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Monthly Archives: July 2008

Thrice-bad Mummy?

The Gormogons Posted on July 31, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.July 31, 2008

Ok, the Œcumenical Volgi is among the world’s biggest fans of the The Mummy, Stephen Sommers’ excellently pitched action-horror-comedy. It’s feather light, immensely likable, and perfect popcorn-wolfing fun. The Volgi liked The Mummy so much that he was in the … Continue reading →

Posted in Alexandra DuPont, Brendan Fraser, China, Movies, Stupid Mongorians, The Adorable Rachel Weisz, The Middle Kingdom, The Mummy, This movie really sucks, Yeti

Maybe I’m naïve…

The Gormogons Posted on July 31, 2008 by GorTJuly 31, 2008

…but I just don’t see how climate change (and I believe man has little impact on it – see here and here and here) is a racial issue but some people are trying to make it one. Isn’t this just … Continue reading →

Posted in T2on, The end of the Little Ice Age, This movie really sucks

So I’m clicking around that site…

The Gormogons Posted on July 31, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.July 31, 2008

…and I see this picture. Apparently it’s from the shrine of Our Lady of Guadalupe in that traditionally Mexican community of La Crosse, Wisconsin. It doesn’t say, and I’ll have to double-check the artist’s catalogue raisonné, but I’m pretty sure … Continue reading →

Posted in Aztecs, Blasphemy, Regina Cæli Θεοτοκος Advocata Evæ gratia plena Stella maris Causa nostræ lætitiæ, St. Juan Diego, Unam sanctam catholicam apostolicam ecclesiam

Inside Catholic baseball.

The Gormogons Posted on July 31, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.July 31, 2008

Move along, nothing to see here. Except it gives me another excuse to rail against stupid H.R.’s ripping out the communion rail. GRR! Where’s my freakin’ intinctorium! Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153

Continue reading →
Posted in crimes against architecture, intinction, stuff that makes me mad, Unam sanctam catholicam apostolicam ecclesiam

Military goodness

The Gormogons Posted on July 31, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.July 31, 2008

Some fun videos from MilitaryTimes.com. For gun dorks, the H&K 416, which looks to be an distinct improvement on the M4 (the Kalashnikov-inspired gas piston is a particularly welcome upgrade), though I still don’t know if terminal ballistics are going … Continue reading →

Posted in Guns

The heart breaks.

The Gormogons Posted on July 30, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.July 30, 2008

One victim, three-year-old Aleyna Çelik, was laid to rest in her parents’ hometown, the Aegean city of Amasya. Her mother, Melike Çelik, speaking at the funeral, said, “I died with her. Today (Monday) was supposed to be her birthday. Instead … Continue reading →

Posted in Awfulness, People Who Need Killin', Turkey

Vacation assignment for the ‘Puter

The Gormogons Posted on July 30, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.July 30, 2008

Ghettoputer, see how you would have done on Professor Obama’s con-law exam. My guess is… Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153

Continue reading →
Posted in Barack Obama, We the People…in order to form a more perfect union

Le Colbert ultramontain

The Gormogons Posted on July 29, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.July 29, 2008

For reason which must remain obscure, this is more GorT’s bailiwick than mine, but Stephen Colbert on the looming Anglican schism is pretty darn funny. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153

Continue reading →
Posted in B16, Divorced-beheaded-died-divorced-beheaded-survived, Le Colbert, schismatics, This TV show really sucks

Tire iron!

The Gormogons Posted on July 29, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.July 29, 2008

Well, between Ghettoputer’s braining some guy and my unloading my sawed-off on my Toro, GorT has compiled a pretty excellent police blotter. When will his felonious misdeeds come to light? Watch this space… Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like … Continue reading →

Posted in Guns, The Lawnmower Man, Tire-iron fu

Ghettoputer’s Weapon of Choice

The Gormogons Posted on July 29, 2008 by GorTJuly 29, 2008

While most of the amusement in this story is an inside, high school joke for us three, I figured I’d post it anyway: ORANGE COUNTY, Fla. — Orange County investigators searched for three men who robbed a Roma’s Pizza Shop … Continue reading →

Posted in Tire-iron fu

…and some of us slip right over the edge

The Gormogons Posted on July 28, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.July 28, 2008

Man, your Volgi seems to be carrying all the freight today. So, here’s one from the Wildly Entertaining file. The Volgi understands the feeling—oh, yes, he does—but dude, seriously, grab the reins and some perspective. Dude goes profane and berserk … Continue reading →

Posted in Rule Britannia, SPECIAL AGENT JIM RAGE OF PROJECT S.H.A.V.E, writing

Stupid bailouts

The Gormogons Posted on July 28, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.July 28, 2008

Funny! Not funny at all. Both via PrestoPundit. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153

Continue reading →
Posted in Charbucks, Gubbamint, Mmm...coffee..., Moral hazard, TEOTWAWKI

Andy Giuliani update

The Gormogons Posted on July 28, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.July 28, 2008

Following up on Ghettoputer’s WWTD? post on gentleman and scholar Andrew Giuliani, here’s a good post from Deadspin that points out this separated-at-birth resemblance. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153

Continue reading →
Posted in Meritocracy, Pixar rules, Rudy Giuliani, Syndrome, The Incredibles, What Would Tiger Do

We’re bobbing along in our barrel…

The Gormogons Posted on July 28, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.July 28, 2008

Hey, for the six of us who were lucky enough to get into Wonderfalls in its all-too-brief life on Fox (and enjoyed its DVD afterlife, which has more episodes than ever aired on TV), this last item is neat. And … Continue reading →

Posted in Pushing Daisies, This TV show really sucks, Wonderfalls

Where’s Ghettoputer?

The Gormogons Posted on July 28, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.July 28, 2008

“On vacation.” But we really know he’s scouting out a cheaper place to live. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153

Continue reading →
Posted in Beirut West

Tr2n

The Gormogons Posted on July 27, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.July 27, 2008

I’ll reserve judgement on its suckitude, and certainly for GorT’s sake, I hope it’s good. But what the hell is up with that title? I blame David Fincher or whoever came up with the idea of spelling Seven with a … Continue reading →

Posted in This movie really sucks

That movie might Suck, But…

The Gormogons Posted on July 27, 2008 by GorTJuly 27, 2008

..this one hopefully won’t. I think you can safely sign up ol’ GorT for seeing this one. GorTGorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal expensive technology from the future and return it to … Continue reading →

Posted in T2on, This movie really sucks

O, say, can you see?

The Gormogons Posted on July 26, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.July 26, 2008

I can’t see my man Silent Cal. But pretty entertaining. As with most things from JibJab, who have a right Gormogonical temperament about politics. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153

Continue reading →
Posted in Fort McHenry, Francis Scott Key, JibJab, We forgive Adm. Sir George Cockburn 10th Bt.

“Bianca Jagger advocates Tridentine Mass”

The Gormogons Posted on July 26, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.July 26, 2008

Hmm. Can’t say I saw that one coming. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153

Continue reading →
Posted in Missa Tridentina

In my defense (and, remember, I’ve got a sawed-off)

The Gormogons Posted on July 26, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.July 26, 2008

The lawnmower had it coming. And hey, my name is long, sure. And rhymes with an Umpty. But come on, know your Gormogon history! Who was the Œcumenical Volgi back in the day? That’s right, Confucius! And writing 孔夫子 is … Continue reading →

Posted in Confucius, Gormogonica, Guns, Klaatu barada nikto, Ted "Theodore" Logan, The Lawnmower Man

Making the Blog More Funny

The Gormogons Posted on July 26, 2008 by GorTJuly 26, 2008

We’re here to mock, so I’ll mock away: Apparently, 孔夫子, the Œcumenical Volgi (The Notorious ŒV) – could he have a longer name?, took matters into his own hands to make the blog more funny. See the news report here. … Continue reading →

Posted in Guns, Mocking, Wisconsin

Technomonology

The Gormogons Posted on July 26, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.July 26, 2008

Though this is encroaching on GorTechie’s territory, I realize we haven’t talked about technology. Also, it’s been too damn serious around here. So, killing two birds with one stone, I hereby order, BLOG, BE MORE FUNNY!. (God, I want that … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized

When “service” means “serving the state”

The Gormogons Posted on July 25, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.July 25, 2008

Here is a great essay by the brilliant Andrew Ferguson on McCain and Obama’s egomaniacal exaltation of politics as “service” greater than leading one’s “self-interest,” which is to say one’s own life and doing good in service to one’s family, … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized

14 Percent

The Gormogons Posted on July 25, 2008 by GorTJuly 25, 2008

So what do you get when you push through legislation like the Fannie/FreddieMac bailouts, the closed-door La Raza Immigration Bill, etc.; have corruptions like the sweetheart mortgage deals, cold hard cash hiding in freezers, etc., all after publicly claiming that … Continue reading →

Posted in Al Gore, Congress

Gun control vs. black Americans

The Gormogons Posted on July 25, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.July 25, 2008

Lest you think Ghettoputer exaggerates when he cites the intimate ties between Jim Crow and gun control, I point you in the direction of this law-review article which does a nice job with the history and connection. Here’s the epigraph, … Continue reading →

Posted in Git off mah land, Guns, Racism, Second Amendment

Governor Jindal…

The Gormogons Posted on July 25, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.July 25, 2008

…will also have to account for this oddball story he wrote in 1994, recounting a college dorm “exorcism” (not an actual Rite of Exorcism) for which he was present. Apparently it’s come up in campaigns before and hasn’t hurt him. … Continue reading →

Posted in Bobby Brady Jindal, Druids, Exorcism, Sam the Butcher

The Judge

The Gormogons Posted on July 25, 2008 by 'PuterJuly 25, 2008

We promised Bill of Rights, so Bill of Rights it shall be. First, the Second Amendment and our Nation’s Capital. Our ever-amusing and multi-talented civil rights abuser, the D.C. City Government has determined that no matter what the U.S. Supreme … Continue reading →

Posted in Gubbamint, Judge, Racism, Second Amendment

Our Next Conservative President?

The Gormogons Posted on July 25, 2008 by 'PuterJuly 25, 2008

Bobby Jindal. I must admit, I’ve a bit of a man crush on Governor Jindal (R-LA). Ain’t too many of us who have accomplished as much, even in a much fuller lifetime. He may be the salvation of the conservative … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized

There’s no such thing as Super Car

The Gormogons Posted on July 25, 2008 by GorTJuly 25, 2008

For those not in the “know” of the Gormogonican references, there was an ad for the local (metropolitan Washington, D.C.) metrorail system where two kids beat the traffic jam using a “super car”. Aside from the need for more roads … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized

Streetlights. Magma. Brendan Fraser is down some big ho-ole.

The Gormogons Posted on July 24, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.July 24, 2008

Journey at the Center of the Earth (Tends to load slowly, so I’d push play, then pause until it loads all the way, and then watch it.) Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153

Continue reading →
Posted in 1970s, Brendan Fraser, Ugly Rockers

Show me…a decent target silhouette!

The Gormogons Posted on July 24, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.July 24, 2008

Why Ghettoputer misses the good times in the rural Plains. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153

Continue reading →
Posted in Git off mah land, Guns, Idiot criminals, Moron Criminals

“Honor” killing

The Gormogons Posted on July 24, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.July 24, 2008

Vile, of course. But puts one in mind of Gen. Sir Chas. Jas. Napier’s reported response to a delegation of Hindu worthies complaining about the British abolition of suttee. “You say that it is your custom to burn widows. Very … Continue reading →

Posted in People Who Need Killin'

Baby, It’s Cold

The Gormogons Posted on July 24, 2008 by 'PuterJuly 24, 2008

By now, most folks have heard of Sen. Obama’s (D-IL) opposition to the Induced Birth Infant Liability Act while a member of the Illinois Senate. This Act provided that in the event an attempted abortion failed to kill the fetus/child, … Continue reading →

Posted in Barack Obama, Infanticide

What Would Tiger Do?

The Gormogons Posted on July 24, 2008 by 'PuterJuly 24, 2008

Perhaps this explains why “Republicans” are having a hard time winning elections these days. It gives one pause as to what young Andrew picked up about conservatism at home from his father. (And yes, I know Andrew hasn’t spoke to … Continue reading →

Posted in Meritocracy, Rudy Giuliani, What Would Tiger Do

Hello! My Name Is …

The Gormogons Posted on July 24, 2008 by 'PuterJuly 24, 2008

Sex Fruit! Only in the Anglosphere does this sort of nonsense happen. No one in Bangladesh or Sudan pulls this sort of stunt, mostly because they’re too busy figuring out how they’re going to eat today. Parents should follow the … Continue reading →

Posted in Boy Named Sue, Kiwis, St. Mildred

Breaking News, really?

The Gormogons Posted on July 24, 2008 by GorTJuly 24, 2008

While on a business trip (writing from the Austin Airport now), I was obligated in the Hotel breakfast area, various restaurant “lobbies” and the airport to watch CNN. Every time I stopped averting my eyes, it was “Breaking News”. At … Continue reading →

Posted in Barack Obama

Is that harmless old stoner really Josef Mengele?

The Gormogons Posted on July 24, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.July 24, 2008

So Radovan Karadžić finally got chased down by the law. I forgo commentary on Karadžić and his crimes but would care to draw your attention to the alias he’s been living under: Dr. Dragan David Dabić, expert and lecturer in … Continue reading →

Posted in Nazis Living As Hippies

Just be gone

The Gormogons Posted on July 24, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.July 24, 2008

His Fiskitude the Grand Exalted Psychopomp Jas. Lileks here goes after Garrison Keillor, who inspired the immortal “TV, BE MORE FUNNY!” Simpsons gag. In the course of Lileks’s column, he notes that the Minnesota State Treasure® Keillor names as one … Continue reading →

Posted in Badgers, Gophers, James Lileks, WAAAAAR, Witless Drollard

Mocking the Mockable Since 2008

The Gormogons Posted on July 24, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.July 24, 2008

The Antient & Noble Order of the Gormogons began as a secret society in Scotland in the eighteenth century, dedicated to parodying the powerful, self-important Freemasons and thoroughly enjoying themselves. In their spirit, we Latter-Day Gormogons have founded this blog … Continue reading →

Posted in Charlize Theron, Dodge Swinger, Doug(las) E. Fresh, Gormogonica, Inner Mongolia, Jeff George, Liza Minelli, Mayor-For-Life, 秦胯戤魄

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A secret society dedicated to the restoration of the Kingdom of Poland-Lithuania, the imprisonment of Esperanto speakers, and furthering the eschatological doctrine of the Return from Occultation of the Thirteenth Imam, Val Kilmer. Seriously, what happened to that guy? He was awesome in Tombstone. ایمام سیزدهم

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