOctober 8, 2009

The Department of Homeland Insecurity has decided to strip Maricopa County Sherriff Joe Arpaio of his authority to arrest suspected illegal immigrants based solely on their immigration status. When a reporter asked Willie Sutton why he robbed banks he responded, … Continue reading →

Posted in Homeland Haters, Illegals

The Czar Admits It

The Gormogons Posted on October 7, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyOctober 7, 2009

He’s getting a little hooked on this song ever since he heard it on a trailer for Where the Wild Things Are. By the way, the song is not in the movie. It was used as trailer filler, and word … Continue reading →

Posted in This book really sucks, This movie really sucks, This song really sucks

Or So The Germans Would Have You Believe

The Gormogons Posted on October 6, 2009 by 'PuterOctober 6, 2009

Instapundit links to this bit of University of Tennessee news. UT claims to have developed the fourth supercomputer (and first academic supercomputer) to break the petascale barrier. ‘Puer doesn’t know from technology, but GorT and the Mandarin assure ‘Puter this … Continue reading →

Posted in Computers, Nukes, Technology

Liberals and Conservatives and Commentaries

The Gormogons Posted on October 6, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyOctober 6, 2009

Hang on, because the Czar is going to let both sides have it today. Do you like to comment on people’s blogs with your own opinions? You do? Well, at least you understand why we have that turned off here. … Continue reading →

Posted in Conservatism, Liberals, Teh Intarweb

Procrastinator-in-Chief

The Gormogons Posted on October 6, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyOctober 6, 2009

Apologizing for the Commander-in-Chief’s apparent lack of ability to command, the Washington Post wants you to know that Gen. Stanley McChrystal is not Douglas MacArthur—actually, he loves the fact that the President is taking his time with American lives. Acknowledging … Continue reading →

Posted in Afghanistan, The Obama Amateur Hour, War in Afghanistan

Send Forth The Jesters

The Gormogons Posted on October 6, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyOctober 6, 2009

The Czar, frankly, is getting a wee-bit tired of the MSM pointing out (gasp) that comedians are getting away with making fun of Obama. From Conan O’Brien’s spot-on send-up of Michelle Obama to SNL’s increasingly less-than-realistic Fred Armisen/Obama impression, suddenly … Continue reading →

Posted in Barack Obama, Media Bias

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About Us

A secret society dedicated to the restoration of the Kingdom of Poland-Lithuania, the imprisonment of Esperanto speakers, and furthering the eschatological doctrine of the Return from Occultation of the Thirteenth Imam, Val Kilmer. Seriously, what happened to that guy? He was awesome in Tombstone. ایمام سیزدهم

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To contact your hosts and pledge your undying obedience, e-mail dr.j, gort, puter, theczar, themandarin or thenotoriousoev followed by the at sign, gormogons, then a ., and finally, com.

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